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Heaven
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Gym
Gym
family
family
dude
dude
Dogs
Dogs
Dad
Dad
College
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books
books
Bad
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tumblr Follow bitchhpunk debrides I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object say bye bus! & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher mom when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people my lord mugsandpugs1 One time during family prayer dad began our father who art in heaven American Airlines how can I help you? thomrainierskies One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady who was supposed to say Welcome to White Castle what's your crave? asked Welcome to White Castle what's your problem? She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing mirab3lle Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said Welcome to McDonalds and then just sighed Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on and I answered please open your books to page eight and we just kind of stared at each other blinking i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice or say $260 is your total while handing back their change or say how are you doing today? instead of have a good day! like name it ive bungled it but anyway this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said 'few books are well written fewer still are important and this book manages to be both as i handed her the bag i was trying to say thanks youre all set and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said thanks youre important there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said she blinked and then said oh thank youl youre important tool the real kicker was one of my coworkers when i was relating this story later his response was at least you said something NICE last week i accidentally combined youre welcome and 'no problem into youre a problem one time since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers i was on my college campus in my gym and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell and instead of offering to help I just stared and said This is why we use our walking feet we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said yeah okay i should've done that gin-and-eschatonic I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens so I still will reflexively say shit like behind and coming around as I maneuver through spaces and around people which actually not such a bad thing I'm a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily The position calls can help defuse that and also help avoid collisions Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a knife while grocery shopping THAT took some explaining I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day Once my Hello mum as agreed please find attached the ticked you requested Thanks Alex narwhalsarefalling i worked as a camp counselor and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude today asked my cat if he needed something sugar4ndroses I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with how do I have usurped admin only to realise it was external and a board member on the line The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh I have worked in a variety of caférestaurant jobs and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out I said would you like that dog for here or to go? Source debrides 438007 notes Brain glitch stories Meme

found @ 30 likes ON 2019-03-02 02:48:07 BY ME.ME

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