Excerpts from a Dog's Diary 800 am- Dog food! My favorite thing! 930 am- A car ride! My favorite thing! 940 am- A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 1030 am- Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 1200 PM- Lunch! My favorite thing! 100 PM Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 300 PM-Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 500 PM- Milk bones! My favorite thing! 700 PM Got to play ball! My favorite thing 800 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 1100 PM -Sleeping on the bed! M y favorite thing Excerpts from a Cat's Diary? Day 983 of my captivity My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects They dine lavishly on fresh meat while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape In an attempt to disgust them I once again vomit on the carpet Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of However they merely made condescending comments about what a good little hunter'I am Bastards There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event However I could hear the noises and smell the food I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking I must try this again tomorrow-but at the top of the stairs I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches The dog receives special privileges He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return He is obviously retarded The bird has got to be an informant I observe him communicating with the guards regularly I am certain that he reports my every move My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cel so he is safe For now THE META PICTURE srsfunny Dog Diary Vs Cat Diary Meme

found @ 31 likes ON 2019-02-13 13:55:19 BY ME.ME