Actual Exchanges Between Pilots And Control Towers These Are Priceless Tower TWA 2341 for noise reduction turn right 45 Degrees TWA 2341 Center we are at 35000 feet How much noise can we make up here? Tower Sir have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727? From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue I'm f-ing bored! Ground Traffic Control Last aircraft transmitting identify yourself immediately! Unknown aircraft said I was f-ing bored not f-ing stupid! O'Hare Approach Control to a 747 United 329 heavy your traffic is a Fokker one o'clock three miles Eastbound United 329 Approach l've always wanted to say thisl've got the little Fokker in sight A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long rollout after touching down San Jose Tower noted American 751 make a harcd right turn at the end of the runway if you are able If you are not able take the Guadelupe exit off Highway 101 make a right at the lights and return to the airport A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following Lufthansa in German Ground what is our start clearance time? Ground in English If you want an answer you must speak in English Lufthansa in English I am a German flying a German airplane in Germany Why must I speak English? Unknown voice from another plane in a beautiful British accent Because you lost the bloody war! Tower Eastern 702 cleared for takeoff contact Departure on frequency 1247 Eastern 702 Tower Eastern 702 switching to Departure By the way after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway Tower Continental 635 cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702 contact Departure on frequency 1247 Did you copy that report from Eastern 702? BR Continental 635 Continental 635 cleared for takeoff roger and yes we copied Eastern we've already notified our caterers The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them So it was with some amusement that we a Pan Am 747 listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747 call sign Speedbird 206 Speedbird 206 Frankfurt Speedbird 206 clear of active runway Ground Speedbird 206 Taxi to gate Alpha One- Seven The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop Ground Speedbird do you not know where you are Speedbird 206 Stand by Ground I'm looking up our gate location now Ground with quite arrogant impatience Speedbird 206 have you not been to Frankfurt before? Speedbird 206 coolly Yes twice in 1944 but it was dark And I didn't land While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727 An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew screaming US Air 2771 where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Deltal Stop right there I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D but get it right! Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew she was now shouting hysterically God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you tol You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly whereI tell you when I tell you and how I tell you! You got that US Air 2771? Yes ma'am the humbled crew responded Naturally the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771 Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone asking Wasn't I married to you once? #5 is epic Meme

found @ 32 likes ON 2019-03-10 03:50:12 BY ME.ME

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