Hi tumblr, I want you to meet me. I want to tell you why your fat acceptance movement is complete bullshit.
See that photo on the left? I was 160kg. That’s 352.7lbs for my American lovers out there.
I did not know I was 160kg. I didn’t go near a scale. I had gorgeous blonde hair extensions and jeans with chains and a leather jacket. I thought I was heaps fly. I could not see the girl in that picture… until I was tagged in that picture on Facebook.
I cannot tell you how long I cried for. Hours? Yes. Days? Probably. Weeks? It’s likely.
I went to a doctor to see just how much I had been putting my body through. I was 21 at the time. He told me that he would be very surprised if I made it to 30, as my back and my organs were already struggling, coupled with the fact that I have some blood issues anyway… I was just putting a lot of stress on myself physically.
So I learned how to eat. I learned the value of protein, the implications of sugar and the fun of a cheat day. I started watching my portion sizes and keeping my water intake up. I went on short walks - nothing too strenuous. Really, I didn’t put a whole lot of effort in at all. But the weight started falling off.
I remember the day I sat down comfortably at the Imax theatre in Sydney. I wasn’t sitting right at the edge so I didn’t get stuck. I was completely in the seat and it was incredible.
I dropped 50kg in 6 months without even trying.
My weight has fluctuated randomly since then, and I haven’t quite hit my goal yet, but I have never gotten near 160kg again. I used to work out by putting the weight I had lost in a back pack, but eventually it got too much and I was really hurting myself. Do you even understand that? I couldn’t even carry my own weight once I didn’t have to.
I spend a lot of time preparing food and working out, because nothing terrifies me more than going back to that.
Tumblr, I’m going to tell you what 160kg was like.
Some mornings, I woke up and my back had seized - I couldn’t go to work because I couldn’t walk. If it wasn’t my back, it was the unbelievable chest pains. I had so much trouble finding clothing in a size 24. And I’m going to be honest - sex was REALLY difficult. I was engaged to a wonderful man at the time, and I didn’t have the confidence or ability to take charge in the way I wanted to and he wanted me to. Plus, not to be crude, but certain positions were completely out because my fat got in the way. It’s something I STILL get unbelievably self conscious about - even though my situation has changed dramatically.
Sometimes, if I sat on a chair, I was afraid it would break. I spent a lot of time absolutely constipated because of my poor diet, and the flight up to my unit was the hardest thing in the world. I made frequent excuses for myself - including the age old “But I EAT REALLY WELL AND EXERCISE” yeah, if doritos were a vegetable and The Sims were a full body work out, I had those bases covered.
Everything hurt for no damn reason sometimes, and I was light headed and just plain sick so often it started to feel normal. My joints felt like those of an 80 year old woman. I was desperately, unbelievably unhappy and suicidal.
I want to share another thing with you before I get to my overall point.
That was the first picture I EVER took of my full body after dropping that 50kg. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done.
So. My point.
When you look at women like Tess Munster, and you tell me that she’s the epitome of a happy, healthy, and confident woman, I think you’re an ignorant asshole. I can’t believe that people choose to normalise that kind of lifestyle, and accept the fact that she will probably send herself to an early grave, because at least she’s happy. She’s making a movement out of being too lazy and apathetic to make a beneficial change, and it’s sickening.
Some girl came up to me once and criticised my weight loss, because I inspired her by being an overweight girl on stage. What the fuck do I even say to that? “Sorry I’m not killing myself slowly to make you feel better about yourself.”
When you tell me that thin people have privilege, and that people should love you because you’re morbidly obese, it takes everything inside me not to hunt you down and slap you silly. You’re an idiot. No one is obligated to find your laziness and lack of concern for yourself or your health hot. No one should ever have to respect someone who can’t respect themselves. Being thin is not a privilege - for some of us, achieving it is damn hard work.
I’m still overweight, and I know better than to demand someone find me attractive, or to get angry at someone for making fun of me with their friends. I also know better than to let it derail me or destroy me - rather, it fuels me.
Your fat acceptance is bullshit. You’re telling women to accept a body that is killing them. You’re telling women it’s ok that you’re a massive drain on the medical system, as long as you think you feel good.
Fuck your movement. I’d take actual, legitimate health over having my fat become a societal norm. I’d rather be relentlessly mocked for my weight than praised for it.
im way to tired to tear this post down can someone cover it for me
How exactly does this inspirational post about an amazing woman’s journey to better health require “tearing down?”
THANK YOU to the first and third comment. FINALLY someone says what’s wrong with the Health at All Sizes movement! As you all know I’ve NEVER posted any fat phobic commentary on my blog. In fact, I still affirm strongly there is NO reason to tear down any woman! BUT it is wrong to say that all health choices are good choices. There are ways to silently/gently/politely encourage others to make choices better for themselves. This is NOT fat policing, this is me saying that if you recognise you have made unhealthy choices and need help, or just want to talk, I’m here.
I’ve never been a thin girl. Even when I was little, born from a family with ‘big
bones’ and the like, my pixie stick thin mother would go on and one about how I’d
lose the weight, how I’d learn to grow and make myself feel better about myself
because I was thin like she was. I heard this every day from the time I was 6
years old, until I turned 13, and she became obsessed with the fact I was fat. A
13 year old girl, at 5’4 and barely topping 120lbs and my mother was going on
about the tiny pooch on my belly.
I grew, and
when I turned 17? I got pregnant, and went from 160lbs to 250lbs, and nearly gave
myself gestational diabetes as my body grew and stretched and expanded to host
my BEAUTIFUL daughter. Where I am now, 4 years post delivery, I’ve leveled
out at 230lbs total, and fluctuate between 245 and 220 on a regular basis. Does
this mean I am happy with my body? Absolutely not. But this does mean that
while I work my ass off with yoga, exercise, and a healthy diet, my body has metabolized
itself comfortably at a level that is way above the norm I had expected.
Reading stories of weight loss success are a
pleasure for myself. I love learning and seeing people succeed. I love knowing they
finally became the way the wished to be either for health, or aesthetic
reasons, but don’t you DARE go on a personal journey shaming those who choose
to be the way they are. You worked for how you needed to look because you
suffered remaining as you were. You body was killing you, yes. Don’t shame
people who choose not to. There should be no thin shaming, fat shaming, or
praise for either. Why say this? Because body positivity should be a norm for
everyone, no matter the shape or size. If someone chooses to be a danger to
themselves weight wise and be proud of that fact? Its not your job to go on and
on about why they should change that. No one is going to work themselves change
but the one who needs to change in the first place. Don’t sound like a 40 year
old, telling their daughter she won’t live to see her own child graduate.
have to change their bodies? If they want to, yes. But no one made you in a
position of judgment to criticize those who haven’t chosen to make the change. You
made it on your journey. Let other people make it on their own, rather than
sticking your nose in and telling people what lazy lumps on society they are. Burdens
on people when they probably feel that shitty about themselves already. It is
up to the person to take the first step towards body positivity, by saying as
you’re saying, you are absolutely no better than those who filled your
your success, but shame on you for looking down at others who haven’t taken the
first step. Despite your size, if you don’t feel you are good enough to change,
that change won’t happen at all. No, don’t coddle those who need to lose weight,
but remember that every damn person started somewhere, and its not up to you to
remind people what lard blobs they are on society, but rather to inspire and
raise awareness with your own story, happiness with your success and warning
about the dangers ignorance of ones size can cause. Or don’t. It really doesn’t
matter in the end, but we all start somewhere, you won’t get anything done
unless you love yourself first.
I had resolved not to do this, but fuck it. This warrants a special exception on account of you being clearly fucking illiterate.
My criticism lies with the fat acceptance movement, not with body positivity. I am a firm believer in having to care enough about yourself to change. I did not single anyone out and shame them. I attacked an idea of poor lifestyle being something that can be synonymous with health. Blogs like ok2bfat and thisisthinprivilege are fucking lying to vulnerable people who will blindly accept their pseudo science.
Yeah you can be healthy and overweight. But no fucking way is anyone who is 300 pounds healthy by any definition of the word. It’s dangerous.
When I say I’d rather be criticized, what I meant was if it were one or the other, I’d prefer nobody preaching that my shitty lifestyle was beautiful. I am sick to death of morbid obesity being glorified as beautiful. There is nothing beautiful about a person who cares so little about themselves they’re willing to eat themselves to death.
Everyone is free to live however the fuck they want. Have a heart attack at 30, who cares, you did it to yourself. BUT DONT YOU DARE TRY TO PERPETUATE THIS IDEA THAT A SIZE 24 CAN BE FUCKING HEALTHY. You’re a disgusting liar when you seek to deceive others that way to validate yourself.
Yeah. Shame on me for thinking that mentality is wrong. I’d rather be that cunt than the cunt who encourages women to remain unhealthy.