America, Apparently, and Bad: mothman
 @LEVKAWA
 how to tell when a bilingual character was
 not written by a bilingual person 101
 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said.
 "Uh...what?"
 "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's
 up?" He corrected
kalidels:

misdiagnosed-ghost:

rrojasandribbons:

cobaltmoony:

silentwalrus1:

justgot1:

cricketcat9:

artykyn:

prideling:

gunvolt:
im going to have a stroke
Instead try…Person A: You know… the thingPerson B: The “thing”?Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD

As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:
Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”
Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”

I use Spanish and English daily, none is my native language. When I’m tired or did not have enough sleep I loose track of who to address in which language;  I caught myself explaining something in Spanish to my English-speaking friends more than once. When I’m REALLY tired I’ll throw some Polish words in the mix. 

There is nothing more painful than bad fake Spanglish by an American writer. Bilingual people don’t just randomly drop words in nonsensical places in their sentences ffs. “I’m muy tired! I think I’ll go to my cama and go to sleep!“ Nobody does that.
From my bilingual parents:
- Only being able to do math in their original language. “Ok so that would beeeeee … *muttering* ocho por cuatro menos tres…”
- Losing words and getting mad at you about it. “Gimme the - the - UGH, ESA COSA AHI’ CARAJO. The thing, the oven mitt. Christ.”
- Making asides to you in Spanish even though you’ve told them to not do this as lots of people here speak Spanish. “Oye, mira esa, que cara fea.” “MOM FFS WE’RE IN A MEXICAN NEIGHBORHOOD.”
- Swears in English don’t count.
- Swears in Spanish mean you’d better fucking run, kid.
- Introducing you to English-only Americans using your Spanish name so that they mispronounce your name for all eternity because that’s what your mom said your name was. “Hi Dee-yanna!” “sigh, Just call me Diana.” “Yeah but your mom said your name was Dee-yanna.” 
- Your parents give you a name that only makes sense in Spanish. “Your name is Floor?” “No, my name is Flor.” “FLOOR?” “Sigh.”

 - conjugating English words with Russian grammar and vice versa. Sometimes both at once, which is extra fun. 
самолет - 
самолетас - 

самолетасы
- when vice versa, dropping English articles entirely. The, a, an: all gone. e.g. “I go to store and buy thing, I fix car and go to place.” This also happens when i am very tired 
- speaking English with heavy accent you don’t actually have - when my family and I are switching over fast, we say the English words in a very heavy Russian accent that mostly doesn’t show up otherwise 
bonus: 
- keysmashing in the wrong language when your keyboard is still switched over
- using ))))) instead of :))) or other culture-specific emoji/typing quirks

all of the above

OMG. THIS. 
-switching from Romanes to English and forgetting that articles exist because Romanes doesn’t always use them-starting to say a word in one language and trying to smoothly transition it to another language: n…oooooo, thank you is probably my most common-using English profanity when speaking Romanes-using Romanes profanity when speaking English.. that’s how you know I am angry-the over extension of the word “not” in English that comes out something like this; “I have not cash on me”.-counting in my head in Romanes always, but math always in English, which might explain my bad math skills-drunk accents.. I have a heavy accent when drunk.. and only when drunk-substituting Romani words when trying to speak in Serbian even when the other speaker is bilingual in English-aspirating English phonemes that are not meant to be aspirated -accidentally pronouncing the English “i” sounds as “ee”.. I have a dog named Snickers and everyone thinks her name is Sneakers-describing objects in detail, but forgetting the actual name of it in your target language; dzhanes, ‘odaji glazhuni.. thaj zhamija si ‘oda.. ejjjjj.. dikhes perdal oda.. ejjjj.. ekh… feljastra! Ekh feljastra! -”the thing” in both languages.. -except e buki also means “the work”, and o kasavo mean “such”, or “like this”, so in English I mean to say “the thing”, but I really say “the this, you know, this, this, this, the thingy.” But, it sounds like, “da dis, you know, dis, dis, dis, da tingy.”-subject verb agreement doesn’t exist when switching languages; ^^see above.. that was not an intentional mistake-“is mine” to mean “I have”; “Dog is mine” = “I have a dog”
I could keep going.. but, yea, bilingual quirks are waaaay better and funnier when you actually understand how they work and the grammar quirks of both target languages. 

I always fucking forget the word “chess”???? And I sit there saying шахматы over and over to myself until I finally remember it in English.

blunders also happen when they have to note down something real quick or take lectures! my notes when I was in Italy for my exchange year are incomprehensible to basically everyone lmao it’s a huge jumble of thai, english, and italian. because sometimes it’s easier to just write down a concept in english rather than have to translate it back to your native language!
also while I was there I spent a day with an american friend and when we were saying goodbye to each other this literally happened: “well have a safe trip home!! I’ll see you….. um…. dopo… dopo.. dopo.. LATER! LATER!! I’LL SEE YOU LATER”

kalidels: misdiagnosed-ghost: rrojasandribbons: cobaltmoony: silentwalrus1: justgot1: cricketcat9: artykyn: prideling: gunvolt: im going to have a stroke Instead try…Person A: You know… the thingPerson B: The “thing”?Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed: Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!” Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.” I use Spanish and English daily, none is my native language. When I’m tired or did not have enough sleep I loose track of who to address in which language;  I caught myself explaining something in Spanish to my English-speaking friends more than once. When I’m REALLY tired I’ll throw some Polish words in the mix.  There is nothing more painful than bad fake Spanglish by an American writer. Bilingual people don’t just randomly drop words in nonsensical places in their sentences ffs. “I’m muy tired! I think I’ll go to my cama and go to sleep!“ Nobody does that. From my bilingual parents: - Only being able to do math in their original language. “Ok so that would beeeeee … *muttering* ocho por cuatro menos tres…” - Losing words and getting mad at you about it. “Gimme the - the - UGH, ESA COSA AHI’ CARAJO. The thing, the oven mitt. Christ.” - Making asides to you in Spanish even though you’ve told them to not do this as lots of people here speak Spanish. “Oye, mira esa, que cara fea.” “MOM FFS WE’RE IN A MEXICAN NEIGHBORHOOD.” - Swears in English don’t count. - Swears in Spanish mean you’d better fucking run, kid. - Introducing you to English-only Americans using your Spanish name so that they mispronounce your name for all eternity because that’s what your mom said your name was. “Hi Dee-yanna!” “sigh, Just call me Diana.” “Yeah but your mom said your name was Dee-yanna.”  - Your parents give you a name that only makes sense in Spanish. “Your name is Floor?” “No, my name is Flor.” “FLOOR?” “Sigh.”  - conjugating English words with Russian grammar and vice versa. Sometimes both at once, which is extra fun.  самолет -  самолетас -  самолетасы - when vice versa, dropping English articles entirely. The, a, an: all gone. e.g. “I go to store and buy thing, I fix car and go to place.” This also happens when i am very tired  - speaking English with heavy accent you don’t actually have - when my family and I are switching over fast, we say the English words in a very heavy Russian accent that mostly doesn’t show up otherwise  bonus:  - keysmashing in the wrong language when your keyboard is still switched over - using ))))) instead of :))) or other culture-specific emoji/typing quirks all of the above OMG. THIS.  -switching from Romanes to English and forgetting that articles exist because Romanes doesn’t always use them-starting to say a word in one language and trying to smoothly transition it to another language: n…oooooo, thank you is probably my most common-using English profanity when speaking Romanes-using Romanes profanity when speaking English.. that’s how you know I am angry-the over extension of the word “not” in English that comes out something like this; “I have not cash on me”.-counting in my head in Romanes always, but math always in English, which might explain my bad math skills-drunk accents.. I have a heavy accent when drunk.. and only when drunk-substituting Romani words when trying to speak in Serbian even when the other speaker is bilingual in English-aspirating English phonemes that are not meant to be aspirated -accidentally pronouncing the English “i” sounds as “ee”.. I have a dog named Snickers and everyone thinks her name is Sneakers-describing objects in detail, but forgetting the actual name of it in your target language; dzhanes, ‘odaji glazhuni.. thaj zhamija si ‘oda.. ejjjjj.. dikhes perdal oda.. ejjjj.. ekh… feljastra! Ekh feljastra! -”the thing” in both languages.. -except e buki also means “the work”, and o kasavo mean “such”, or “like this”, so in English I mean to say “the thing”, but I really say “the this, you know, this, this, this, the thingy.” But, it sounds like, “da dis, you know, dis, dis, dis, da tingy.”-subject verb agreement doesn’t exist when switching languages; ^^see above.. that was not an intentional mistake-“is mine” to mean “I have”; “Dog is mine” = “I have a dog” I could keep going.. but, yea, bilingual quirks are waaaay better and funnier when you actually understand how they work and the grammar quirks of both target languages.  I always fucking forget the word “chess”???? And I sit there saying шахматы over and over to myself until I finally remember it in English. blunders also happen when they have to note down something real quick or take lectures! my notes when I was in Italy for my exchange year are incomprehensible to basically everyone lmao it’s a huge jumble of thai, english, and italian. because sometimes it’s easier to just write down a concept in english rather than have to translate it back to your native language! also while I was there I spent a day with an american friend and when we were saying goodbye to each other this literally happened: “well have a safe trip home!! I’ll see you….. um…. dopo… dopo.. dopo.. LATER! LATER!! I’LL SEE YOU LATER”

America
America
apparently
apparently
Bad
Bad
Baked
Baked
confused
confused
Drunk
Drunk
Emoji
Emoji
fake
fake
family
family
Friends
Friends
Fucking
Fucking
go to sleep
go to sleep
head
head
LMAO
LMAO
omg
omg
Parents
Parents
Run
Run
Sneakers
Sneakers
Sorry
Sorry
Spanish
Spanish
Target
Target
tumblr
tumblr
yeah
yeah
Work
Work
American
American
Blog
Blog
Brain
Brain
Common
Common
Ghost
Ghost
Home
Home
How To
How To
Http
Http
Keyboard
Keyboard
Math
Math
Mean
Mean
Quiet
Quiet
Quite
Quite
Translate
Translate
Translation
Translation
Word
Word
Angry
Angry
English
English
French
French
Italy
Italy
Mad
Mad
Mexican
Mexican
Russian
Russian
Serbian
Serbian
Eternity
Eternity
Knowledge
Knowledge
Profanity
Profanity
Silence
Silence
Sleep
Sleep
Spanglish
Spanglish
Mom
Mom
Fishing
Fishing
All of The
All of The
Back
Back
Blank
Blank
how
how
got
got
vice
vice
the thing
the thing
answer
answer
another
another
stroke
stroke
diana
diana
ask
ask
her
her
Dog
Dog
fun
fun
mine
mine
car
car
mother
mother
com
com
once
once
class
class
bread
bread
who
who
lots
lots
character
character
gone
gone
condoms
condoms
him
him
language
language
list
list
switch
switch
culture
culture
one
one
snickers
snickers
friend
friend
mothman
mothman
down
down
que
que
speaker
speaker
may
may
grammar
grammar
safe
safe
name
name
identity
identity
don
don
esa
esa
means
means
thai
thai
fast
fast
day
day
she
she
think
think
speak
speak
did
did
italian
italian
them
them
kid
kid
all
all
first
first
exchange
exchange
mode
mode
dis
dis
huge
huge
remember
remember
the the
the the
solid
solid
they
they
thing
thing
articles
articles
words
words
you
you
call
call
real
real
lance
lance
show
show
person
person
oven
oven
extra
extra
note
note
post
post
romani
romani
fishing rod
fishing rod
accent
accent
fea
fea
trip
trip
polish
polish
what
what
store
store
americans
americans
notes
notes
still
still
oda
oda
for
for
question
question
mira
mira
sigh
sigh
rod
rod
my name is
my name is
defined
defined
cara
cara
whats
whats
verb
verb
e.g
e.g
concept
concept
term
term
lose
lose
idioms
idioms
call me
call me
extension
extension
use
use
href
href
in america
in america
in english
in english
used
used
vice versa
vice versa
using
using
my family
my family
more
more
this
this
really
really
tired
tired
llama
llama
your mom
your mom
list of
list of
my bad
my bad
great
great
like
like
when you
when you
whats up
whats up
making
making
daily
daily
nothing
nothing
always
always
people
people
losing
losing
quick
quick
full
full
funnier
funnier
russian accent
russian accent
name of
name of
hola
hola
typing
typing
drop
drop
present
present
breath
breath
probably
probably
just
just
enough
enough
though
though
cash
cash
then
then
finally
finally
because
because
staring
staring
ffs
ffs
ugh
ugh
realize
realize
everyone
everyone
might
might
someone
someone
sometimes
sometimes
nonsensical
nonsensical
and then
and then
happened
happened
incomprehensible
incomprehensible
each other
each other
meanwhile
meanwhile
thank
thank
myself
myself
i do
i do
no way
no way
saying
saying
i think
i think
makes sense
makes sense
needed
needed
like this
like this
counting
counting
seemed
seemed
i would
i would
witnessed
witnessed
loose
loose
goodbye
goodbye
literally
literally
except
except
same
same
talking
talking
yea
yea
genuinely
genuinely
their
their
go to
go to
explain
explain
nobody
nobody
usually
usually
literal
literal
revert
revert
otherwise
otherwise
ahi
ahi
accents
accents
blunder
blunder
you in spanish
you in spanish
actual
actual
were
were
rather
rather
there
there
muy
muy
quirks
quirks
happen
happen
cama
cama
transition
transition
minute
minute
linguistic
linguistic
aspirated
aspirated
dee
 dee
no
 no
something
 something
see
 see
better
 better
hard
 hard
way
 way
know
 know
place
 place
wrong
 wrong
later
 later
understand
 understand
say
 say
instead
 instead
said
 said
year
 year
tres
 tres
none
 none
throw
 throw
heavy
 heavy
slang
 slang
mutters
 mutters
mistake
 mistake
see you
 see you
starting
 starting
there is
 there is
oven mitt
 oven mitt
your name
 your name
just call
 just call
backwards
 backwards
tumblr blog
 tumblr blog
accidentally
 accidentally
see you later
 see you later
speaking spanish
 speaking spanish
do-not-speak
do-not-speak
you-know-this
you-know-this
out
out
over
over
uh-what
uh-what
shocking
shocking
Track
Track
Lots Of People
Lots Of People
There Was No Way
There Was No Way
Oooooo
Oooooo
Chuckled
Chuckled
Under Her Breath
Under Her Breath
Little
Little
Forget
Forget
Meant To Be
Meant To Be
Easier
Easier
And
And
Other
Other
You Know
You Know
Here
Here
I Am
I Am
Forgot
Forgot
Expression
Expression
In Spanish
In Spanish
Writer
Writer
Both
Both
Name That
Name That
When
When
A Lot
A Lot
Number
Number
Actually
Actually
Skills
Skills
When I Was
When I Was
That
That
Try
Try
Christ
Christ
Forgetting
Forgetting
But
But
Not
Not
Count
Count
Where
Where
Native
Native
Original
Original
Bad Math
Bad Math
Keep Going
Keep Going
I Was There
I Was There
Saying Goodbye
Saying Goodbye
For Me
For Me
Give
Give
The
The
The First
The First
The Word
The Word
Not The
Not The
Caught
Caught
I Have A
I Have A
From
From
Bonus
Bonus
When The
When The
Basically
Basically
When Your
When Your
Buy
Buy
Bilingual
Bilingual
Your
Your
Trying
Trying
I Have
I Have
Its
Its
Told
Told
Take
Take
Mix
Mix
Write
Write
Characters
Characters
Be Able
Be Able
Mierda
Mierda
Carajo
Carajo
My Name
My Name
On Me
On Me
Thingy
Thingy
The A
The A
Very
Very
Ended
Ended
Sit
Sit
Múltiple
Múltiple
While
While
Spent
Spent
Flor
Flor
Painful
Painful
Turned
Turned
Had To
Had To
Behind
Behind
In My
In My
I Sit
I Sit
Belong
Belong
Was
Was
With
With
Takes
Takes
Fix
Fix
Comes
Comes
Know This
Know This
Took
Took
In A
In A
Are
Are
Agreement
Agreement
Have
Have
Sounds
Sounds
Going
Going
If You
If You
Sense
Sense
Had
Had
When I
When I
I Mean
I Mean
I Was
I Was
Do Not
Do Not
Also
Also
Breathes
Breathes
Gunvolt
Gunvolt
Floor
Floor
Breaths
Breaths
There Is Nothing
There Is Nothing
Equivalent
Equivalent
Verbs
Verbs
Exist
Exist
Heavy Accent
Heavy Accent
A Href
A Href
Https
Https
Address
Address
Keep
Keep
Caras
Caras
Por
Por
Which
Which
Only
Only
About
About
Does
Does
Neighborhood
Neighborhood
Tumblr Com
Tumblr Com
Keyboards
Keyboards
Jumble
Jumble
Lot
Lot
Subject Verb Agreement
Subject Verb Agreement
Before
Before
Meant
Meant
Being
Being
Most
Most
In My Head
In My Head
Must
Must
Romanie
Romanie
Staring At Him
Staring At Him
In The Wrong
In The Wrong
To You
To You
Spanish Names
Spanish Names
Mad At You
Mad At You
Tell
Tell
Happens
Happens
Belonging
Belonging
Than
Than
Detail
Detail
Showing Up
Showing Up
Halfway
Halfway
Thinks
Thinks
Remembered
Remembered
Introducing
Introducing
Speaking
Speaking
Sentences
Sentences
Says
Says
Getting
Getting
Languages
Languages
Dropping
Dropping
Subject
Subject
Even
Even
His
His
Some
Some
Blunders
Blunders
Above
Above
Stressful
Stressful
Could
Could
Its Hard
Its Hard
Stressfull
Stressfull
A Word
A Word
All Of The Above
All Of The Above
Cashe
Cashe
Como
Como
Conception
Conception
In The Mix
In The Mix
Informal
Informal
Informants
Informants
Informer
Informer
Ocho
Ocho
Polished
Polished
Switched
Switched
The Same
The Same
A Concept
A Concept
A Dog
A Dog
A List Of
A List Of
A Lot Of
A Lot Of
A Question
A Question
All Gone
All Gone
And Over
And Over
Ask Him
Ask Him
But I
But I
But It
But It
Caras Feas
Caras Feas
Corrected
Corrected
Detailed
Detailed
Do Math
Do Math
English Words
English Words
Entirely
Entirely
Everyone Thinks
Everyone Thinks
Explaining Something
Explaining Something
Explaining
Explaining
Fixing Cars
Fixing Cars
Fixings
Fixings
Forgets
Forgets
Getting Mad
Getting Mad
Have A Safe Trip
Have A Safe Trip
Have A
Have A
Having A Stroke
Having A Stroke
He Says
He Says
How You
How You
I Am Angry
I Am Angry
I Fix
I Fix
I Have A Dog
I Have A Dog
Im Going To
Im Going To
Im Going
Im Going
In The
In The
Informative
Informative
Instead Of
Instead Of
Into
Into
Is Full Of
Is Full Of
Is Not
Is Not
Its Back
Its Back
Just Call Me
Just Call Me
Lots Of
Lots Of
Math Skills
Math Skills
Meaning To
Meaning To
Mispronounce
Mispronounce
Mom Said
Mom Said
Most Common
Most Common
Mostly
Mostly
Not Meant To Be
Not Meant To Be
Not Speaking
Not Speaking
Notes Down
Notes Down
Painfull
Painfull
Places
Places
Quietly
Quietly
Real Quick
Real Quick
Written
Written
To Do
To Do
What Your
What Your
Quieted
Quieted
Whats Your
Whats Your
A Day
A Day
Able
Able
Addressable
Addressable
Addressal
Addressal
Caught Myself
Caught Myself
All Of
All Of
Ahis
Ahis
Bukie
Bukie
Camae
Camae
Esae
Esae
Mirae
Mirae
Pasa
Pasa
Romany
Romany
Siing
Siing
Thaj
Thaj
Tingy
Tingy
Yanna
Yanna
Belong To
Belong To
Blunderer
Blunderer
Blundering
Blundering
Breathed
Breathed
Camas
Camas
Conceptive
Conceptive
Cuatro
Cuatro
Detailedly
Detailedly
Each
Each
Entire
Entire
Even Though
Even Though
Extensional
Extensional
For All
For All
Have To
Have To
Have Not
Have Not
Head In
Head In
Idiomatic
Idiomatic
Incidents
Incidents
Inform
Inform
Informed
Informed
Intentional
Intentional
Italianate
Italianate
Italianize
Italianize
Mitt
Mitt
Mixe
Mixe
More Than
More Than
Not Do
Not Do
Note Down
Note Down
Over And Over
Over And Over
Polishable
Polishable
Pronouncing
Pronouncing
Randomly
Randomly
Rather Than
Rather Than
Regularly
Regularly
Revert To
Revert To
Revertant
Revertant
Revertive
Revertive
Show Up
Show Up
Smoothly
Smoothly
Solidity
Solidity
Somehow
Somehow
Specific
Specific
Subjectable
Subjectable
Subjecting
Subjecting
Subjection
Subjection
Talking To
Talking To
Target Language
Target Language
Targetable
Targetable
Targeteer
Targeteer
Termly
Termly
Terms
Terms
The Above
The Above
The English
The English
The Other
The Other
To Be
To Be
Tracked
Tracked
Trippingly
Trippingly
Keeping
Keeping
Riches
Riches
Bigly
Bigly
I Have
I Have
8 Minutes
8 Minutes
Died
Died
From
From
Long
Long
The
The
Love Is
Love Is

mothman @LEVKAWA how to tell when a bilingual character was not written by a bilingual person 101 Hola ¿Qué pasa? Lance said Uhwhat? Ah sorry It's hard to switch back sometimes What's up? He corrected kalidels misdiagnosed-ghost rrojasandribbons cobaltmoony silentwalrus1 justgot1 cricketcat9 artykyn prideling gunvolt im going to have a stroke Instead try…Person A You know… the thingPerson B The “thing”?Person A Yeah the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed Forgot a word in Spanish while speaking Spanish to me but remembered it in English Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identityUsed a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English He actually does this quite regularly because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “…Ah… that must be a Russian one then…”Had to count backwards for something Could not count backwards in English Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed and then translated it into EnglishMeant to inform her French parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently bread in America is full of condomsDefined a slang term for me…… with another slang term In the same language Which I do not speakWas talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his backSaid an expression in English but with Spanish grammar which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!” Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder you have to really understand what they actually blunder over And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back” I use Spanish and English daily none is my native language When I’m tired or did not have enough sleep I loose track of who to address in which language I caught myself explaining something in Spanish to my English-speaking friends more than once When I’m REALLY tired I’ll throw some Polish words in the mix There is nothing more painful than bad fake Spanglish by an American writer Bilingual people don’t just randomly drop words in nonsensical places in their sentences ffs “I’m muy tired! I think I’ll go to my cama and go to sleep!“ Nobody does that From my bilingual parents - Only being able to do math in their original language “Ok so that would beeeeee … *muttering* ocho por cuatro menos tres…” - Losing words and getting mad at you about it “Gimme the - the - UGH ESA COSA AHI’ CARAJO The thing the oven mitt Christ” - Making asides to you in Spanish even though you’ve told them to not do this as lots of people here speak Spanish “Oye mira esa que cara fea” “MOM FFS WE’RE IN A MEXICAN NEIGHBORHOOD” - Swears in English don’t count - Swears in Spanish mean you’d better fucking run kid - Introducing you to English-only Americans using your Spanish name so that they mispronounce your name for all eternity because that’s what your mom said your name was “Hi Dee-yanna!” “sigh Just call me Diana” “Yeah but your mom said your name was Dee-yanna” - Your parents give you a name that only makes sense in Spanish “Your name is Floor?” “No my name is Flor” “FLOOR?” “Sigh” - conjugating English words with Russian grammar and vice versa Sometimes both at once which is extra fun самолет - самолетас - самолетасы - when vice versa dropping English articles entirely The a an all gone eg “I go to store and buy thing I fix car and go to place” This also happens when i am very tired - speaking English with heavy accent you don’t actually have - when my family and I are switching over fast we say the English words in a very heavy Russian accent that mostly doesn’t show up otherwise bonus - keysmashing in the wrong language when your keyboard is still switched over - using instead of or other culture-specific emojityping quirks all of the above OMG THIS -switching from Romanes to English and forgetting that articles exist because Romanes doesn’t always use them-starting to say a word in one language and trying to smoothly transition it to another language n…oooooo thank you is probably my most common-using English profanity when speaking Romanes-using Romanes profanity when speaking English that’s how you know I am angry-the over extension of the word “not” in English that comes out something like this “I have not cash on me”-counting in my head in Romanes always but math always in English which might explain my bad math skills-drunk accents I have a heavy accent when drunk and only when drunk-substituting Romani words when trying to speak in Serbian even when the other speaker is bilingual in English-aspirating English phonemes that are not meant to be aspirated -accidentally pronouncing the English “i” sounds as “ee” I have a dog named Snickers and everyone thinks her name is Sneakers-describing objects in detail but forgetting the actual name of it in your target language dzhanes ‘odaji glazhuni thaj zhamija si ‘oda ejjjjj dikhes perdal oda ejjjj ekh… feljastra! Ekh feljastra! -”the thing” in both languages -except e buki also means “the work” and o kasavo mean “such” or “like this” so in English I mean to say “the thing” but I really say “the this you know this this this the thingy” But it sounds like “da dis you know dis dis dis da tingy”-subject verb agreement doesn’t exist when switching languages ^^see above that was not an intentional mistake-“is mine” to mean “I have” “Dog is mine” = “I have a dog” I could keep going but yea bilingual quirks are waaaay better and funnier when you actually understand how they work and the grammar quirks of both target languages I always fucking forget the word “chess”???? And I sit there saying шахматы over and over to myself until I finally remember it in English blunders also happen when they have to note down something real quick or take lectures! my notes when I was in Italy for my exchange year are incomprehensible to basically everyone lmao it’s a huge jumble of thai english and italian because sometimes it’s easier to just write down a concept in english rather than have to translate it back to your native language! also while I was there I spent a day with an american friend and when we were saying goodbye to each other this literally happened “well have a safe trip home!! I’ll see you… um… dopo… dopo dopo LATER! LATER!! I’LL SEE YOU LATER” Meme

found @ 27 likes ON 2019-03-08 23:57:52 BY ME.ME

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