I let my daughter dye her hairblue in March, and then offered to let her keep it that way.
She decided to go back to her natural color this year, and chop 4 inches off to get back to her “roots.”
Nothing really changed about my daughter after I let her dye her hair. She still worked hard in school, played on her soccer team, and wanted to hang out with her friends, like any tween likes to do.
But something changed between us. It was a subtle shift, but one that had big impact.
She seemed to be a little more appreciative when I let her do things, and she started helping out around the house a bit more. We seemed to enjoy each other more and the tension lessened.
I am still learning how to do this parenting big kids program, but one thing I know for certain is that tweens and teens need some sort of control over their lives, a chance to become who they are supposed to be through trial and error.
For my daughter, that was sporting blue hair for about six months, and then deciding, on her own, that she wanted something else.
This letting go part of parenting, well it’s just so hard.
But the payoff— when you and your big kid find the sweet spot, the compromise zone, the place where you can grow together—well, that is pretty awesome too.
And don’t tell her, but I almost miss that blue hair.
(via Playdates on Fridays by Whitney Fleming)