The Chad Blackbeard the virgin captain Kidd Over six feet tall Puts lighted fuses and gunpowder charges in his Always thinks of himself as a legitimate privateer with a commission to attack French ships during the Nine Years' War convicted of piracy due to a technicality because his commission was a few months expired Probably a manlet beard while engaging in combat is so scary that most merchant ships simply surrender without a fight Marries an unattractive widow with children from a previous marriage hoping to get her money Is openly a pirate and doesn't give a fuck proudly flies his cool personalized pirate lag letting everyone know who he is His crew want to become outright pirates and eventually mutiny against him but he refuses to capture any ships until it's too late and his commission has already expired making him a pirate anyway Meekly turns himself in to the authorities hoping his political connections will get him a pardon still gets hung after a long and humiliating public trial Marries the virgin teenage daughter of a planter while briefly retiring from piracy Thick manly beard that all the ladies love Dies pathetically weeping and saying prayers in front of a jeering crowd His decomposing corpse is hung in a gibbet outside London for several years as a warning to other pirates is instead mocked in popular ballads Is called on to surrender when outnumbered 3 to 1 replies with belligerent threats and brazenly boards the enemy ship to fight to the death Randomly shoots one of his own crew with a pistol under the table one night while playing cards permanently maiming him everyone knows it's just one of Blackbeard's jokes and his whole crew laugh it off congratulating him on his bold sense of humor Is actually too light for his neck to break during the first hanging attempt and has to be cut down and hung twice before he dies Kills one of his own men in a fit of rage by hitting him in the head with a bucket his crew hate him for it and he is eventually convicted of the murder at his trial Dies fighting surrounded by enemies as he is pierced dozens of times by swords cuts and at least five gunshots still only stops fighting when he is finally decapitated from behind with a broadsword Tries to bury treasure on Gardiners Island it is quickly dug up and recovered by authorities Buries treasure but refuses to tell anyone where saying no one but himself and the Devil knows where it is and the longest liver should take all it is never found Meme

Beard
Beard

Beard

Children
Children

Children

head
head

head

Love
Love

Love

Marriage
Marriage

Marriage

Money
Money

Money

piracy
piracy

piracy

Virgin
Virgin

Virgin

Devil
Devil

Devil

Break
Break

Break

Cool
Cool

Cool

Death
Death

Death

Fuck
Fuck

Fuck

History
History

History

Jokes
Jokes

Jokes

London
London

London

Pirates
Pirates

Pirates

Belligerent
Belligerent

Belligerent

Bold
Bold

Bold

French
French

French

Pirate
Pirate

Pirate

Convicted
Convicted

Convicted

Enemies
Enemies

Enemies

Kidd
Kidd

Kidd

Never
Never

Never

Murder
Murder

Murder

Fight
Fight

Fight

All The
All The

All The

feet
feet

feet

rage
rage

rage

her
her

her

table
table

table

war
war

war

light
light

light

liver
liver

liver

blackbeard
blackbeard

blackbeard

hung
hung

hung

who
who

who

fit
fit

fit

chad
chad

chad

him
him

him

daughter
daughter

daughter

one
one

one

down
down

down

swords
swords

swords

gunpowder
gunpowder

gunpowder

fighting
fighting

fighting

island
island

island

playing cards
playing cards

playing cards

the enemy
the enemy

the enemy

the devil
the devil

the devil

will
will

will

crew
crew

crew

nine
nine

nine

own
own

own

all
all

all

first
first

first

public
public

public

ship
ship

ship

treasure
treasure

treasure

times
times

times

five
five

five

still
still

still

for
for

for

months
months

months

enemy
enemy

enemy

humor
humor

humor

connections
connections

connections

pardon
pardon

pardon

fuses
fuses

fuses

broadsword
broadsword

broadsword

popular
popular

popular

get
get

get

political
political

political

scary
scary

scary

hate
hate

hate

laugh
laugh

laugh

men
men

men

making
making

making

manly
manly

manly

always
always

always

personalized
personalized

personalized

probably
probably

probably

just
just

just

finally
finally

finally

pistol
pistol

pistol

because
because

because

outside
outside

outside

crowd
crowd

crowd

eventually
eventually

eventually

everyone
everyone

everyone

widow
widow

widow

sense of humor
sense of humor

sense of humor

decapitated
decapitated

decapitated

anyone
anyone

anyone

surrounded
surrounded

surrounded

saying
saying

saying

too late
too late

too late

weeping
weeping

weeping

thick
thick

thick

neck
neck

neck

lag
lag

lag

ships
ships

ships

hoping
hoping

hoping

mutiny
mutiny

mutiny

gibbet
gibbet

gibbet

too
too

too

from behind
 from behind

from behind

no
 no

no

called
 called

called

night
 night

night

cards
 cards

cards

know
 know

know

want
 want

want

instead
 instead

instead

anyway
 anyway

anyway

years
 years

years

dug
 dug

dug

gets
 gets

gets

late
 late

late

tall
 tall

tall

already
 already

already

warning
 warning

warning

teenage
 teenage

teenage

lighted
 lighted

lighted

prayers
 prayers

prayers

hanging
 hanging

hanging

captain
 captain

captain

ballads
 ballads

ballads

outnumbered
 outnumbered

outnumbered

humiliating
 humiliating

humiliating

captain kidd
 captain kidd

captain kidd

congratulating
 congratulating

congratulating

a-few-months
a-few-months

a-few-months

over
over

over

attack
attack

attack

ladies
ladies

ladies

playing
playing

playing

hitting
hitting

hitting

None
None

None

None
None

None

None
None

None

And
And

And

Commission
Commission

Commission

Other
Other

Other

Combat
Combat

Combat

Hate Him
Hate Him

Hate Him

Its Too Late
Its Too Late

Its Too Late

When
When

When

Actually
Actually

Actually

Simply
Simply

Simply

That
That

That

But
But

But

Cut
Cut

Cut

Where
Where

Where

When He
When He

When He

Merchant
Merchant

Merchant

Fight To The Death
Fight To The Death

Fight To The Death

Surrender
Surrender

Surrender

Give
Give

Give

The
The

The

The First
The First

The First

Long
Long

Long

From
From

From

Its
Its

Its

Trial
Trial

Trial

Take
Take

Take

Get Him
Get Him

Get Him

Dies
Dies

Dies

Longest
Longest

Longest

Bucket
Bucket

Bucket

During
During

During

Few
Few

Few

Front
Front

Front

The Virgin
The Virgin

The Virgin

Without
Without

Without

While
While

While

Twice
Twice

Twice

Quickly
Quickly

Quickly

After
After

After

Bury
Bury

Bury

Expired
Expired

Expired

At Least
At Least

At Least

Legitimate
Legitimate

Legitimate

Behind
Behind

Behind

Was
Was

Was

With
With

With

Decomposing
Decomposing

Decomposing

Found
Found

Found

In A
In A

In A

Should
Should

Should

Kills
Kills

Kills

Sense
Sense

Sense

The Chad
The Chad

The Chad

Tries
Tries

Tries

Only
Only

Only

Has
Has

Has

Before
Before

Before

Most
Most

Most

Flies
Flies

Flies

Against
Against

Against

Capture
Capture

Capture

Dug Up
Dug Up

Dug Up

A Fuck
A Fuck

A Fuck

Tell
Tell

Tell

Just One
Just One

Just One

Thinks
Thinks

Thinks

Corpse
Corpse

Corpse

One Night
One Night

One Night

No One
No One

No One

Threats
Threats

Threats

Letting
Letting

Letting

Become
Become

Become

Engaging
Engaging

Engaging

Unattractive
Unattractive

Unattractive

Knows
Knows

Knows

His
His

His

Himself
Himself

Himself

A Few
A Few

A Few

Dozens
Dozens

Dozens

Several
Several

Several

Under The Table
Under The Table

Under The Table

3 To 1
3 To 1

3 To 1

A Long
A Long

A Long

Any
Any

Any

Everyone Knows
Everyone Knows

Everyone Knows

In The
In The

In The

It Is
It Is

It Is

Jokes And
Jokes And

Jokes And

Laugh It Off
Laugh It Off

Laugh It Off

Manly Beard
Manly Beard

Manly Beard

Mocked
Mocked

Mocked

found ON 2018-06-15 01:40:46 BY me.me