@ 78% AT&T LTE 332 PM blackoutmysteries You ran outside mistaking the snow for sand and started screaming holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can kept walking and drank a beer Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards WHERES THE BEACH before diving into the pool Almost died of hypothermia and you were still blackout Delivered BLACKOUT BLACKOUS BLACKOES I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards so let me get this straight night you just stared at his boner all night? You're aware she lit herself on fire right? Delivered BLACKOUT BLACKOUT MYSTERIES BNSTERIES MYSTERIES so when i got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizzait worked perfectly at first Today 0709 I watched Kanye punch out the pope Then a bag of skittles broke up the fight but then the hot pepper got into his eyes we didn't even go to a halloween party Halloween is the best Delivered Delivered Delivered BLACKOUS BLACKOUT MYSTERIES BLACKOUT YSTERIES 1 I drank goldschlager 2 I fell in a bathtub and hi't my head hard on a soap dish 2 I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos for almost an hour 3 We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub 4 We had sex I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night On reflection candy corn martinis were a poor choice of cocktail for the evening Delivered Delivered No shit BLACKOES BLACKOES BLACKOUT MYSTERIES were you wearing a green and blue thong last night? Literally just stood in the shower + о Pages like this Meme

found ON 2019-11-22 12:59:02 BY ME.ME

source: reddit