Bad
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Energy
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fae
fae
God
God
Life
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movies
movies
Saw
Saw
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shit
Soon...
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Sorry
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Starbucks
True
True
whip
whip
yeah
yeah
Best
Best
Blog
Blog
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Break
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Coffee
Girl
Girl
Heart
Heart
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Kids
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Ninja
Okay
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Awesome
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Change
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 pumpkin spice latte
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 pumpkin spice
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 literature
whip cream
 whip cream
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 don't care
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 must have
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 hand off
dollars
 dollars
again
 again
coins
 coins
tall
 tall
pass
 pass
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 dont
task
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cup
 cup
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 two
like that
 like that
much
 much
said
 said
drink
 drink
say
 say
place
 place
want
 want
left
 left
know
 know
ready
 ready
come
 come
my life
 my life
wall
 wall
something
 something
care
 care
called
 called
no
 no
walk
 walk
welcome
 welcome
dollop
dollop
ounces
ounces
reasons
reasons
began
began
line
line
actual
actual
venti
venti
yes ma am
yes ma am
perhaps
perhaps
thee
thee
eldritch
eldritch
rote
rote
lore
lore
terrible
terrible
milk bar
milk bar
existence
existence
talking
talking
dignity
dignity
stares
stares
i just
i just
the hand
the hand
as if
as if
pouring
pouring
my heart
my heart
shaking
shaking
knew
knew
maam
maam
distraction
distraction
incomprehensible
incomprehensible
gaze
gaze
certainly
certainly
wait
wait
end
end
exhausted
exhausted
finally
finally
then
then
anything
anything
though
though
just
just
futile
futile
hand
hand
breath
breath
eyes
eyes
damn
damn
well
well
button
button
do you
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nothing
dead
dead
right
right
sure
sure
like
like
thinking
thinking
great
great
i know
i know
please
please
im sorry
im sorry
shocked
shocked
really
really
get
get
this
this
alter
alter
more
more
side
side
customer
customer
bitter
bitter
right now
right now
street
street
tone
tone
throat
throat
quad
quad
block
block
presence
presence
coffee shop
coffee shop
machine
machine
share
share
for
for
order
order
still
still
five
five
genre
genre
protocol
protocol
what
what
price
price
customer service
customer service
americano
americano
now
now
modern
modern
demi
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call
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you
you
transcend
transcend
new
new
thing
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they
they
service
service
terror
terror
face
face
first
first
bean
bean
all
all
them
them
woman
woman
hot
hot
did
did
accept
accept
she
she
will
will
why
why
day
day
health
health
latte
latte
means
means
knowing
knowing
mø
mø
may
may
insight
insight
hide
hide
bar
bar
witchcraft
witchcraft
down
down
tires
tires
one
one
spice
spice
can
can
shop
shop
soul
soul
espresso
espresso
milk
milk
demon
demon
deep
deep
once
once
horror
horror
wall street
wall street
cream
cream
act
act
box
box
company
company
working
working
yes
yes
brand
brand
add
add
the sun
the sun
sun
sun
cryptid
cryptid
her
her
ask
ask
dragon
dragon
joy
joy
powers
powers
corporate
corporate
how
how
Been
Been
Anais
Anais
Single
Single
Sixteen
Sixteen
Race
Race
Oh Well
Oh Well
Never
Never
Mind Right
Mind Right
Mind
Mind
Humanity
Humanity
Fear
Fear
Change
Change
Awesome
Awesome
Barista
Barista
Today
Today
Space
Space
Smile
Smile
Pumpkin
Pumpkin
Okay
Okay
Ninja
Ninja
Kids
Kids
Indeed
Indeed
Heart
Heart
Girl
Girl
Coffee
Coffee
Break
Break
Book
Book
Blog
Blog
Best
Best
yeah
yeah
whip
whip
True
True
Starbucks
Starbucks
Sorry
Sorry
Soon...
Soon...
shit
shit
Saw
Saw
movies
movies
Life
Life
God
God
fae
fae
Energy
Energy
Bad
Bad

m4ge walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god i ask for no whip cream avantgaye you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso also no whip and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and saidi have 5 kids witchcraft-with-space-bean I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso The drink took ages It held up the line I asked her why and she shrugged and said I just don't care We still talk about that woman We never saw her again anais-ninja-blog new cryptid exhausted woman at starbucks katjohnadams Actual conversation Ihad at register Hi welcome to StarbucksI What can I get you today? How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso? -I'm sorry? A venti cup How much to fill it with Espresso? Oh uh Well it'd be I supposeI only have a button for a Quad I don't have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single drink Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now How many 'add shots' is that? deep breath of fear* td be a quad with clears throat uh sixteen additional shots of espresso But ma'am I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them- Taste means nothing to me At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being Oh Well okay put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon fae or demon with dignity We can certainly get that for you! The price will be She begins to pay I shit thee not with golden dollar coins We are a block from Wall Street and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins My life will end soon I am sure of it Do you still have the Add Energy' packets? My heart began to race at this request Yes ma am How many can I add? Futile though it is at least I know the rote response to this For health reasons we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individualy One then I alter the order and tell her the new price She pays dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station Normally we called and pass but this wasnot something to be spoken aloud My fellow takes the cup not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol until she sees the order She stares at me No The woman which I call her for no other greater insight into her territying being is within my grasp simply stands on the other side and says calmly but with a commanding tone lexpect of Admirals in bad movies Yes My fellow barista pales before her task But we are dutiful we are true to our task great though it may be She sets about clearing the two brand nevw Matrena's of all distraction and sets two tall cups in the ready position The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup and the shots begin pouring The barista was damn near shaking This woman's gaze felt like the tires of the sun Finally the shots are pulled the cup is filled and the hand off takes place Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream Satisfied she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup Then she smiled at us like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy And horror She left and we knew nothing more of her after that When I talk with other former employees we quickly begin talking about The Company as if we'd never I perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine And when I share this stroy other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus Yeah I had one like that smartassjen Okay Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature Please collect all these and more into a book A modern day coffee shop cryptid Meme

found @ 28 likes ON 2019-03-01 02:08:52 BY ME.ME

source: tumblr