My boyfriend told me over text that he didn't know the Minotaur story Boyfriend I I don't even know the story that well babe I can't even say xD Me Okay so Me Poseidon gives a bull to King Minos the best and shiniest bull you ever saw and he's like You can have this but only if you promise to sacrifice it to me later and Minos is like Sure yeah okay man whatever so Poseidon sends this bestest bull ever galloping up out of the salty sea spray and everyone standing around is like Hot fuck look at that bull And Minos agrees and he likes the bull So much he decides to just quietly sort of keep it And he does kill a bull for Poseidon but it's one of his own lame normal bulls and Poseidon's no pushover so of course he notices Me Poseidon is also notoriously easily angered and he's royal pissed about this so he comes up with one of the most devious punishments ever and he infects Minos' wife Pasiphae with a desperate DESPERATE thirst for the bull Like she can think of nothing but getting some of that hot Bull D Me But it's hard to convince a bull especially a divinely spawned bull to fuck you if you are in fact not a cow but a human queen so she comes up with a plan Boyfriend I thought some god comes down in bull form and fucks her?? Me Ohh no no no that's the much much more tame story of Europa who has sex with Zeus in bull form This is different Me She goes to the best inventor she knows Daedalus and she's like I need this bull to fuck me I NEED IT and Daedalus is like That's really weird maybe you should talk to someone and she's like I am talking to you and I am your queen so you better fucking make this happen for me I am going to peel my own skin off if I don't get some bull dick ASAP But he doesn't want me because I am not fat four-legged and mooing Boyfriend Oh oh no Me So Daedalus shrugs probably shudders a little and builds the prettiest most fuckable wooden cow a bull ever saw but he makes it hollow presumably with some openings in some awkward places Boyfriend OH GOD NO Me So Pasiphae puts this monstrosity in the field with the bull climbs in it and waits And Daedalus really is a skilled inventor and he apparently knows what a bull likes because Pasiphae finally gets the hot bull loving she's been dreaming of Me Only she apparently hasn't been tracking her cycles because she gets pregnant and births the minotaur and King Minos is like What the fuck? and Pasiphae is like Honey I need to tell you something Me And that is how it happened Boyfriend That is NOT HOW THAT WORKS Me Welcome to Mythology Source delphicsacrifice 13902 notes Meme

apparently
apparently

apparently

Desperate
Desperate

Desperate

fuck you
fuck you

fuck you

Fucking
Fucking

Fucking

God
God

God

pregnant
pregnant

pregnant

Being salty
Being salty

Being salty

Saw
Saw

Saw

Sex
Sex

Sex

she knows
she knows

she knows

weird
weird

weird

yeah
yeah

yeah

Queen
Queen

Queen

Awkward
Awkward

Awkward

Best
Best

Best

Bulls
Bulls

Bulls

Dick
Dick

Dick

Fuck
Fuck

Fuck

Okay
Okay

Okay

Poseidon
Poseidon

Poseidon

Text
Text

Text

Zeus
Zeus

Zeus

Wife
Wife

Wife

Boyfriend
Boyfriend

Boyfriend

Fat
Fat

Fat

Thought
Thought

Thought

Been
Been

Been

how
how

how

her
her

her

human
human

human

honey
honey

honey

mythology
mythology

mythology

cow
cow

cow

europa
europa

europa

king
king

king

who
who

who

source
source

source

can
can

can

one
one

one

down
down

down

skin
skin

skin

man
man

man

bull
bull

bull

asap
asap

asap

she
she

she

think
think

think

minotaur
minotaur

minotaur

sacrifice
sacrifice

sacrifice

own
own

own

hot
hot

hot

make
make

make

you
you

you

story
story

story

works
works

works

daedalus
daedalus

daedalus

what
what

what

notes
notes

notes

for
for

for

normal
normal

normal

thirst
thirst

thirst

lame
lame

lame

minos
minos

minos

look
look

look

more
more

more

this
this

this

the best
the best

the best

get
get

get

of course
of course

of course

really
really

really

look at that
look at that

look at that

oh no
oh no

oh no

like
like

like

sure
sure

sure

oh god
oh god

oh god

this is
this is

this is

nothing
nothing

nothing

likes
likes

likes

well
well

well

what a
what a

what a

i need it
i need it

i need it

different
different

different

fuck me
fuck me

fuck me

probably
probably

probably

just
just

just

no no
no no

no no

whatever
whatever

whatever

finally
finally

finally

because
because

because

everyone
everyone

everyone

shrugs
shrugs

shrugs

someone
someone

someone

hot fuck
hot fuck

hot fuck

happened
happened

happened

what the
what the

what the

hes
hes

hes

i thought
i thought

i thought

dreaming
dreaming

dreaming

spray
spray

spray

the fuck
the fuck

the fuck

i cant even
i cant even

i cant even

shes
shes

shes

babe
babe

babe

devious
devious

devious

maybe
maybe

maybe

talking
talking

talking

ever
ever

ever

monstrosity
monstrosity

monstrosity

happen
happen

happen

pushover
pushover

pushover

fact
fact

fact

welcome
 welcome

welcome

i cant
 i cant

i cant

cant even
 cant even

cant even

no
 no

no

pissed
 pissed

pissed

something
 something

something

better
 better

better

hard
 hard

hard

need
 need

need

know
 know

know

want
 want

want

later
 later

later

say
 say

say

much
 much

much

around
 around

around

so much
 so much

so much

one of the most
 one of the most

one of the most

sea
 sea

sea

gets
 gets

gets

dont
 dont

dont

kill
 kill

kill

field
 field

field

told me
 told me

told me

promise
 promise

promise

tracking
 tracking

tracking

oh god no
 oh god no

oh god no

i dont even
 i dont even

i dont even

i am going to
 i am going to

i am going to

what the fuck
 what the fuck

what the fuck

to-tell-you
to-tell-you

to-tell-you

out
out

out

over
over

over

None
None

None

None
None

None

None
None

None

None
None

None

None
None

None

None
None

None

None
None

None

And
And

And

I Am
I Am

I Am

Ohh No
Ohh No

Ohh No

Cant
Cant

Cant

Ohh
Ohh

Ohh

My Boyfriend
My Boyfriend

My Boyfriend

I Need This
I Need This

I Need This

Royal
Royal

Royal

Dont Even
Dont Even

Dont Even

I Dont Even Know
I Dont Even Know

I Dont Even Know

That
That

That

Loving
Loving

Loving

But
But

But

Not
Not

Not

Plan
Plan

Plan

Fucks
Fucks

Fucks

God No
God No

God No

You Are
You Are

You Are

Like You
Like You

Like You

Welcome To
Welcome To

Welcome To

For Me
For Me

For Me

The
The

The

I Need
I Need

I Need

Get Some
Get Some

Get Some

You Should
You Should

You Should

Your
Your

Your

You Better
You Better

You Better

Yeah Okay
Yeah Okay

Yeah Okay

Its
Its

Its

Told
Told

Told

Like What
Like What

Like What

Really Weird
Really Weird

Really Weird

Bull Dick
Bull Dick

Bull Dick

Not Fat
Not Fat

Not Fat

I Am Not Fat
I Am Not Fat

I Am Not Fat

Hasnt
Hasnt

Hasnt

A Little
A Little

A Little

Especially
Especially

Especially

Bestest
Bestest

Bestest

Didnt
Didnt

Didnt

None
None

None

Getting Some
Getting Some

Getting Some

I Dont
I Dont

I Dont

Thats
Thats

Thats

With
With

With

Comes
Comes

Comes

Should
Should

Should

Are
Are

Are

Have
Have

Have

Four
Four

Four

Wooden
Wooden

Wooden

Going
Going

Going

Form
Form

Form

If You
If You

If You

And That
And That

And That

Goes
Goes

Goes

Also
Also

Also

No Me
No Me

No Me

Okay So
Okay So

Okay So

I Am Not
I Am Not

I Am Not

Okay Man
Okay Man

Okay Man

Keep
Keep

Keep

Only
Only

Only

About
About

About

Does
Does

Does

You And I
You And I

You And I

Has
Has

Has

Hollow
Hollow

Hollow

Most
Most

Most

Easily
Easily

Easily

To You
To You

To You

Tell
Tell

Tell

My Own
My Own

My Own

Standing
Standing

Standing

Convince
Convince

Convince

Getting
Getting

Getting

Even
Even

Even

Divinely
Divinely

Divinely

Knows
Knows

Knows

His
His

His

Some
Some

Some

Prettiest
Prettiest

Prettiest

Course
Course

Course

Its Hard
Its Hard

Its Hard

Sort
Sort

Sort

Tame
Tame

Tame

Am Not
Am Not

Am Not

Angered
Angered

Angered

But Its
But Its

But Its

Didnt Know
Didnt Know

Didnt Know

Dreaming Of
Dreaming Of

Dreaming Of

For The
For The

For The

Her Me
Her Me

Her Me

How It Happened
How It Happened

How It Happened

I I
I I

I I

I Need To Tell You Something
I Need To Tell You Something

I Need To Tell You Something

If I
If I

If I

In The
In The

In The

Is A
Is A

Is A

Is Not
Is Not

Is Not

Keep It
Keep It

Keep It

Need It
Need It

Need It

Need This
Need This

Need This

Not A
Not A

Not A

Of Me
Of Me

Of Me

Oh Oh No
Oh Oh No

Oh Oh No

Oh Oh
Oh Oh

Oh Oh

Out Of
Out Of

Out Of

Places
Places

Places

Quietly
Quietly

Quietly

found @ 304 views ON 2018-07-02 05:16:29 BY me.me

source: imgur