@oscarewilde i received this comically large pencil as a gift several years ago and my first thought understandably was 'what the christ am i meant to do with this?' @oscarewilde the 2nd thought i had was I'm Quite Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With This And so a while ago i took it in with me to a lecture hoping against hope that whichever poor Fool was unfortunate enough to sit next to me might have forgotten or misplaced their writing implement @oscarewilde utilising The Pencil is also dependent on the person not using a laptop So the chances of success are extraordinarily slim and I've only managed to find suitable candidates three times in all of the dozens of occasions i've had The Pencil on my person @oscarewilde i size up my target watching them feign patting their pockets in vain for the ballpoint they so obviously left at home and i wait i wait for the blessed question Do You Have A Pen I Could Borrow? @oscarewilde Oh i say 'I'm so sorry I only have a pencil That's fine!' i hear them say distantly now as the blood is rushing to my ears andican barely hear them Imaintain a straight face This is key to the delivery and the final blow @oscarewilde Ireach into my bag for The Pencil The look of utter dumbfounded misery as i hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its sweetness In an instant their eyes flicker through the 5 stages of grief landing on acceptance as they realise it's This or Nothing @oscarewilde still maintaining that eye contact i smile only the tiniest fraction the unspoken words forming between us 'What are you gonna do now huh? You feeling lucky kiddo? Buddy? Buckaroo? You gonna kick up a fuss in this silent lecture theatre? Huh? Or will you take The Pencil? @oscarewilde they Always take the pencil ifynnyco Tap to see the meme Meme

found ON 2019-09-10 22:45:49 BY ME.ME