apparently
apparently
Bitch
Bitch
dude
dude
Fucking
Fucking
Love
Love
Sorry
Sorry
True
True
XXX
XXX
Work
Work
hangover
hangover
Coffee
Coffee
Desk
Desk
Help
Help
Home
Home
Inbox
Inbox
Legacy
Legacy
Text
Text
Time
Time
True Story
True Story
Wiki
Wiki
Wife
Wife
Old
Old
Living
Living
Reason
Reason
Running
Running
Linux
Linux
Asshole
Asshole
Back
Back
Be Careful
Be Careful
how
how
git
git
idea
idea
another
another
job
job
company
company
looking
looking
random
random
oscar
oscar
vim
vim
next
next
ssh
ssh
tcp
tcp
who
who
the script
the script
database
database
server
server
cron
cron
login
login
dates
dates
dot
dot
network
network
one
one
engineer
engineer
account
account
telnet
telnet
hacker
hacker
etc
etc
the terminal
the terminal
set
set
latte
latte
dba
dba
socket
socket
terminal
terminal
brewing
brewing
thing
thing
array
array
you
you
script
script
story
story
inside
inside
work from home
work from home
caf
caf
build
build
brew
brew
for
for
text message
text message
machine
machine
backup
backup
scripts
scripts
reply
reply
coffee machine
coffee machine
the job
the job
more
more
this
this
like
like
youre
youre
guy
guy
latest
latest
well
well
anything
anything
then
then
exactly
exactly
feeling
feeling
the machine
the machine
those
those
uhm
uhm
sitting
sitting
gonna
gonna
ooc
ooc
a cup
a cup
pouring
pouring
worries
worries
literally
literally
mate
mate
loves
loves
smack
smack
based
based
were
were
there
there
reasons
reasons
through
through
walk
 walk
no
 no
message
 message
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know
 know
left
 left
seconds
 seconds
cup
 cup
late
 late
trouble
 trouble
automatically
 automatically
not feeling well
 not feeling well
based on a true story
 based on a true story
be-careful-next-time
be-careful-next-time
out
out
type
type
at-work
at-work
Sitting Here
Sitting Here
And The Oscar Goes To
And The Oscar Goes To
Active
Active
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And
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Here
Posts
Posts
Interactive
Interactive
No Worries
No Worries
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Holy
That
That
The Dude
The Dude
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Not
The
The
Long
Long
From
From
Next Time
Next Time
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Smack My Bitch Up
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Emails
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Starts
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Keeping
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A True Story
Looks
Looks
Dudes
Dudes
After
After
OK
OK
Strings
Strings
Scans
Scans
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Was
With
With
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Takes
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Our
Found
Found
Are
Are
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Has
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Rolls
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Careful
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Diagrams
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Keywords
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Know That
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Kumar
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Late At Work
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Love This
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No Worries Mate
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Old Git
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On A
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Xoox
Automate
Automate
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Markdown
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Session
Set To
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Specific
Staging
Staging
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Sys
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The Latest
dollars
 dollars
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 cuoco
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 follow
things
 things
tardiness
tardiness
fare
fare
femme
femme
yours
yours
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yall
bianca
bianca
ill
ill
somebody
somebody
pleased
pleased
enjoying
enjoying
comming
comming
cuteness
cuteness
madding
madding
panting
panting
tardy
tardy
pumpkins
pumpkins
nothing
nothing
becky
becky
psychics
psychics
promotion
promotion
charisma
charisma
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coffee shop
machine
machine
carbonara
carbonara
rainbows
rainbows
yen
yen
spices
spices
you
you
humanism
humanism
granola
granola
one
one
spice
spice
ares
ares
pasta
pasta
com
com
🤖
🤖
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Turk
Thought
Thought
Italian (Language)
Italian (Language)
Mad
Mad
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
Pumpkin
Pumpkin
Http
Http
Coffee
Coffee
memes
memes
dank
dank
9gag
9gag
9gag
9gag
dank
dank
memes
memes
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Coffee
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Http
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Pumpkin
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
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Mad
Italian (Language)
Italian (Language)
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Thought
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Turk
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🤖
com
com
pasta
pasta
ares
ares
spice
spice
one
one
granola
granola
humanism
humanism
you
you
spices
spices
yen
yen
rainbows
rainbows
carbonara
carbonara
machine
machine
coffee shop
coffee shop
charisma
charisma
promotion
promotion
psychics
psychics
becky
becky
nothing
nothing
pumpkins
pumpkins
tardy
tardy
panting
panting
madding
madding
cuteness
cuteness
comming
comming
enjoying
enjoying
pleased
pleased
somebody
somebody
ill
ill
bianca
bianca
yall
yall
yours
yours
femme
femme
fare
fare
tardiness
tardiness
things
 things
follow
 follow
cuoco
 cuoco
dollars
 dollars
The Latest
The Latest
Sys
Sys
Staging
Staging
Specific
Specific
Set To
Set To
Session
Session
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Randomly
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Of His
Of His
More Than
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Markdown
Markdown
Automate
Automate
Xoox
Xoox
Sessions
Sessions
On A
On A
Old Git
Old Git
No Worries Mate
No Worries Mate
Love This
Love This
Late At Work
Late At Work
Kumar
Kumar
Know That
Know That
Keywords
Keywords
Into
Into
Found The
Found The
Diagrams
Diagrams
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A Reply
Ok So
Ok So
My Bitch
My Bitch
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Careful
His
His
Rolls
Rolls
Runs
Runs
Than
Than
Timing
Timing
Before
Before
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Mid
Has
Has
How Long
How Long
Adds
Adds
Goes
Goes
Automated
Automated
Had
Had
Are
Are
Found
Found
Our
Our
Half
Half
Takes
Takes
With
With
Was
Was
Scans
Scans
Strings
Strings
OK
OK
After
After
Dudes
Dudes
Looks
Looks
A True Story
A True Story
Keeping
Keeping
Starts
Starts
Emails
Emails
Smack My Bitch Up
Smack My Bitch Up
Next Time
Next Time
From
From
Long
Long
The
The
Not
Not
The Dude
The Dude
That
That
Holy
Holy
No Worries
No Worries
Interactive
Interactive
Posts
Posts
Here
Here
You Know
You Know
And
And
Active
Active
And The Oscar Goes To
And The Oscar Goes To
Sitting Here
Sitting Here
at-work
at-work
type
type
out
out
be-careful-next-time
be-careful-next-time
based on a true story
 based on a true story
not feeling well
 not feeling well
automatically
 automatically
trouble
 trouble
late
 late
cup
 cup
seconds
 seconds
left
 left
know
 know
something
 something
message
 message
no
 no
walk
 walk
through
through
reasons
reasons
there
there
were
were
based
based
smack
smack
loves
loves
mate
mate
literally
literally
worries
worries
pouring
pouring
a cup
a cup
ooc
ooc
gonna
gonna
sitting
sitting
uhm
uhm
those
those
the machine
the machine
feeling
feeling
exactly
exactly
then
then
anything
anything
well
well
latest
latest
guy
guy
youre
youre
like
like
this
this
more
more
the job
the job
coffee machine
coffee machine
reply
reply
scripts
scripts
backup
backup
machine
machine
text message
text message
for
for
brew
brew
build
build
caf
caf
work from home
work from home
inside
inside
story
story
script
script
you
you
array
array
thing
thing
brewing
brewing
terminal
terminal
socket
socket
dba
dba
latte
latte
set
set
the terminal
the terminal
etc
etc
hacker
hacker
telnet
telnet
account
account
engineer
engineer
one
one
network
network
dot
dot
dates
dates
login
login
cron
cron
server
server
database
database
the script
the script
who
who
tcp
tcp
ssh
ssh
next
next
vim
vim
oscar
oscar
random
random
looking
looking
company
company
job
job
another
another
idea
idea
git
git
how
how
Be Careful
Be Careful
Back
Back
Asshole
Asshole
Linux
Linux
Running
Running
Reason
Reason
Living
Living
Old
Old
Wife
Wife
Wiki
Wiki
True Story
True Story
Time
Time
Text
Text
Legacy
Legacy
Inbox
Inbox
Home
Home
Help
Help
Desk
Desk
Coffee
Coffee
hangover
hangover
Work
Work
XXX
XXX
True
True
Sorry
Sorry
Love
Love
Fucking
Fucking
dude
dude
Bitch
Bitch
apparently
apparently

Hacker Scripts Based on a true story xoox OK so our build engineer has left for another company The dude was literally living inside the terminal You know that type of a guy who loves Vim creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown I fsomething- anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time he writes a script to automate that xxoc So we're sitting here looking through his uhm legacy xxx You're gonna love this ooc smack-my-bitch-upsh -sends a text message late at work to his wife apparently Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings randomly Runs inside a cron-job The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login xxox kumar-assholesh - scans the inbox for emails from Kumar a DBA at our clients Looks for keywords like help trouble sorry etc If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup Then sends a reply no worries mate be careful next time xxx hangoversh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates Sends automated emails like not feeling wellgonna work from home etc Adds a random reason from another predefined array of strings Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 845am xoox and the oscar goes to fucking-coffee sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running and sends something like sys brewTurns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 seconds before pouring it into a cup The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk xoxx holy sht I'm keeping those I found this on an old Git account Meme

found @ 33 likes ON 2019-04-09 15:02:43 BY ME.ME

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