A Dream
A Dream
Christmas
Christmas
Instagram
Instagram
Life
Life
Love
Love
Saw
Saw
Sex
Sex
shit
shit
Las Vegas
Las Vegas
Work
Work
Army
Army
Define
Define
Fiance
Fiance
Fuck
Fuck
Happy
Happy
Movie
Movie
Naked
Naked
Orange
Orange
Sunrise
Sunrise
Tattoo
Tattoo
White
White
Wife
Wife
Wedding
Wedding
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Alcoholic
Alcoholic
Strong
Strong
Dance
Dance
Mystery
Mystery
The Prophecy
The Prophecy
Truth
Truth
Back
Back
Beards
Beards
got
got
add
add
john lewis
john lewis
led
led
once
once
foot
foot
jumper
jumper
gay
gay
who
who
character
character
dream
dream
cocktail
cocktail
big
big
him
him
source
source
pet
pet
one
one
bar
bar
account
account
man
man
imagine
imagine
fighting
fighting
personality
personality
rabbits
rabbits
three
three
reading
reading
staff
staff
rings
rings
she
she
names
names
own
own
all
all
lewis
lewis
they
they
you
you
call
call
door
door
inside
inside
now
now
person
person
buddy
buddy
accent
accent
ran
ran
what
what
trio
trio
south
south
notes
notes
for
for
months
months
prophecy
prophecy
whats
whats
polyamorous
polyamorous
stand
stand
fiancee
fiancee
decade
decade
look
look
more
more
feels
feels
get
get
relationship
relationship
couple
couple
like
like
men
men
guy
guy
people
people
absolutely
absolutely
just
just
finally
finally
because
because
impossible
impossible
having sex
having sex
broken
broken
blond
blond
someone
someone
snack
snack
love of my life
love of my life
happy christmas
happy christmas
what the
what the
hes
hes
let's
let's
sitcom
sitcom
got it
got it
jumping
jumping
shit happens
shit happens
the fuck
the fuck
unaware
unaware
let me
let me
dance floor
dance floor
invited
invited
extraordinary
extraordinary
truth be told
truth be told
ever
ever
arse
arse
ned
ned
bloke
bloke
stereotypical
stereotypical
i dont care
i dont care
thirty
thirty
the love
the love
doorman
doorman
junkie
junkie
woke
woke
venue
venue
rhyme
rhyme
polyamorous relationship
polyamorous relationship
meeting
 meeting
no
 no
called
 called
care
 care
hours
 hours
my life
 my life
week
 week
need
 need
know
 know
left
 left
follow
 follow
want
 want
month
 month
instead
 instead
drink
 drink
said
 said
year
 year
ten
 ten
dan
 dan
lute
 lute
dont
 dont
drew
 drew
tall
 tall
heavy
 heavy
decided
 decided
beating
 beating
married
 married
being gay
 being gay
homophobe
 homophobe
dedicated
 dedicated
must have
 must have
don't care
 don't care
appearance
 appearance
i dont even
 i dont even
accidentally
 accidentally
look forward
 look forward
fighting back
 fighting back
what the fuck
 what the fuck
his personality
 his personality
on the dance floor
 on the dance floor
let-me-tell-you
let-me-tell-you
out
out
john
john
for-three
for-three
Off
Off
Season
Season
And
And
You Know
You Know
Forgot
Forgot
Left Out
Left Out
When
When
Honestly
Honestly
Dont Even
Dont Even
Simply
Simply
Men With Beards
Men With Beards
Older
Older
I Dont Even Know
I Dont Even Know
That
That
Logan
Logan
Loving
Loving
But
But
Not
Not
Jeff
Jeff
Last
Last
When He
When He
The Door
The Door
Freaked Out
Freaked Out
The
The
I Need
I Need
Update
Update
Caught
Caught
Theyre
Theyre
Told
Told
Write
Write
Front
Front
A Ten
A Ten
Knocked
Knocked
Without
Without
Seasons
Seasons
Movie About
Movie About
While
While
Didnt
Didnt
Start
Start
The Bar
The Bar
Unofficial
Unofficial
Woke Up
Woke Up
Had To
Had To
I Dont
I Dont
Thats
Thats
Forward
Forward
Was
Was
With
With
Let
Let
Our
Our
Rule
Rule
Have
Have
Four
Four
Had
Had
Unless
Unless
Of My
Of My
When I
When I
Floor
Floor
Which
Which
Only
Only
About
About
You Now
You Now
Whats The
Whats The
Since
Since
Has
Has
Before
Before
Being
Being
Describe
Describe
Most
Most
Last Week
Last Week
Loos
Loos
Must
Must
Theres
Theres
Meet
Meet
Tell
Tell
Happens
Happens
Than
Than
Runs
Runs
Even
Even
Freaked
Freaked
His
His
Last Year
Last Year
Could
Could
Life Is
Life Is
Having
Having
Big Ol
Big Ol
A Character
A Character
A Man
A Man
About The
About The
Any
Any
Beating Up
Beating Up
Before I
Before I
Convinced
Convinced
For The
For The
Forgot To Call
Forgot To Call
Friending
Friending
Guy For
Guy For
He Has
He Has
In Front Of The
In Front Of The
In The
In The
Instead Of
Instead Of
Into
Into
Is Not
Is Not
Jumping In
Jumping In
Life Of
Life Of
Like A
Like A
Longer
Longer
Non Alcoholic
Non Alcoholic
Non
Non
Older Than Me
Older Than Me
Older Than
Older Than
Only Person
Only Person
Patrolling
Patrolling
Pet Rabbits
Pet Rabbits
In The
In The
About
About
Dont Give A
Dont Give A
With
With
I Dont
I Dont
Its
Its
Your
Your
From
From
The
The
Give
Give
Not
Not
But
But
Conservatives
Conservatives
Give A Shit
Give A Shit
That
That
Talk To Me
Talk To Me
Royal
Royal
Dont Give A Shit
Dont Give A Shit
When
When
Cant
Cant
Other
Other
And
And
Smith
Smith
Performance
Performance
out
out
need-to-know
need-to-know
the way
 the way
know
 know
things
 things
kid
kid
Test
Test
memes
memes
memes
memes
Test
Test
kid
kid
things
 things
know
 know
the way
 the way
need-to-know
need-to-know
out
out
Performance
Performance
Smith
Smith
And
And
Other
Other
Cant
Cant
When
When
Dont Give A Shit
Dont Give A Shit
Royal
Royal
Talk To Me
Talk To Me
That
That
Give A Shit
Give A Shit
Conservatives
Conservatives
But
But
Not
Not
Give
Give
The
The
From
From
Your
Your
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I Dont
With
With
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Dont Give A
About
About
In The
In The
Pet Rabbits
Pet Rabbits
Patrolling
Patrolling
Only Person
Only Person
Older Than
Older Than
Older Than Me
Older Than Me
Non
Non
Non Alcoholic
Non Alcoholic
Longer
Longer
Like A
Like A
Life Of
Life Of
Jumping In
Jumping In
Is Not
Is Not
Into
Into
Instead Of
Instead Of
In The
In The
In Front Of The
In Front Of The
He Has
He Has
Guy For
Guy For
Friending
Friending
Forgot To Call
Forgot To Call
For The
For The
Convinced
Convinced
Before I
Before I
Beating Up
Beating Up
Any
Any
About The
About The
A Man
A Man
A Character
A Character
Big Ol
Big Ol
Having
Having
Life Is
Life Is
Could
Could
Last Year
Last Year
His
His
Freaked
Freaked
Even
Even
Runs
Runs
Than
Than
Happens
Happens
Tell
Tell
Meet
Meet
Theres
Theres
Must
Must
Loos
Loos
Last Week
Last Week
Most
Most
Describe
Describe
Being
Being
Before
Before
Has
Has
Since
Since
Whats The
Whats The
You Now
You Now
About
About
Only
Only
Which
Which
Floor
Floor
When I
When I
Of My
Of My
Unless
Unless
Had
Had
Four
Four
Have
Have
Rule
Rule
Our
Our
Let
Let
With
With
Was
Was
Forward
Forward
Thats
Thats
I Dont
I Dont
Had To
Had To
Woke Up
Woke Up
Unofficial
Unofficial
The Bar
The Bar
Start
Start
Didnt
Didnt
While
While
Movie About
Movie About
Seasons
Seasons
Without
Without
Knocked
Knocked
A Ten
A Ten
Front
Front
Write
Write
Told
Told
Theyre
Theyre
Caught
Caught
Update
Update
I Need
I Need
The
The
Freaked Out
Freaked Out
The Door
The Door
When He
When He
Last
Last
Jeff
Jeff
Not
Not
But
But
Loving
Loving
Logan
Logan
That
That
I Dont Even Know
I Dont Even Know
Older
Older
Men With Beards
Men With Beards
Simply
Simply
Dont Even
Dont Even
Honestly
Honestly
When
When
Left Out
Left Out
Forgot
Forgot
You Know
You Know
And
And
Season
Season
Off
Off
for-three
for-three
john
john
out
out
let-me-tell-you
let-me-tell-you
on the dance floor
 on the dance floor
his personality
 his personality
what the fuck
 what the fuck
fighting back
 fighting back
look forward
 look forward
accidentally
 accidentally
i dont even
 i dont even
appearance
 appearance
don't care
 don't care
must have
 must have
dedicated
 dedicated
homophobe
 homophobe
being gay
 being gay
married
 married
beating
 beating
decided
 decided
heavy
 heavy
tall
 tall
drew
 drew
dont
 dont
lute
 lute
dan
 dan
ten
 ten
year
 year
said
 said
drink
 drink
instead
 instead
month
 month
want
 want
follow
 follow
left
 left
know
 know
need
 need
week
 week
my life
 my life
hours
 hours
care
 care
called
 called
no
 no
meeting
 meeting
polyamorous relationship
polyamorous relationship
rhyme
rhyme
venue
venue
woke
woke
junkie
junkie
doorman
doorman
the love
the love
thirty
thirty
i dont care
i dont care
stereotypical
stereotypical
bloke
bloke
ned
ned
arse
arse
ever
ever
truth be told
truth be told
extraordinary
extraordinary
invited
invited
dance floor
dance floor
let me
let me
unaware
unaware
the fuck
the fuck
shit happens
shit happens
jumping
jumping
got it
got it
sitcom
sitcom
let's
let's
hes
hes
what the
what the
happy christmas
happy christmas
love of my life
love of my life
snack
snack
someone
someone
blond
blond
broken
broken
having sex
having sex
impossible
impossible
because
because
finally
finally
just
just
absolutely
absolutely
people
people
guy
guy
men
men
like
like
couple
couple
relationship
relationship
get
get
feels
feels
more
more
look
look
decade
decade
fiancee
fiancee
stand
stand
polyamorous
polyamorous
whats
whats
prophecy
prophecy
months
months
for
for
notes
notes
south
south
trio
trio
what
what
ran
ran
accent
accent
buddy
buddy
person
person
now
now
inside
inside
door
door
call
call
you
you
they
they
lewis
lewis
all
all
own
own
names
names
she
she
rings
rings
staff
staff
reading
reading
three
three
rabbits
rabbits
personality
personality
fighting
fighting
imagine
imagine
man
man
account
account
bar
bar
one
one
pet
pet
source
source
him
him
big
big
cocktail
cocktail
dream
dream
character
character
who
who
gay
gay
jumper
jumper
foot
foot
once
once
led
led
john lewis
john lewis
add
add
got
got
Beards
Beards
Back
Back
Truth
Truth
The Prophecy
The Prophecy
Mystery
Mystery
Dance
Dance
Strong
Strong
Alcoholic
Alcoholic
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
Wedding
Wedding
Wife
Wife
White
White
Tattoo
Tattoo
Sunrise
Sunrise
Orange
Orange
Naked
Naked
Movie
Movie
Happy
Happy
Fuck
Fuck
Fiance
Fiance
Define
Define
Army
Army
Work
Work
Las Vegas
Las Vegas
shit
shit
Sex
Sex
Saw
Saw
Love
Love
Life
Life
Instagram
Instagram
Christmas
Christmas
A Dream
A Dream

cacen so at the bar in which I work there's an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with 'doorman' which has led to me be- friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan Doorman Drew and Doorman Dan now let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso- lute love of my life I don't care that he's a decade older than me and has a fiance you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan now before I get into his personality let's describe his appearance imagine the most stereotypical Scand inavian person ever tall white-blond strong-jawed now add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper that's Doorman Dan since meeting him last year I've discovered he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army and was complet unaware they had broken up until he wishe happy Christmas and she responded with what the fuck Dan accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for 'mystery adventures' one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee but a man named Ned upon being asked who Ned is he shrugged and responded with TII know when I meet him he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed I don't even know if I'm invited truth be told when he caught a couple having sex in our loos he didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they'd like a snack he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he's patrolling the bar I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him cacen BIG OL UPDATE HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!! zohbugg I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of Doorman Dan thecheshirecass I look forward to reading more about the loving polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with Ned when they finally meet fuckveahdiomedes What's the instagram for the rabbits op? Source cacen 114993 notes The adventures of doorman dan Meme

found @ 28 likes ON 2019-02-12 23:00:16 BY ME.ME

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