uristmcdor It occurs to me that as much as humans are the scary ones fits sometimes if you look at it another way humans might seem like the absurdly fhiendy or I mean who looked at an elephant gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to and thought Tm gonna ride on that thing And put a human near any canine predator and there's a strong chance of said human yeling PUPPYT and initiating playful interaction with it And what about the people who look at whales bigger than basically everything else and decide Tm gonna swim with our splashy danger friends Heck for all we know humans might run into the scariest toughest alens out there and say Heck with it I'm gonna hug 'enm Why' I dunno I gotta hug 'emm And its ike the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly umanity has a bunch of big scary friends Commander we must update the code of conduct to include the humans Why7 Are they more aggressive than we anticipated? nseems to be the opposite Commander Just this morming a crewman nearly lost their hand when atempting to stroke an unidentified feline on an unknown world Their reaction to the atack was to call the creature a mean kitty and vow to win it over Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readly with creatures outside their species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alen creature they have never seen before simply because it appears distressed I hate to say this commander but we must install a rule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxy's fauna 1 see what you mean So be it from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown animals without permission from a superior officer And send a message to supplies about acquiring one of these puppies so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated Ehehehe I love this Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 00% cuter and more epic Lets be honest the humans would ignore the hell outta that rule whenever alone So 1 hear that you've just recruited a human for your ship Yes #'s the first time that Ive worked with these species but they come highly recommended Say you've worked with a few what tps can you give me? I'd hate to have some kind of cultural misunderstanding f its avoidable The first rule of working with humans is never leave them unsupervised Wait what? Tm serious Dont do it Things Happen But wait I thought that I heard you highly recommended that every crew should have at least one on board? Absolutely and I stand by that Humans are excelent innovators and are psychologically very reslient If you have a crisis then a human that has bonded wth your crew properly can be invaluable Treat your human well and you should get the best out of them as a crew member Their ability to get on with almost any species is legendary But Toks didn't you just say The trouble is that they will potentially try to bond with anything If you leave them unsupervised you have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into It was sheer luck that the Fanzorians thought that it was funny that the human picked up the Crown Prince to coo at him Crown Prince Horram Scourge of Pxia? The very same Surprisingly good sense of humour But don't even get me started on that one ime with the Dunlip Al-Human wanted to know if they could keep it As a pet A Dunlip? You mean the 3 metre tall apex predators from Jowun? Yup Dont leave your humans unsupervised uhtake that under advisement Senousily Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond wilth or they will make their own I mean they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway but without any permanent pets they can get creative Dont even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby Three weeks in and when we finaly caught the wretched thing hailt the humans on crew tried to revolt about us killing Stabby by removing the knfe How how did you resolve that si Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead Quite a creative solution I suppose And that sated the humans? Worse Worse? They thought it was so funny they made a second one strapped false eyes on spings to both and held mock battles Then decided Stabby and Knfey were in love and now none of them will allow the others to stage ights between them any more So if I supply my Humans with safe bonding pets they will behave better when on other planets? Where do I get safe bonding pets ? Realizing the havoc their species created with their bonding needs Earth has been kind enough to create an inter galactic pet shop as they call it the order forms are on the bridge If they get a pet this should prevent any knife welding auto-cleaners? Yes You don't sound very reassuring Well You have to understand that some of what humans find attractive about their pets is actualy what makes them dangerous Not all of what they consider 'safe is what we would consider 'safe OKI am getting a little nervous about this No no its fine I'm just saying you should maybe keep an eye on what they order Ask them to describe the creature before they get t For example the first time I had a human on board I let them order a pet without checking what it was What happened? Well when it arrived it was a 25 pound fanged and clawed feline creature called a Savannah Cat My enire crew was temified of it it was agle and could easily have seriously injured someone but the human had no fear of it They insisted on carrying it around like a child and they would squeeze its beans' as they said forcing the creatures claws out and then they would show people it's deady claws while saying and I quote look at its adorable claws this is what it uses to kils things isnt it Cute? Seriousty? I have also heard stories from other crews that their humans ordered canines that weigh as much or more then they do and they sleep next to the giant creature You are not making me feel better with these stories everythingtromdust Source radioactivepeasant 28157 notes Jan 11h 2017 HFY Meme

found @ 35 likes ON 2019-02-13 21:08:16 BY ME.ME