the biggest lie i think the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon ike a dragona creature with more wealth and power than any other creature on the planeta creature who is easily an 1110 when they deign to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard whose own father doesn't even love them and goyeah I'd like to fuck that Counterpoint my good man Bragonsuck Dragons fuck clearly but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big Charisma stat If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling twink with a lyre I would have standards dragons are SUPER horny counterpoint even if dragons are SUPER horny they've got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons so much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster the Elder Dragon who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True Polymorph to make things interesting you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post OP is right and they should say it Dragon Bf Giont Gnol Gobin Haiting Koboid Spite As we can see from this most excellent chart dragons can and will fuck anything Even humans do not compare The only species that can match dragons for homy-ness is in fact nymphs Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone Go forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad encounter and fuck the dragon I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to keep that chart for reference so That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!! That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart and it says right on it that what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would yield offspring It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those creatures just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor What's the bard gonna say?? You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting sauteed OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek your argument is invalid Don't bring shrek into this OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD 1 Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him on his path 2 You channel magical power through words and music Doney never stopped talking or singing That was his THING 3 Key abilities Charisma Intelligence Constitution- Do we even need to question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms with their feelings Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to figure out the flowers Fiona asked for Constitution-dude you saw the shit he managed to survive in that movie CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN DONKEY IS A BARD THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE AGAIN advice-animal How to Fuck your Dragon Meme

found @ 38 likes ON 2019-02-13 10:58:44 BY ME.ME