so my roomates girlfriend just caught me in the kitchen and its so hard to play it cool when you never see this person you only hear her yowling like a cat in heat while her asshole gets played with so me trying to act as casual as i possibly could forgot i was holding an onion and not a delightful apple and bit into it fully expecting a honeycrisp but instead got the equiv of biting solid piss miss--midnight lol wtaf i can't read a single word of this paragraph detectivesonnshine Ok but imagine being the gf here You've been chillin with ur SO and u decide to get up and get a snack U never talk to ur SO's roommate but u wanna play it cool like u didn't just have sex 20 minutes ago in this apartment while said roommate was probably home Awk af but u got this U look up and nod at them about to offer a noncommittal hey or how's it going when the fucking roommate just Looks u dead in the eyes And fuckin Bites a goddamn onion like an apple Meme

found ON 2018-12-18 09:35:16 BY ME.ME

source: pinterest