m4ge walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god i ask for no whip cream avantgaye you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso also no whip and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and saidi have 5 kids witchcraft-with-space-bean I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso The drink took ages It held up the line I asked her why and she shrugged and said I just don't care We still talk about that woman We never saw her again anais-ninja-blog new cryptid exhausted woman at starbucks katjohnadams Actual conversation Ihad at register Hi welcome to StarbucksI What can I get you today? How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso? -I'm sorry? A venti cup How much to fill it with Espresso? Oh uh Well it'd be I supposeI only have a button for a Quad I don't have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single drink Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now How many 'add shots' is that? deep breath of fear* td be a quad with clears throat uh sixteen additional shots of espresso But ma'am I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them- Taste means nothing to me At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being Oh Well okay put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon fae or demon with dignity We can certainly get that for you! The price will be She begins to pay I shit thee not with golden dollar coins We are a block from Wall Street and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins My life will end soon I am sure of it Do you still have the Add Energy' packets? My heart began to race at this request Yes ma am How many can I add? Futile though it is at least I know the rote response to this For health reasons we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individualy One then I alter the order and tell her the new price She pays dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station Normally we called and pass but this wasnot something to be spoken aloud My fellow takes the cup not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol until she sees the order She stares at me No The woman which I call her for no other greater insight into her territying being is within my grasp simply stands on the other side and says calmly but with a commanding tone lexpect of Admirals in bad movies Yes My fellow barista pales before her task But we are dutiful we are true to our task great though it may be She sets about clearing the two brand nevw Matrena's of all distraction and sets two tall cups in the ready position The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup and the shots begin pouring The barista was damn near shaking This woman's gaze felt like the tires of the sun Finally the shots are pulled the cup is filled and the hand off takes place Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream Satisfied she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup Then she smiled at us like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy And horror She left and we knew nothing more of her after that When I talk with other former employees we quickly begin talking about The Company as if we'd never I perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine And when I share this stroy other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus Yeah I had one like that smartassjen Okay Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature Please collect all these and more into a book A modern day coffee shop cryptid Meme

found @ 28 likes ON 2019-03-01 02:08:52 BY ME.ME