Are you telling me that the Teletubbies have, canonically, fucked? Because I am very uncomfortable with that information.
turns out they’re called the tiddlytubbies and they have names
most likely umby pumby is la la’s kid and duggle dee is po’s. Yellow and red make orange, so Po and La La got together to have Ruru.
Nin is purple, so that one is Tinky Winky’s. Dipsy’s is Daa daa because they’re both green. but look at daa daa’s antenna. seems a bit similar to la la’s no? la la and dipsy had some shit on the side.
po, that other cheating fuck, had ping with tinky winky because ping is pink and that’s suspiciously similar to red and purple. also check out that fucking antenna. same as tinky winky’s. can’t hide the facts. po and la la were cheating on each other and now they have a shit ton of kids to pretend aren’t theirs.
tinky winky and dipsy also aren’t innocent in this. the actual color of mi mi is an aqua green. green and blue. dipsy and tinky winky had mi mi AND they probably had Baa too. they had TWO KIDS and they’re off getting some tubby custard on the side.
scandals galore in that damn superdome.
A diagram for everyone who does not understand either. I found that the only pairs who had not had children together according to the above were Po and Dipsy, and Tinkywanky and Lala. Coincidentally Po, Lala and Tinkywanky all have children with only one confirmed parent. Considering the amount of cheating going on here, its quite likely that these children were the product of these pairs which have supposedly not boned. The suspected parents of these children have been indicated with dotted lines. An orgy happened here.
So @eternalstrigoli sent me this asking how it fits in with the Adult Teletubbies lore from my dream. I’m happy to say that it does fit in, although not in the way people expect.
In my dream lore, the Teletubbies on the popular show are actually toddlers, the captive young of a long-lived species of giant ancient cryptid. In my dream, the adult form of the Teletubby was an enormous shambling forest god.
Weirdly, this was supported by the statement from the BBC in the wake of the Gay Tinky Winky conversation, when they argued that the male-identified character’s use of a handbag was innocent, and in no way a marker of his orientation: “Tinky Winky is simply a sweet, technological baby with a magic bag.”
That’s right, the Beeb has stated that Tinky Winky is a baby.
You see, my theory says that the Tiddlytubbies, the reboot’s new “babies”, are indeed older babies or young toddlers. I argue that they are about the equivalent of one-year-old humans. The range could be from about 9 months to 18 months; but I’d say generally you would expect one-year-old humans to do the things the Tiddlytubbies do. They babble, tumble, toddle and play like slightly drunk kittens. They’re at the intersection of baby/toddler; capable of bumbling (toddling) around on their own, and they are reasonably autonomous, but still needing to be cared for and always falling over. In terms of physiology, they do resemble 1-year-olds, with the same physical proportions you would expect in a human of that age.
The Teletubbies, by contrast, are more like… 3 or 4 year olds. They’re toddlers, older ones, not quite school-age: developmentally capable of having short conversations, setting up games and activities, and performing simple self-care (preparing food, putting themselves to bed). In terms of physiology, they do have the cutely rounded/stubby appearance associated with this age of toddlers, who traditionally have those classic potbellies and little round butts that stick out.
And again, the BBC has stated that the Teletubbies are babies, not sexual beings at all.
Thus, I don’t think the existence of the Tiddlytubbies suggests that the Teletubbies from the show produced them. Using the lore from the dream, they are young captive infants, being brought up in the same controlled conditions as the existing older toddlers. Within several years, this new crop of infants may approach the size and development of the existing Original Four. And, perhaps, replacing them…