bookgeekgrrl: zombeesknees: #can people stop hiring paul bettany to be ice cold and whispery  #and hire him again to be A HYPER CON ARTIST STAND-UP EMCEE AGAIN  #pls and thnk u #TOOODAY #you find yourselves EQUALS #for you are all equally blessed #for I have the pride #the PRIVILEGE #NAY!!! #the PLEASURE #of introducing to you…… a knight….. SIRED by knights #A knight who can trace his lineage back……… before Charlemagne. #I first met him on a mountaintop pRAYING TO GOD #asking for forgiveness! #for the Saracen blood split by his sword. NEXT #he amazed me still futher #in Italy! #when he saved a fatherless beauty from the would-be ravishings of her DREADFUL TURKISH UNCLE #[dramatic pause] #He spent a year #……in silence……. #just to better understand the sound……… of a whisper? #AND SO #without any further gilding of the lily and with no more ado #I give you the Seeker of Serenity! #the Protector of Italian Virginity #the Enforcer of our Lord God #the One #the Only #SIR UUUUUUUUUUURLICH VON LICHTENSTEIN