Things you have to believe to be a Republican today 1 Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton 2 Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a we can't find Bin Ladendiversion 3 Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony 4 The United States should get out of the United Nations and our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq 5 A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation 6 The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veteran's benefits and combat pay 7 If condoms are kept out of schools adolescents won't have sex 8 A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies then demand their cooperation and money 9 Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy but providing health care to all Americans is socialism HMOS and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart 10 Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science but creationism should be taught in schools 11 A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy 12 Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet 13 The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades but George Bush's driving record is none of our business 14 Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime unless you're a conservative radio host Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery 15 You support states' rights but Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell stats what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt 16 What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant Printed List from Liberal Grandma circa 2004 Meme

found ON 2020-01-01 19:48:07 BY ME.ME

source: reddit