ass
ass
Fall
Fall
Hail Mary
Hail Mary
head
head
Poop
Poop
Smashing
Smashing
Spider
Spider
Struggle
Struggle
True
True
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tumblr
Video Games
Video Games
Survivor
Survivor
Hulk
Hulk
Holes
Holes
Thank You
Thank You
Big Ass
Big Ass
Black
Black
Blog
Blog
Break
Break
Cross
Cross
Death
Death
Free
Free
Games
Games
Space
Space
Sprint
Sprint
The Middle
The Middle
Time
Time
Today
Today
Trampoline
Trampoline
True Story
True Story
Victorious
Victorious
Video
Video
Glorious
Glorious
Old
Old
Fate
Fate
Back
Back
boys
boys
crawl
crawl
net
net
sun
sun
Dog
Dog
the sun
the sun
gold
gold
monsters
monsters
yes
yes
eye
eye
com
com
the hulk
the hulk
arm
arm
class
class
mass
mass
big
big
behemoth
behemoth
one
one
down
down
play
play
cry
cry
man
man
web
web
will
will
hail
hail
all
all
face
face
huge
huge
shout
shout
make
make
they
they
threads
threads
thing
thing
you
you
story
story
comment
comment
now
now
pure
pure
chance
chance
post
post
foam
foam
strike
strike
for
for
sunlight
sunlight
share
share
reaction time
reaction time
enemy
enemy
spider web
spider web
this man
this man
just in time
just in time
hold
hold
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release
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straight
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used
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look
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more
this
this
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get
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mary
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sure
quick
quick
full
full
well
well
such
such
i almost died today
i almost died today
themetapicture
themetapicture
escape
escape
probably
probably
just
just
enough
enough
battle
battle
fence
fence
realize
realize
break free
break free
pile
pile
sitting
sitting
seen
seen
thank
thank
myself
myself
dazed
dazed
freak out
freak out
so it goes
so it goes
preparing
preparing
worries
worries
enjoying
enjoying
stares
stares
closely
closely
mark
mark
same
same
stare
stare
loud
loud
crap
crap
ever
ever
go to
go to
fist
fist
decisive
decisive
freak
freak
breeding
breeding
destroyed
destroyed
there
there
victim
victim
squirm
squirm
fact
fact
novel
novel
hold up
hold up
almost
 almost
brown
 brown
walk
 walk
no
 no
reaction
 reaction
see
 see
things
 things
hours
 hours
hands
 hands
left
 left
ago
 ago
around
 around
at the same time
 at the same time
in the middle of
 in the middle of
comment share
 comment share
leap
 leap
dont
 dont
eggs
 eggs
legs
 legs
small
 small
sockets
 sockets
my face
 my face
look up
 look up
in time
 in time
there is
 there is
backyard
 backyard
watching
 watching
crawling
 crawling
slaughter
 slaughter
completely
 completely
battle cry
 battle cry
tumblr blog
 tumblr blog
look closely
 look closely
the whole time
the whole time
out
out
over
over
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
And
And
Body
Body
Here
Here
My Chest
My Chest
Both
Both
No Worries
No Worries
Crunch
Crunch
That
That
Chest
Chest
But
But
Blocking
Blocking
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Excellent
Shovel
Shovel
For Me
For Me
Give
Give
Really Old
Really Old
The
The
From
From
Died
Died
You Should
You Should
Bars
Bars
My Dog
My Dog
Take
Take
Starts
Starts
Knocking
Knocking
I Almost Died
I Almost Died
Write
Write
Up Dog
Up Dog
These
These
Looks
Looks
Felt
Felt
Decaying
Decaying
Whole Time
Whole Time
My Hands
My Hands
I Dont
I Dont
In My
In My
Breaks
Breaks
Lest
Lest
Was
Was
With
With
Narrow
Narrow
Middle
Middle
Should
Should
Are
Are
Have
Have
Of My
Of My
Begins
Begins
Goes
Goes
Any Of
Any Of
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A Href
Https
Https
About
About
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Tumblr Com
Between
Between
Has
Has
Against
Against
Begin
Begin
Spider Webbing
Spider Webbing
Big Ass Spider
Big Ass Spider
Halfway
Halfway
Daring
Daring
Thinks
Thinks
Even
Even
Some
Some
Connecting
Connecting
Could
Could
It Goes
It Goes
The Same
The Same
About The
About The
All Legs
All Legs
All Over My Face
All Over My Face
Almost Died
Almost Died
And More
And More
And There
And There
Any
Any
At Me
At Me
But I
But I
Could Be
Could Be
Dog Crap
Dog Crap
Even More
Even More
For The
For The
Give It A Chance
Give It A Chance
Halfway Mark
Halfway Mark
In The
In The
Into
Into
It Is
It Is
It It
It It
Just Sitting
Just Sitting
Mass Of
Mass Of
Me My
Me My
Mostly
Mostly
Out Of
Out Of
Reaches
Reaches
Realizes
Realizes

I almost died today Here is the true story So Iwas derping in my backyard today picking up dog crap The whole time my dog was just sitting there watching me enjoying the sight So I go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence Now if any of you haven't seen my trampoline it is really old and there are these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net but they are mostly destroyed now So I walk in the narrow space and I get completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt All over my face all over my chest and shoulders I freak out but I realize that there is no worries I see no spider and it would have to be a big ass spider to concoct such a glorious web Well sure enough in the middle of my struggle to break free I look up and slowly ever so slowly I see the huge black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out of some old decaying foam protectors I stare at it it stares back I look closely for any threads connecting us and there glinting back at me with sunlight is one strand of spider web connecting the hulk spider to my face It realizes the fact at the same time as me and thinks Yes! This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!! and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me I freak out and begin to struggle even more and more to release myself from this web It reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape so it goes for gold The Hail Mary play A daring leap straight for the head Time slows down This thing has all legs extended blocking out the sun A sure death for me My left arm breaks free from the web This could be my chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time knocking the behemoth against the fence It looks dazed begins to squirm around on the ground preparing for a counteroffensive I don't give it a chance I take the poop shovel in both my hands shout a battle cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled pile each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's bodyI emerge the survivor in this battle Thank you video games for my improved reaction time lest I fall victim to fate Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago you should probably go to TheMetaPicturecom epicjohndoe This Man Should Write A Novel Meme

found @ 31 likes ON 2019-01-12 20:54:59 BY ME.ME

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