BEFORE This is me before I started listening to KFAC Overweight poor unhappy and alone AFTER This is l after 16 short years as a KFAC listener Rich trim and sexy How classical music changed my life realized Hardy was right I resolved to give KFAC a shot At first it was quite painful Listening to all those 100-piece groups The other day at Ma Maison as I was waiting for the attendant to retrieve my chocolate brown 450 SLC the Saudi prince l'd been noshing with said Say Bill how did an unassuming guy like yourself come to be so rich so trim sosexy? My eyes grew misty It wasn't always this way Ahmed old buddy My mind raced back to the Bad Time before the investment tips the real estate empire before Dino bought my screenplay and I bought my Columbia 50 Once I was a lot like you Working at a nowhere job hitting the singles bars watching situation comedies in my free time I tipped the scales at a hefty 232 but my bank balance couldn't have fipped the bus boy at the Midnight Mission Finally I hit bottompicked up by the Castaic police for barreling my old heap the wrong way over some parking lot spikes My last friend in this lonely world Hardy Gustavsen set me straight while he was driving me back to LA Bill get hold of yourselft Start listening to KFAC! Gosh Hardy don't they play classical musict I'm not sure I cotton to that high brow stuff! Aside from a couple of summers at Tanglewood and Aspen and one semester in Casals' Master Class I knew absolutely nothing about classical music Bill who would be wrong if you got better! Looking into his steely blue eyes I improves Now if it can do that for plain old moo cows imagine what it can do for you! You might use it to contro! disgusting personal habits and make fun new friends The possibilities are the drumasing was used to having the left and the singer in the middle All those semidemihemiquavers made my head spin But I started to feel the beneficial effects of classical music listening in just one short week In no time I was using napkins with every meal I switched from Bourbon to an unpretentious Montrachet and I became able to hear sirens even with my car windows rolled up Soon I was spending every night with KFAC and a good book like Aquinas' Summa Theologica I realized that some of the wealthiest most famous people in this world listened to classical music-Napoleon Bismark George Washington Beethovenand many others who are yet alive today Then I met Marlene The first girl who knew there was more to Also Sprach Zarathustra than the theme from 2001 And I fell in kove Today I'm on top of the world with a wonderlul wife close triends in high places and a promising career in foreign currency manipulation Can classical music de for you what it did for me? A tew years back scientific studies showed that when dairy cows are played classical music the quantity and quality of their milk dramatically on the right and the bass on endless! Can you afford KFAC? Is lox kosher? Even though marketing surveys show that KFAČ's audience is the most affluent assemblage of nice people in Southern Califomia yes you can afford KFAC! Thanks to their Special Introductory Offer you can listen FREE OF CHARGÉ for as many hours as you like without obligation! Begin the KFAC habit today Remember the longest journey begins by getting dressed Don't let this opportunity slip through your fingers Tune to KFÁC right NOW while you're thinking about it And get ready for a spectacular improvement in your life Warn your famnily and friends that you may start dressing for dinner You may lose your taste for beer nuts And the next time you're on the freeway thinking about playing with your nose you'll find yourself asking Really Would a KFAC listener do this? Kfac AMNE EM Classical music made me steal surplus value Meme

found ON 2019-12-06 11:03:40 BY ME.ME

source: reddit