As much as I’d like to claim this is a practical joke, this is the ACTUAL CARTOON NETWORK SCHEDULE FOR CHRISTMAS DAY TO NEW YEARS EVE.
H-how?! This is a marathon of EVERY EPISODE (all 203) of Teen Titans Go! repeated 2.5 times in a row. Who asked for this? Who asked for “instead of a decent or just remotely tolerable Christmas schedule, maybe with some of those old specials we put on the app, let’s just run a show we have already marathoned for almost every other major holiday or premiere this year for EIGHT DAYS??”
Oh yeah, there’s Steven Universe. I hope you noticed that. I hope you noticed those TWO episodes it has, both being TV premieres (Sadie Killer, Kevin Party). 1 week before the SU half-hour special that will probably get super-hyped by CN. Those two episodes makes this schedule just even more absurd. The TTG marathon could have stopped that day. It could have stopped after SU. But nevertheless, it persisted.
New Years Eve is the absolute stopping point for the marathon. Unikitty! premieres on the 1st and will start getting all the attention for a month at least. So there’s an end. But still. Eight. Fucking. Days. I don’t mean to curse on a blog about, well, Cartoon Network. But still. EIGHT. FUCKING. DAYS.
I-I try to find silver linings in every terrible CN schedule. Like that one from August. “At least they’re giving OK K.O.! a lot of trust!” But… I don’t… think I can find a silver lining in this. SU is just aired because it was advertised so and that they need to air those episodes before “Lars of the Stars” and “Jungle Moon” the week after. So, here’s my attempt at a silver lining for this… you don’t need to watch this. You could be watching the holiday specials that CN posted on their app. Make your own schedule out of that. I could watch “Hey Hey It’s Knishmas” all the doo-dah day if I wanted to.
Yeah, I know. The silver lining is basically “don’t watch CN this week.” But, yeah. It’s got to the point where that’s my suggestion. Good luck trying to catch a Christmas special on Boomerang, btw. Just the app or cable on demand.
2017 has been one heck of a year for the network. You had two new shows! Ben 10 and OK K.O.! First show is alright, second show is amazing! Then Teen Titans showed up! Then the original Ben 10 showed up! Then Regular Show showed up after ending in January! Then Ben 10 and Regular Show disappeared quickly. But that was expected. The bigger surprise is that Teen Titans is still on the lineup.
But the schedule had problems. Teen Titans Go! marathons were getting longer. More frequent. More pointless. I thought there would be some nice stuff for Christmas. I thought the holiday specials they put on the CN app were a good sign.
I shouldn’t have hope.
Here’s what’s new that week:
Steven Universe - Friday (12/29) at 7:30p
Teen Titans Go! - 384 - 99%
Steven Universe - 2 - 1%
I don’t usually post schedules from over a week from now, but I just had to for this. I don’t think anything will change on the schedule. Maybe the order of which episodes air, but that doesn’t really matter. If there’s something more drastic, like, say, CN ending the marathon early for some surprise reason, I’ll be there to change the pic.