My bros I have been doing a lot of reading about Wacky wwil Hjinks lately and I want to tel you a slory because I love it okay once upon a time there was a dude in Spain named Juan Pujol Garcia Pujol was a chicken famer Pujol hated him some goddamn fascists See Span had recently ended its civt war with the fascists taking power So when wwll broke out in Europe Spain technically remained neutrail but in practice was buddy buddy with the Nazis Juan Pujol Garcia thought this was pretty bulishit so soon ater war breaks out Pujol travels to his local British embassy and goes heyI wanna spy on the Nazis for you who the fuck are you? say the Brtish and kick him out but Pujol is not deterredl He stil wants to dunk on some fascists so now he goes to his local Geman embassy instead hey he says 1 wanna spy on the Brtish for you I sure do hate them yeah okay say the Germans that seems pretty legit and just like that Pujol now officialy warks for the Abwehr the German intelligence agency They hand him some spy gear invisible Ink and such and instruct him to travel lo Lisbon and from there make his way into the UK So Pujol heads to Lisbon and a ltde while later writes to his German handliers teling them he's made it to England Pujol had not made it to England He had in fact made t to the Lisbon public library where he checked out a number of English guide bocks and set about just wholesavle making smr up this is sighy complicated by he fact that for example he completely did not understand British currency and all his expense reports were basicaly gibberish He also reported things like brioing Scotsmen because the people of Glasgow would do anything tor a Itre of wine an actual quote because hey people in Spain lke wine so that's probably the same nigh? Here is where it starts to get realy crazy because the Atwehr Joves tns woW this dude is a great spy they say because apparenty none of them had ever been the England esther In fact they are so pumped about this new awesome spy that the British stairt to get worried you see by this time the British had cracked German's supposedly unbreakable Enigma code and were totally dunking on the Nazis by reading basically all of ther-super top secret-radio transmissions And crucially they'd become so good at breaking and reading traffic that there were iterally no German spies in England The Germans would set up a spy drop usually dropping duces in by parachute in the middle of the night the Brtish would intercept the message and then just scoop the dudes up as soon as they landed in a move that must have been SUPER embarrassing to the spies so there are no Geman spies in the UK because theyre all shting in a prison run by MI5 although some are being run under supervision as double agents feeding Genmany builshit But suddenly MI5 is picking up all this traffic from the Germans talking about their super great spy- a spy the Bntish do not have in their jail oh shit says MI5 and starts rereading all the transmissions they have to and from this mysterious super spy hey wait says MI5 upon actually reading the shit the spy was sending someone is playing sily buggers pip pip cheerio At this point Pujol sll in Lisbon had actualily been approaching the British embassy again repeatedly but apparently 1 am literally an Abwehr agent and would like to offer you my services wasn't interesting enough because he was repeatedly turned away again it want until MIS started asking around that one of the embassy staf was like oh yeah we know that guy so in 1942 the British finally make contact with Pujol and he officially becomes a spy for Mi5 They move him to London and assign him a case oicer so he can start making up even better bulshit and he does Once actually in London Pujol reports to the Abwehr that he d recruited a whole slew of informants from a bunch of Welsh Aryans to disaffected army officers He ends up wih a network of 20+ sub-spies all feeding him information from around the U none of mese people actualy exist Pujol just straight up invented like 20 people keeping careful track of their fake personalties names and actvities with the hep of Mi5 the information he sends becomes even better- a mix of true but ultimately useless facis and actualy important intel tmed to artve in Germany just sightly too late to be af any use He and his spy network become the Abwehr's most trusted agents Pujol now codenamed Agent Garbo for his acting skils ends up playing a huge role in the run-up to D-Day where the Alies mounted a huge intellgenoe campaign to convince Htler that the planned sile of attack was going to be Calais and not Normandy this was Operation Fortitude and you should absolulely look t up lor more Wacky WWll Adventures Obviously you know how this ended crazly enough the Abwenr never figured out that Pujol was a double agent After the war he recelved both the Iron Cross Second Class which require personal authorization from Hitier and a Member of the Order of the Brtish Empire from King George Vi unable to resist being rotaly fucking ndiculous Pujol tumed down MI5's post-war offer to continue spying but this time against he USSR TO he said just help me fake my own death and then I'm moving to Venezuela and thats exacly what he ad Juan Garcia Pujol died in 1988 at the age of 76 Okay I'm just editing my reblog to add this picture of Juan Pujol Garcia because I feel that t adds so much to the story to picture him doing ALL THE ABOVE with this expression what a legend Juan Pujol GarciaThe first shitposter Meme

found @ 24 likes ON 2019-03-08 23:28:03 BY ME.ME