WARNING!! YOU ARE ABOUT TO RUIN CHRISTMAS!! Our Cat Banjo Is Being Held Against His Will Behind This Door We Are Assholes and He Does Not Deserve This However He Doesn't Like Parties and Will Run Out Into the Cold and Hide in Someone's Garage This Will Ruin Tom's Christmas Which Will Ruin My Christmas You May Hear His Protest You May Feel Compelled to Free This Innocent Cat He's Persuasive He Will Beg You to Open the Door Just a Little He May Purr to Entice You Then He Will Bite You and Run Away if You Free Our Hostage You Will Ruin Christmas There Is Another Bathroom at the End of the Hall My Parents Have a “Festivus” Party Every Year and This Year I Found This Sign on Their Bedroom Door