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mate
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 based on a true story
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 not feeling well
automatically
 automatically
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 trouble
late
 late
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 cup
seconds
 seconds
left
 left
know
 know
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message
 message
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 no
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 walk
through
through
programmer
programmer
reasons
reasons
there
there
were
were
based
based
smack
smack
loves
loves
mate
mate
literally
literally
worries
worries
pouring
pouring
a cup
a cup
gonna
gonna
sitting
sitting
uhm
uhm
those
those
the machine
the machine
feeling
feeling
exactly
exactly
then
then
anything
anything
well
well
latest
latest
guy
guy
youre
youre
like
like
this
this
more
more
the job
the job
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reply
reply
scripts
scripts
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backup
machine
machine
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text message
for
for
brew
brew
build
build
caf
caf
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inside
inside
story
story
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script
you
you
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array
thing
thing
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brewing
terminal
terminal
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socket
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dba
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set
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etc
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hacker
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telnet
engineer
engineer
one
one
network
network
dot
dot
dates
dates
login
login
cron
cron
server
server
database
database
the script
the script
who
who
tcp
tcp
ssh
ssh
next
next
vim
vim
oscar
oscar
random
random
looking
looking
company
company
job
job
another
another
idea
idea
how
how
Be Careful
Be Careful
Back
Back
Asshole
Asshole
Linux
Linux
Running
Running
Reason
Reason
Living
Living
Wife
Wife
Wiki
Wiki
True Story
True Story
Time
Time
Text
Text
Legacy
Legacy
Inbox
Inbox
Home
Home
Help
Help
Desk
Desk
Coffee
Coffee
hangover
hangover
Work
Work
XXX
XXX
True
True
Sorry
Sorry
Love
Love
Fucking
Fucking
dude
dude
Bitch
Bitch
apparently
apparently

Hacker Scripts Based on a true story build engineer has left for another company The dude was literally living inside the terminal You know Xxx OK so our that type of a guy who loves Vim creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown If something anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time he writes a script to automate that xxx So we're sitting here looking through his uhm legacy xxx You're gonna love this xxx smack-my-bitch-upsh - sends a text message late at work to his wife apparently Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings randomly Runs inside a cron-job The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login xxx kumar-assholesh scans the inbox for emails from Kumar a DBA at our clients Looks for keywords like help trouble sorry etc If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup Then sends a reply no worries mate be careful next time xxx hangoversh another cron-job that is set to specific dates Sends automated emails like not feeling wellgonna work from home etc Adds a random reason from another predefined array of strings Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 845am xxx and the oscar goes to fucking-coffeesh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds ! then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running and sends something like sys brew Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 seconds before pouring it into a cup The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk xxx holy sh*t I'm keeping those XX A true programmer Meme

found @ 35 likes ON 2019-07-21 05:43:52 BY ME.ME

source: tumblr