is a complicated thing Especially with an older brother Deep down you'l always love him But you can forget that you love him You can hurt them they can hurt you That's not just because you're young You want to know the r reason why I'm here? Sure Where's my suitcase? Miss Young lady! Exouse me Girls! Hey little fella Hey! Exouse me girls Girls! Hey big fella! Help me make the beds in the living room violence with a drunk family member? No! Has he been involved in a houpehold accident? I don't know I hope not Has the child ingested any poison ar is an object lodgad in his throat? e real No he's home alone! I'd like somebody to go over to the house and see if he's all right You want us to go to vour house just to check on him Come on down here! Hey san! Big fella Hey little guy! Litle guy! Pete's brother and his family are here Trish is going to Mantreal Montreal? Oh her family's there - Then we're off I came to hear my granddaughter sing I can't come hear her tonight You have plans? No Yes! Let me connect you to the police I'm not welcome They just transferred me At church? -Rose! You're always woloome at church I'm not welcome with my son Years back before you and your family - Yeah - When? - Нурeг -Hang on -Hold on please moved on the block I had an argument w Tomorrow You're not ready are you? Uncle Frank won't let me - No please don't hang up Please! Any luck? -I couldn't get anybody How old is he? watch the movie He's grown up We lost our tempers and I said but the big kids can Why can't 1? I'm on the phone - Leslie? didn't care to pee him anymore He said the same and we havent Nothing but a bunch of answering machines Somebady pick up Pick up! Oh hi ma'am Ir's you again Look I'm calling from Paris I have a son who's home alone and L We'l send a policeman aver to your house to check on your son There's nobody home When do you come back? spoken to each other since Not till then? f vou miss him why don't H's not even rated R t you call him? He's just being a jerk Kevin if Uncle Frank says no Im afraid if I cll he won't talk to me then it must be really bad No we put the dog in the kennel Hey get of! Kevin out of the room How do you know? I don't know I'm just afraid The house looks secure No offense but aren't you Tell them to count their kids again You can't bump somebody or ask or? There's no way I can do that a little old to be afraid? You can be old for a lot of things Hang up the phone and make me why don't you? This kid Did you pick up a voltage adaptor thing? No I didn't have time - Then how do I shave in France? - Grow a goatee Dad nobodyll let me do anything Ive got something pick up those MicroMachines that are all over You're never too old to be afraid - That's true I was afraid of our basement t's dark There's weird stuff down there and it smells funny That sort of thing- It's bothered me for years Basements are like that I made myself go down to do some laundry and I found out it's not so bad I worried about it but if you turn on the lights it's no big deal What's your point? My point is you should call your son Isn't there a way if you ask somebody? If you said it's an emergency I cannot ask them She's sending a policeman over to the house Well that's a relief Everything here is booked Nothing to Chicago? Aunt Leslie almost broke her neck He was playing There's nothing to Chicago New York Nashville ih the glue gun again We talked about that Did I burn down the joint? I don't think so I made omaments out of fish hooks - My new fish hooks? -I can't make them out of old ones -What about a private plane? - Sorry We don't do that The only thing is a booking for us on Friday morning Friday morn That's two days away The kids are exhausted and so are you There's nothing we can do here I say we go over to Rob's and that way we can call the police again - What if he won't talk to me? -At least you'l know Then you could stop worrying about it with dry worm guts stuck on them - Peter You won't have to be afraid No matter how mad I was I'd talk to Dad Especially around the holidays I don't know Just give it a shot For your granddaughter anyway I'm sure she misses you And the presents I send her a check I wish my grandparents did that They always send me clothes -Come on Kavin Out Do you guys have a voltage adaptor? Here's a voltage adapter! God you're getting haavy! Go pack your suitcase Pack my suitcase? Where's the shampoo? -I don't live here This many people here and no shampoo Are your folks home? - They don't ive here - Tracy did you crder the pizza? I'm not leaving here unless airplane it's on a Madame we are daing everything we can to stay at the airport If you want maybe we can get you an standby It is a possibility that a seat will open up -Is that okay? Last year I got a sv a sweater nl miss you honey Don't you get lost Goodbye I took a shower washing every body pa Including all my major crevices between my toes and in my belly button with a bird knited on it - Buzz did Oh thaf's nice Not for a guy in the second grade You can get beat up for wearing samething like that I have a friend who got nailed because there was a rumor Excuse me Are your parents here? My parents live in Paris -Hi! with actual soap part Hil - Are your parents home? Yeah - Do they live here? -No Why should they? All kids no parents Probably a fancy orphanage I don't know how to pack a suitcasa he wore dinosaur pajamas You better run home where you belong which I never did before but enjayed I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used creme rinse I can't find my toothbrush so l'll pick one up today Other than that Im in good shape All right! Buzz's life savings I thought the Murphys went to Florida You're one of the great cat burglars of the world You think you can keep it Think about what I said - All right? - Okay t's nice talking to you Nice talking to you -What about you? - Me? Ive never done it once - Tough - That's what Megan said What did I say? You told him Tough The dope was whining about a suitcase What was I supposed to say? Congratulations you're an idiot? - I'm not an idiot Yeah You and your son We'l see what happens Merry Christmas Merry Christmas This is my house down a little in there? I have to defend it You've reached the Murphy's Please leave a message after the beep This is Peter McCalister again We're in Paris at my brother's Let me give you the number here The country code is 33 The area code is 1-4 and the number We'l check it out Really? You're helpless! We have to do everything for you - She's right Kev Excuse me puke-breath I'm small I don't know how to pack -I hope you didn't just pack arap - Shut up Linnie We can come back for the truck How do you want to go in? We'l go to the back door Maybe he'll let us in Yeah he's a kid Kids are stupid Bless this nutritious microwaveable is 694-876 - Hey Harry - Yeah? macaroni and cheese dinner -and the people who sold it an sale t get scared now Merry Christmas little fella We know that you're in there and that you're all alone Yeah come on kid Open up H's Santy Claus and his elf We're not gonna hurt you You know what I should pack? Buzz told you cheek-face Toilet paper and water What are you so worried about? You know Mom's gonna This is it Dont That house we ran last night was that the MoCalister's? -Call me in Paris - You're right They're gone -I knew they were -Siver tuna tonight pack your stuff anyway You're what the French call les incompetents Wow How may I help you? Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association? Well I don't know t doesnt say hon What? No no Gat some nice presents for you Be a good little fella now and open the dor Bombs PS Vouaway! S You have to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller If he has something to drink he'll wet the bed What? What? What? Can you please find out? This house is so full of people -Herb What? What happened? -Get that little it makes me sick! Yeah? I got a question here about a toothbrush When I grow up and get married I'm living alone! Did you hear me? I'm living alone! Im living alone! Who's gonna fed your spider? He just ate a load of mice guts He'll be good for a couple weeks Is it true French babes Hello Do you know is this brush approved by the American Dental Association? I don't know Oh hon you pay for that here Wait you have to pay for that Yes! Yes! The little ierk is armed! That's it! I'm going in the front You go down the basement! Oh boy That's it you little Son! Son! You little Jimmy stop that boy! Hey! Shoplifter! Hey! Hey kid! Come back here! No not this time you little brat You little creep where are you? don't shave their pits? Some don't But they gat nude beaches Yes! is head off Not in the winter You're dead kid Stop it will you? Where are you Hary I'm coming in! Oh no! I'm really scared H's too late for you kid we're in the house We're gonna get you Okay come and get me! Why you Now you're dead! f'm gonna kill that kid! Why'd you take your shoes off? Why are you dressed like a chicken? Im up here you morons Don't you know how to knock phlegm-wad? Can I sloep here? I don't want to sleep with Fuller If he drinks hel wet the bed I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass you little creep?! Come here Im a criminal What's so funny? What's so funny? Why are you laughing? You did it again You left the water running Why do you do that? I told you not to do it - I's our calling card - Calling card All the great ones leave their mark We're the wet bandits You're sick you know? You're really sick I'm not sick Check it out Old man Marley Who's he? You ever heard of the South Bend Shovel Slayer? That's him In '58 he murdered his whole family and half the people on his block with a snow shovel Come and get me You guys give up or are you thirsty for more? Heads up! Don't worry n hiding out in this neighborhood ever since If he's the shavel slayer how come the cops don't arrest him? Not enough evidence to convict Thay never found the bodies Everyone around here knows he did it Hli just be a matter of time before he does it again What's he doing? He walks up and down the stroets every night --salting the sidewaks Maybe he's just trying to be nice Ben Marv ril get him for you - Yes you are It's a sick thing to do Yes! He's only a kid Harry - We don't need that - Don't tell me I can do it if i want to It's not sick Hey watch out! Hey! Hey! You've gotta watch for traffic - Sorry We can take him Ah shut up will you? What is it? You're missing some teeth Where? H's my gold tooth My gold tooth I'I kill him - Damn rIl kill him! Santy don't visit the funeral homes buddy Okay okay Merry Christmas What's the matter? I don't like the way that kid looked at me You bomb me with can kid and l snap off your cojones one more a No way See that garbage can ful of salt? That's where he keeps his victims and boil them in motor oil! 911 emergency Hello my house is being robbed My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard My name is Murphy You never know what's up there There he is! I got you! I got him Harry I got him Harry give me a hand! I got him! Harry help me Get up! The salt tums the bodies into mummies Ever seen him before? -I saw a hundred kids this weck Let's see what house he goes into Mummies! Look out! How you kids doing? Why's he going faster? I told you something's wrong He looked at me weird Why would he run? Maybe he went in the church I'm not going in there - Me neither Good? Lot of action around here today huh? Going on vacation? Where you going? I got him What are you doing? Harry don't move Don't move Marv what are you doing? Did I get him? Did I get him?! You hear me or what? Going on a trip? Where you going kid? Okay that's $12250 Not from me kid I don't live here You just around for the holidays? You could say that ** get aut of here When those guys come back ni be ready Did they come back? From Paris? We'll come back tomorrow Pizza's here! Where is it? Where is it? Maybe theyll be gone We better go before somebody soes us - There you go That's $12260 t's my brother's house He'l get it Hey listen -Are you Mr McCallister? Never mind that Here! How do you like it huh? You jerk! Get that kid before L Get that kid Where'd he go? Maybe he committed suicide Down here you big horse's ass! Come get me before I call the police - Lat's get him! -Wait wait t's just what he wants us to do Go back through his fun house so we get all tore up He's gonna call the cops! From a tree house?! Look what I found in the kitchen Frank those are for later Do you want a little shrimp huh? Do you speak English? Well in there - Yeah Did you get anybody? -I am looking for my son! No I can't find anybody They're all shopping Nobody's home for the holidays Never mind forget it - This is so pointless The Mr MoCalister who lives here? Good because somebody owes me $12250 rd ike a word with you Am I under arrest or something? There's always a lot of burglaries around the holidays We're checking the neighborhood to see if the proper precautions are taken We have automatic timers for our lights locks for our doors That's about as well -What? Come on We're here rotting in this apartment Kavin's at home Mom's at the airport Out the window? I'm not going out the window Why you scared? Are you afraid? Come on get aut here as anybody can do Did you get some eggnog? Come on So? -You're not worried about Kevin? Why should I be? He acted ike a jerk and now he caught it in the butt He's so little and halpless Don't you think he's freaked? The trout can use a couple of days Come on Let's eat Come on! Come on -Come on Keep -Eggnog? - Pizza! - Aro you gonna be leaving? Let's go back Harry Hey guys! Check this out in the real world - Pizza! You're not worried something might happen? No For three reasons A I'm not that lucky Grab a napkin Go back Go back and pour your own drinks - Does Santa go through oustoms? What time do we have to go to bed? Early We're leaving at 8 am On the button I hope you're all drinking milk I want to get rid of it -Pizza boy needs $12250 plus fip For pizza? There he is! Hey Im calling the cops! Wait wait! Two We have smoke detectors He wants us to follow him I got a better idea Come on and D We live in the most boring street in the United States where nothing aven remotely dangerous will ever happen Period Hiya pal We outsmarted you this time Get aver herel What are you gorna do Harry? ril do exactly what he did to us Burn his head with a blowtorch Who is it? It's Little Nero's I have your pizza Leave it an the doorstep Ten pizzas times 12 bucks - You've got money Traveler's checks and get out of here l smash his face with an iron rd ike to slap him Forget it Frank We have cash You probably got the checks Okay What about the money? What money? Well you have to pay in the face with a paint can! that dan't work in France Shove a nail through his foot! I'm gonna bite off every one o Did anyone order me a plain cheese? Yeah But if you want any somebody's gonna have to barf it up because it's gone Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi Kevt Kev get a plate - Passports! these little fingers one at a time Come on Let's get you home Wow! This is great Nice move sir Is that a fact? How much do I owe you? That'll be $1180 leaving the water running Now we know each and every house that you've hit We've been looking for you guys for a long time Yeah Well remember we're the Wet Bandits - Wet Bandits that's W-E-T - Shut up! Get in the car! Hev come on Come on Hand off the head pall Keep the change you filthy animal - Cheapskate - Hey I'm gonna give you Watch it! No no Get these passports out of here to the count of ten to get your ugly yellow no-good keister off my property befare I pump you full of lead Are you okay honey? Come hera Ara you all right? What is the matter with you? He ate my pizza on purpose One two ten He knows I hate sausage and olives Alovely cheese pizza just for me To DallasForth Worth Come on Look what you did you little jerk! Get upstairs now Why? I'm a bad parent Im a bad parent American Airlines So we have the $600 No you're not You're such a disease the pocket translator You're beating yourself up there -Shut up! - Kevin upstairs! Say good night Kevin - Good night Kevin Why do I get treated ike sum? Im sorry This house is just orazy „the two first-class seats thaf's an upgrade Is that a real Rolex? These things happen you know You want to talk about bad parents? -Do you think it is? Look at us - No But who can tell? We're on the road 48 49 weaks a year We hardly see our families We've got all these extra kids running around My brother's in from Ohio I also have a ring Oh that is beautiful They're boarding She's offered us two first-class Joe over there Gosh you know he forgets his kids' names half the time How come you didnit bring tickets if we go Friday Plus a ring a watch a pocket translator $500 and The earrings She's got her own earrings he's never oven met his kid more cheese pizzas? Nice tip Thanks Having a reunion? Eddy Let's just hope none of them write a book about him Tell me have you gone on vacation d left your child home? No My husband's brother transferred to Paris His kids are still here He missed the family po he invited us to Paris A whole shoebox full of them -Сome on conте oп But I did leave one at a funeral parlor once No but so we'll be together You're taking a trip to Paris? Yes we leave tomorrow morning Im desperate Yeah it was terble too I'm begging you From a mother to a mother Please! -Oh Ed I was all distraught and everything The wife and I we left the little Excellent Excellent tyke there in the funeral pario All day You know we went f you'll excuse me this one's -Please! Oh all right Dear Santa I got a ittle sister last year This vear Fd rather have a little out of sorts back at night when we Don't worry about me I spoke to your husband And don't worry about your home Il's in good hands There are 15 people and only you came to our senses there he was Apparently he was there all day with a corpse some Clay-Doh I didn't mean it If you come back Pll never be a pain in the butt again I promise Good night I'm dreaming Of a white Now he was okay You know afer six seven weeks He came around and started talking again They get over it have to make trouble I'm getting dumped on You're the only one acting up Now get upstairs I am upstairs dummy! Kids are resilient ike that The third floor? Christmas We shouldn't talk about this I was just trying to cheer you up I'm sorry I did Mom? -Go Just like the ones Iused to know -If's scary up there Fulerli be up in I don't want to sleep with Fuller Where those treetops glisten And children listen Mom? To hear sleigh bells In the snow He wets the bed Kevin! He'll pee all over me I know it We'l put him somewhere else Merry Christmas sweetheart Oh Kevin I'm so sorry The snow Im sorry t's too late Get upstairs Everyone in this family hates me! Then ask Santa for a new family I don't want a new family I don't want any family Families suck! Stay up there I don't want to see you again tonight I don't want to see you for the rest of my life Are those microwave dinnors good? I don't know Where's everybaody else? Oh baby they couldn't oome They wanted to so much I didn't fal asleep in the back and drool all over you did 1? Pl give them a whirl Hold on I got a coupon for that It was in the paper this moming $1983 - You do drool! -Shut up! Kevin my boy How are you? You're all right I love you You okay? t's cool that you didn't Okay Are you here all Ma'am I'm 8 years old yourself? I don't want to see anybody else either I hope you don't mean that You'd feel pretty sad if you wake up and didn't have a family No I wouldn't Then say it again Maybe itll happen I hope I never see any of you jerks again! I wish they would all just disappear Where are thay'? -I don't know She said 8 sharp You think I'd be here alone? I don't think so Where's your mom? In the car Where's your dad? -He's at work What about brothers and sisters? burn the place down Thanks Buzz Wait a minute How'd you guys get hame? On the moming flight you didn't Oh no Oh! Thank you - Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Someone has to find an open store I went shopping yesterday You shapping? I got some milk eggs I'm an only child Where do you live? -I can't tell you Why not? -Cause you're a Hello Kevin! Peter! Shut up! I don't get it It looks like there's nabody's home Last night the place is jumping Something ain't right We slept in! Hi I'm Mitch Murphy Live across the street You guys going out of town? We're going to Flarida Well first we're going to Missouri to pick up my grandma and fabric softener What? - No kidding? What a funny guy What else did you do while we were away? Just hung around Bring your stuff upstairs He went shopping? He doesn't know haw to tie his shoe He's going shopping? Honey what's this? Kevinl What did you do to my room? Go check it aut Now? No tomorrow egghead! Now! Go ahead You know the McCallisters are going to France? Do you know if it's cold? - Do these vans get good mileage? - Kid I don't know Hit the road! Now Shit! Get the hell out of here All right Johnny But what about my money? What money? Do a head count Get everyone in the vans Where are the passports? I put them in the microwave to dry How fast does this go? AC Said you had some dough for me Is that a fact? How much do I owe you? AC Said ten percent Too bad AC Ain't in charge no more What do you mean? Does it have automatic transmission? Does it have 4-wheel drive? Look I told you before kid Don't bother me Now beat it! Line up in front of the van Line up and shut up! He's upstairs taking a bath He'll call you when he gets out Hey I tell you what I'm gonna give you - Snakes? Wow! Shut up! One two three Eleven 92 12 - Pl give you to the count of ten to get your ugly yellow no-good keister off my property before I pump you full of lead All right Johnny I'm sorry Im going Buzz don't be a moron Six seven eight rine 10 11 Okay half in this van half in this one Let's go Have a good trip Bring me back something Franch There's no way we'll make this plane One two ten Keep the change you fithy animal What happened? I don't know who but somebody just got blown away Somebady beat us they're in there It leaves in 45 minutes Think positive! You be positive Il be reaistic Excuse me your power is fixed but the phones are a mess HIl take a couple of days to fix especially around the holidays Two of them There was arguing One blew the other one away -Thanks - Who? I don't know I recognized one of their voices I heard that name Snakes before Did you count heads? Eleven including me Five boys six girls fwo drivers Snakes? Snakes Snakes I don't know no Snakes Snakes Lefs get aut of here and a partridge in a pear tree Hold the plane! -Did we miss it? You just made i Single seats only in conch Take whatever's fre Hold it Hold it Let's wait and see who it is We work this neighborhood too Suppose the cops finger us for a job and they ask us about I get a window seat! Kids are in coach we're first class -Seats Four A and B Four A and D ril take your coats a murder in the area Wouldn't it be nice to have Fasten your seat belts -Champagne please -If's free isn'Y it? Oh yes We made it Do you believe it? Hope we didn't forget anything a face to go with it? That's a good idoa Of course it's a good idea Snakes? He sounded ike a snake Everything's ful Everything's ful? Im very sorry but Mom? That's real It's real crystal Yeah so? Put them in your purse Frank I can't do that Just Put them in your pursel Yeah Fil it up Fill it up Fill it up please Thank you Don't you feel like a heel flying first class with the kids in ooach? No The kids are fine it is Christmas Eve What about another airline? Nothing available May I help you get a hotel room? Tomorrow we can get you a fight I can't wait that long Im sorry ma'am but we're doing absolutely everything we can Im in your way I'm sorry You've places to ga Got a ticket there good Excuse me Look I have been awake for almost 60 hours The only time I ever f in the station wagon not to France We had to go to Aunt Laura I'm tired and I'm dirty I have been from Chicago to Paris to Dallas to Where am 1? and Uncle Arthur's Kids are okay They're having Scranton I'm trying to get hame to my 8-yearald san the time of their lives Hello? Mom? Now you're telling me it's hopeless? Dad? m sorry Where are you guys? Buzz? Megan? Hello? No No way This is Christmas! The season of perpetual hope IHI have to get on your rumway and hitchhike Rod? Unole Frank? Unale Frank is this a joke? Megan? Linnie? Is this a joka? H's anly my imagination Only my imagination if it costs me averything I own if I have to sel my soul to the Devil himself I am going to get home to my son Ma'am there was anything Do it Do anything -I can get you a hotel room What? Can you excuse us for a sec? Can I see you for a second please? The cars are still here They didn't go to the airport! I made my family disappear You're completely helples You know Kevin you're what the French caI les incompetents Kevin I'm going to feed you to my tarantula Kevin you are such a disease There are 15 people and you're the only or Excuse us You got a little bit of a dilemma We got a crisis ourselves Allow me to introduce myself Gus Polinski Polka King of the Midwest? The Kenosha Kickers? trouble -Hi there - Hiya That's okay I thought you might have recognized I had a few hits a few years ago That's why I just Polka Polka Polka? Polka polka polka Twin Lakes Polika? Yamahoozie Polka aka Look what you did you little jerk! I made my family disappear Im free! Wow! No clathes on anybody Sickening! Coll Firecrackers! fll save these for later Buzz I'm going through all your private stuff You better come out and pound me! Buzz your girlfriend! Woof! Wha is it? ts me Snakes I got the Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out of here All right Johnny but what about my monay? What money? AC Said you had some dough for me Kiss Me Polka? Polka Twist? These are songs? Yeah Yeah we Some fairly big hits for us You know in the earty 80s e sold about 623 copies of that -In Chicago? - No Shebaygan Very big in Shebaygan Did you say you could help? Anyway I'm rambling on here Our flight was canceled so we're gonna drive See the guy in the yellow jacket over there? He's gonna rent us a nice big van to drive to Milwaukee Now I heard you had some problems getting to Chicago? To see your kid or something? Uh my son He Is that a fact? How much do I owe you? AC Said ten percent Too bad AC Ain't in charge no more Guys I'm eating junk and watching rubbisht You batter come out and stop me! He'l call you when he gets out il tell you what I'm gonna give you I We left and he's there m gonna give you to If you have to get to Chicago we'll gladly drive you It's on the way to Milwaukee - You'd give me a ride? - Sure why not? You've got to get home -A ride to Chicaga? - Sure its Christmastime Thank you Oh thank you You don't mind going with polka bums? No 'd love to the count of ten et your ugly yellow no-good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead All right I'm sorry I'm going One two ten Keep the change you fithy animal Hey Marv Marv Marv Mom! What's the matter? Honey? I have a terrible feeling About what? Look at this I think we're getting scammed by a kindergartner Dad can you come here and help me? That we didn't do something You feel that way because we left in a hurry We took care ol Remember that kid we saw the other day? He lives here af everything Al bum off the coffee? Did If the kid's here the parent's got to be I did Did you lock up? He's home alone What? You want to come Yeah back tonight? Even with the kid here? I don't think thaf's a good idea Did you alose the garage? That's it I forgat to dose the garage That house is the reason we worked this block Ever since I saw that house That's it No that's not it I wanted it Let's take it one step at a time We'l unload the van get a bite to eat we'l coma back about 900 Nine o'clock This way it's dark then Yeah kids are scared of the dark You're afraid of the dark too You know you are No I'm not What else could wo be forgetting? Kevin! The captain's doing all he can Your phones are out of order Wel call when we land Im sure it's okay Нorible Horrible Just horrible How could we do this? We forgot him We didn't forget him we just miscounted -Yes you are Not not not You are so Mom where are you? Do you play? Do you want to try? Go ahead try it Try it! What kind of mother am 1? If it makes you feel any better I forgot my reading glasses ve families gone an one block alone They all told me from their own mouths - Excuse me - Yeah? Hey nice shoes H's almost too easy Oh thanks Is he still here? It's really Check it out Al the houses with nobody home have automatic timers an their lights important that I sea him He's getting in his car If you hurry you can catch him How low! Giving Kriss Kningie a parking ticket on Christmas Eve! What's next rabies shots But I got it all figured out Watch this Number 064 will be going on right about for the Easter Bunny? Wait wait wait Santa hold on -Can I talk to you for a minute? Number 682 right now Wait a minute -Quickly Santa's running late I know you're not now the real Santa And that's the one Marvin Claus Huh what makes you say that? Just out of curiosity - I'm old enough to know how it works Al right But I also know you work for him That's the silver tuna It's very G Very G huh? Ifs loaded It's got lats of tap-fight goods - Stereos VCRS - Toys? Probably looking at some very fine jewelry Possible cash harde - l'd ike you to give him a mossage - Shoot Kevin McCallister 681 Do you need the phone number? No that's all right This is extremely important Please tell him instead of presents I just want my family back No toys Nathing but Pater Kate Buzz Mogan Linnie and Jeff And my aunt and my cousins And if he has time my Uncle Frank Okay? Okay - Pl see what I can do 81 Lincoln Blvd Odd marketable securities Who knows? It's a gem Grab your crowbar Crowbars up You're a rotter Mr Grinch You're the king Of sinful sots Your heart's a dead tomato Blotched with moldy purple spots Mr Grinch Thanks Wait My elf took the last of the candy canes home to her boyfriend - That's okay - No don't be silly Everybody who sees Santa has got to get something Here hold out your little paw there There you go - Don't spoil your dinner -I won't Which way? We'l go around back down the basement -You said they were gone - Thay were gonna leave today Let's get out of hera We have to use the phone please H's an emergency We really have to make a call Please! Our brother's home alone Give us the phone! I'm sorry Thank you I'm calling the police Book us a fight home Thanks Son of a! Merry Christmas May I sit down? That's my granddaughter The little red-haired girl She's about your age Get change out of here ाक Call everybody you know Here's my address book You and Frank call everyone on our street Maybe somebody can help us Hello? Hello? Oh she'll have to call you back This is ridiculaus Only a wimp would be hiding under a bed And I can't be a wimp I'm the man of the house Hey Im not afraid anymore! I said I'm not afraid anymore! Do you hear me? I'm not afraid anymore Village police department I'm calling from Paris I have a son who's home alone rd ike somebody to go there Tell him that we're coming home to get him Okay lat me connect you with Family Crisis Intervention You know her? No You live next to me don't you? You can say helo when you see me You dan't have to be afraid There's a lot of things going around about me but none of it's true Okay? -You've been good this year? I think so You swear to it? No Yeah Well this is the place to be if you're feeling bad about yourself -It is? -I think so Are you feeling bad about yourself? -No Ive been kind of a pain lately I said some things I shouldn't have I really haven't been Hold on Larry can you pick up? There's some hyper lady on hold - What line Rose? - Twa Family Crisis Intervention Sergeant Balzac I'm calling from Paris I have a son who's home alone too good this year Yeah Im kind of upset because I really ike my family Even though sametimes I say I don't Sometimes I even think I don't Do you get that? I think so How you feel about family Has the child been involved in There will be no Christmas without Home alone Meme

found ON 2019-12-27 00:08:36 BY ME.ME

source: reddit