It is deeply saddening to report that gospel-singer-turned-filmstar Justin Timberlake has slipped into a vicious cycle of mariguana abuse.
Being the Christ-like figure that I am, I decided to fly out to his home to give him an emergency baptism, kindly funded by the Church collection box for disabled children (we are all children of God). After climbing through an open window, there was a very humourous misunderstanding between me and the police which somehow culminated in my arrest at 3:30am. Between getting through the window and reaching his bedroom, most of my clothes had mysteriously disappeared, and silly words like 'aggravated sexual assault' were being thrown around by Justin's solicitors.
The fact that these ridiculous charges are being levelled against me just goes to show how drug-addled his brain has become - please join me Christians in REBUKING his addiction and #MakeJustinChristianAgain !!! - Agnes x
found @ 3435 likes ON 2016-11-02 06:37:58 BY ME.ME