bundibird: wrangletangle: stevenrogered: Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans. Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this: A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. No thanks. Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers. How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess. He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover. Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case. Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.” If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go. I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been

anaconda
anaconda
betty white
betty white
Chris Evans
Chris Evans
Clothes
Clothes
Life
Life
Oscars
Oscars
Soon...
Soon...
tumblr
tumblr
Work
Work
Blog
Blog
Condescending
Condescending
Dodge
Dodge
Dress
Dress
Guess
Guess
Help
Help
How To
How To
Http
Http
Meaning
Meaning
Okay
Okay
Stuff
Stuff
Time
Time
Video
Video
White
White
Women
Women
Puberty
Puberty
Attitude
Attitude
Helps
Helps
Never
Never
Too High
Too High
Wonder
Wonder
Annoying
Annoying
Back
Back
Been
Been
how
how
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arm
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class
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king
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made
made
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for
steps
steps
events
events
win
win
red flag
red flag
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fine
details
details
href
href
read
read
more
more
this
this
dudebro
dudebro
of course
of course
high
high
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like
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 tumblr blog
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 up the stairs
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made-it
at-work
at-work
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ladies
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listen
over
over
out
out
congratulating
 congratulating
up the stairs
 up the stairs
showing off
 showing off
tumblr blog
 tumblr blog
interested
 interested
listen up
 listen up
open hand
 open hand
there is
 there is
no more
 no more
forearm
 forearm
small
 small
large
 large
close
 close
trans
 trans
evans
 evans
tall
 tall
flag
 flag
gets
 gets
like that
 like that
years
 years
around
 around
anymore
 anymore
much
 much
instead
 instead
want
 want
know
 know
need
 need
way
 way
hands
 hands
better
 better
see
 see
something
 something
sit down
 sit down
no
 no
ignore
 ignore
thus far
thus far
analysis
analysis
too
too
intact
intact
happen
happen
there
there
merely
merely
grab
grab
potentially
potentially
helpful
helpful
experienced
experienced
refuse
refuse
otherwise
otherwise
thus
thus
genuinely
genuinely
intimidating
intimidating
dignity
dignity
literally
literally
tripped
tripped
no thanks
no thanks
rumor mill
rumor mill
noticed
noticed
like this
like this
helping
helping
touching
touching
i guess
i guess
needed
needed
groped
groped
useful
useful
helpless
helpless
lets go
lets go
learned
learned
struggling
struggling
away
away
appear
appear
let's
let's
threatening
threatening
certainly
certainly
sometimes
sometimes
might
might
grope
grope
exactly
exactly
deal
deal
because
because
possible
possible
hit
hit
then
then
no no
no no
just
just
hand
hand
probably
probably
thanks
thanks
different
different
regina king
regina king
unfortunately
unfortunately
ridiculous
ridiculous
grateful
grateful
guys
guys
find
find
well
well
full
full
people
people
nothing
nothing
guy
guy
problem
problem
this is
this is
clapping
clapping
right
right
slap
slap
men
men
sure
sure
swerve
swerve
like
like
done
done
high
high
of course
of course
dudebro
dudebro
this
this
more
more
read
read
href
href
details
details
fine
fine
red flag
red flag
win
win
events
events
steps
steps
for
for
made
made
times
times
factoring
factoring
body language
body language
works
works
post
post
jerk
jerk
the time
the time
door
door
you
you
moment
moment
they
they
make
make
regina
regina
first
first
all
all
them
them
woman
woman
think
think
she
she
why
why
don
don
open
open
man
man
case
case
down
down
cis
cis
shoe
shoe
clothing
clothing
can
can
language
language
him
him
big
big
gone
gone
who
who
king
king
class
class
arm
arm
com
com
car
car
red
red
her
her
another
another
how
how
Been
Been
Back
Back
Annoying
Annoying
Wonder
Wonder
Too High
Too High
Never
Never
Helps
Helps
Attitude
Attitude
Puberty
Puberty
Women
Women
White
White
Video
Video
Time
Time
Stuff
Stuff
Okay
Okay
Meaning
Meaning
Http
Http
How To
How To
Help
Help
Guess
Guess
Dress
Dress
Dodge
Dodge
Condescending
Condescending
Blog
Blog
Work
Work
tumblr
tumblr
Soon...
Soon...
Oscars
Oscars
Life
Life
Clothes
Clothes
Chris Evans
Chris Evans
betty white
betty white
anaconda
anaconda

bundibird wrangletangle stevenrogered Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win Okay listen up all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well wonder no more! It works like this A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before Ladies cis and trans both are unfortunately experienced at being groped poked prodded “helped” and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help and we should be grateful he offered it No thanks Chris is doing something very different here and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events You can read his mental process in his body language He starts with just clapping and congratulating He offers nothing until there is a need which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed This is when Chris offers How he offers matters He starts with an open hand toward her but this is a big no-no Open hands are a red flag Open hands grope and grab and shove He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress He also bends down a bit to do this I don’t know if you’ve noticed but Chris is kind of a tall beefy guy Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be at least when they’re up close Also his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height So he bends down This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars because she’s shorter than Regina I guess He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it When she lets go he steps back This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help He’s just interested in helping and when he’s not needed he’s done He goes back to sit down He doesn’t hover Also Regina King knows who Chris Evans is His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case Women are not helpless Compared to men our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact but conversely we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have It’s not that we never need or want help like all people we do sometimes need a hand It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without” If you are offering help to a woman first make sure she actually appears to be struggling Second make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching not the other way around Third make sure she can refuse without any consequences And fourth back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents but you’re right It’s all in the way he helps It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok while from another man who probably would have gone about it differentky it might not have been Meme

found @ 31 likes ON 2019-03-10 09:16:03 BY ME.ME

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