Hi Hello hello! Lol what's up? All right enough chitchat let's put our cards on the table No I've never swiped right before No none of these pictures are of me Yes I've been on the lamb since '09 I need to know if I can trust you I'm so confused Confused? No Confused was what I was when I walked into that bank brandishing my dads smith and wessun at the ripe young age of 16 The world doesn't forgive Chrissy It's a cold hard bitch What are you trying to get out of this conversation? 3 things A Can you provide asylum? B can you cook? I am lactose intolerant C Do you love me Um I only just met you Listen Chrissy I took a gamble on you I need you to pull through or this could mean the end of the road for me Let's see do you know morse code? Also you're going to need an alias How about Brookfield? WHAT IS HAPPENING I go by the Salamander I am tall and I have black hair and very pale skin I will be wearing a disguise when we meet Look for the signal I will sneeze three times You pretend to take a call I will leave you follow me at a reasonable distance Is this understood Brookfield? Yes? Excellent Our rendezvous will be at this time tomorrow We need to be out of the city by sundown Can you drive stick? No I cannot This really throws a wrench in our plans Brookfield Not to worry 'll drive but be prepared to switch seats in the unlikely event that we are stopped by lavw enforcement Side note food should be prepared when we get back to your quarters before we leave What are you making? I will remind you I'm lactose intolerant I'm still really confused It means l'm allergic to dairy products Please don't use any of them when preparing the meal No I know what lactose intolerant means But what's happening in general It's up to you I'll eat anything as long as there isn't dairy in it not about the food Why are we having this conversation Don't get all philosophical on me Brookfield I need focused sharp as a tack Nimble like a cat None of this existential mumbo jumbo means anything if we don't pull this off you PULL WHAT OFF Are you in or are you out? Meme

found @ 32 likes ON 2019-03-02 21:15:32 BY ME.ME