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America
America

Lou Ohio I need to get my life off my chest About me I'm a 46 year old banker and I have been living my whole life the opposite of how I wanted All my dreams my passion gone In a steady 9-7 job 6 days a week For 26 years I repeatedly chose the safe path for everything which eventually changed who I was Today I found out my wife has been cheating on me for the last 10 years My son feels nothing for me I realised I missed my father's funeral FOR NOTHING I didn't complete my novel travelling the world helping the homeless All these things I thought I knew to be a certainty about myself when i was in my late teens and early twenties If my younger self had met me today I would have punched myself in the face I'll get to how those dreams were crushed soon Let's start with a description of me when I was 20 It seemed only yesterday when I was sure I was going to change the world People loved me and I loved people I was innovative creative spontaneous risk taking and great with people I had two dreams The first was writing a utopicdystopic book The second was travelling the world and helping the poor and homeless I had been dating my wife for four years by then Young love She loved my spontaneity my energy my ability to make people laugh and feel loved I knew my book was going to change the world I would show the perspective of the 'bad' and the twisted' showing my viewers that everybody thinks differently that people never think what the do is wrong I was 70 pages through when i was 20I am still 70 pages in at 46 By 20 I had backpacking around New Zealand and the Philippines I planned to do all of Asia then Europe then America To date I have only been to New Zealand and the Philippines Now we get to where it all went wrong My biggest regrets I was 20 I was the only child I needed to be stable I needed to take that graduate job which would dictate my whole life To devote my entire life in a 9-7 job What was I thinking? How could I live when the job was my life? After coming home I would eat dinner prepare my work for the following day and sleep at 10pm to wake up at 6am the following day God I can't remember the last time I've made love to my wife Yesterday my wife admitted to cheating on me for the last 10 years 10 years That seems like a long time but i can't comprehend it It doesn't even hurt She says it's because I've changed I'm not the person l was What have I been doing in the last 10 years? Outside of work I really can't say anything Not being a proper husband Not being ME Who am 1? What happened to me? I didn't even ask for a divorce or yell at her or cry I felt NOTHING Now I can feel a tear asl write this But not because my wife has been cheating on me but because I am now realising I have been dying inside What happened to that fun-loving risk taking energetic person that was me hungering to change the world? I remember being asked on a date by the most popular girl in the school but declining her for my now-wife God I was really popular with the girls in high school In universitycollege too But i stayed loyal I didn't explore I studied every day Remember all that backpacking and book-writingI told you about? That was all in the first few years of college I worked part-time and splurged all that I had earned Now I save every penny I don't remember a time I spend anything on anything fun On anything for myself What do I even want now? My father passed ten years ago I remember getting calls from mom telling me he was getting sicker and sicker I was getting busier and busier on the verge of a big promotion I kept putting my visit off hoping in my mind he would hold on He died and I got my promotion I haven't seen him in 15 years When he died I told myself it didn't matter what I didn't see him I rationalized that being dead it wouldn't matter anyway WHAT WAS I THINKING? Rationalizing everything making excuses to put things off Excuses Procrastination It all leads to one thing nothing I rationalized that financial security was the most important thingInow know that it definitely is not I regret doing nothing with my energy when I had it My passions My youth I regret letting my job take over my life I regret being an awful husband a money- making machine I regret not finishing my novel not travelling the world Not being emotionally there for my son Being a damn emotionless wallet If you're reading this and you have a whole life ahead of you please Don't procrastinate Don't leave your dreams for later Relish in your energy your passions Don't stay on the internet with all your spare time unless your passion needs it Please do something with your life while you're young DO NOT settle down at 20 DO NOT forget your friends your family Yourself Do NOT waste your life Your ambitions Like I did mine Do not be like me srsfunny A Sad But Common Story Meme

found @ 37 likes ON 2019-02-22 05:52:21 BY ME.ME

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