America
America
apparently
apparently
ass
ass
Dogs
Dogs
England
England
Food
Food
Fucking
Fucking
head
head
Scare
Scare
School
School
shit
shit
Soon...
Soon...
Sorry
Sorry
Teacher
Teacher
The Worst
The Worst
Trolling
Trolling
tumblr
tumblr
twitch
twitch
weird
weird
Windows
Windows
yeah
yeah
Australia
Australia
Birds
Birds
Black
Black
Black and White
Black and White
Blog
Blog
Classroom
Classroom
Cool
Cool
Desk
Desk
Express
Express
Fuck
Fuck
Good
Good
Home
Home
Hospital
Hospital
House
House
Http
Http
Kids
Kids
Mean
Mean
Spirit
Spirit
Time
Time
Travel
Travel
What Is
What Is
White
White
Wild
Wild
Wings
Wings
Nope
Nope
Cold
Cold
Mad
Mad
Old
Old
Hell
Hell
Living
Living
Never
Never
Peace
Peace
Reason
Reason
The Birds
The Birds
Waiting...
Waiting...
Nice
Nice
A Lot Less
A Lot Less
Aggressive
Aggressive
All The
All The
Back
Back
Bike
Bike
idea
idea
another
another
her
her
arc
arc
Dog
Dog
sat
sat
car
car
human
human
act
act
com
com
dash
dash
once
once
next
next
war
war
class
class
flutter
flutter
who
who
emu
emu
high school
high school
source
source
heap
heap
top
top
pet
pet
friend
friend
my way
my way
down
down
group
group
mø
mø
etc
etc
man
man
cheeky
cheeky
open
open
fly
fly
don
don
day
day
why
why
will
will
window
window
did
did
italian
italian
them
them
all
all
first
first
wake
wake
face
face
make
make
magpie
magpie
they
they
surgery
surgery
thing
thing
park
park
you
you
hurling
hurling
yard
yard
call
call
inside
inside
the spirit
the spirit
lie
lie
stay
stay
solo
solo
post
post
sign
sign
the source
the source
what
what
times
times
parking
parking
order
order
for
for
months
months
stranger
stranger
this is it
this is it
parrots
parrots
massive
massive
fine
fine
the car
the car
lose
lose
href
href
smug
smug
in america
in america
used
used
negotiation
negotiation
look
look
kookaburra
kookaburra
feels
feels
this
this
wake up
wake up
get
get
please
please
high
high
stop
stop
great
great
joke
joke
like
like
sure
sure
country
country
when you
when you
this is
this is
bed
bed
worst
worst
interesting
interesting
tell me
tell me
people
people
humans
humans
do you
do you
find
find
walking
walking
we were cool
we were cool
room
room
necessary
necessary
eyes
eyes
delicious
delicious
just
just
then
then
fence
fence
vengeance
vengeance
because
because
outside
outside
tried
tried
harass
harass
wait
wait
ripped
ripped
pram
pram
pull up
pull up
amour
amour
and then
and then
what the
what the
threatening
threatening
those
those
beware
beware
went
went
came
came
gallifrey
gallifrey
pile
pile
birdie
birdie
anyone
anyone
my friend
my friend
bounce off
bounce off
hurry
hurry
every time
every time
with you
with you
carefully
carefully
bastards
bastards
i would
i would
bothered
bothered
pretty
pretty
literally
literally
bounce
bounce
stare
stare
their
their
go to
go to
nobody
nobody
swooping
swooping
usually
usually
inquiry
inquiry
riding
riding
assault
assault
actual
actual
were
were
tidy
tidy
there
there
traits
traits
magpies
magpies
fact
fact
pedestrian
pedestrian
minute
minute
treaty
treaty
sociopathic
sociopathic
purpose
purpose
apologetic
apologetic
no
 no
called
 called
way
 way
minutes
 minutes
left
 left
wrong
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later
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said
 said
year
 year
around
 around
years
 years
ten
 ten
none
 none
peck
 peck
kill
 kill
bird
 bird
my back
 my back
strange
 strange
the way
 the way
no idea
 no idea
came back
 came back
my teacher
 my teacher
mysterious
 mysterious
living room
 living room
tumblr blog
 tumblr blog
i am pretty
 i am pretty
parking lot
 parking lot
fucking shit
 fucking shit
a little bit
 a little bit
face-and-people
face-and-people
next-ten-years
next-ten-years
out
out
attack
attack
out-of-my-way
out-of-my-way
self
self
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
None
And
And
Flying
Flying
Other
Other
Here
Here
I Am
I Am
Brutal
Brutal
Emu War
Emu War
When
When
A Lot
A Lot
You Mean
You Mean
That
That
Fucking Brutal
Fucking Brutal
But
But
Not
Not
Where
Where
Effort
Effort
Icecream
Icecream
The Joke
The Joke
Satisfied
Satisfied
Going Out
Going Out
Your Weird
Your Weird
Fuck Shit Up
Fuck Shit Up
You Mean To Tell Me
You Mean To Tell Me
What The Actual Fuck
What The Actual Fuck
Shovel
Shovel
The
The
The First
The First
Long
Long
A Good
A Good
From
From
Basically
Basically
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Polite
Polite
Yeah Man
Yeah Man
Your
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Take
Take
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Bedroom
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Kind
Kind
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Pull
Pull
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The Fact That
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Spent
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Grandmas
Grandmas
After
After
Mad Dash
Mad Dash
Turned
Turned
Shit Up
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Actual Fuck
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Had To
Had To
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20 Minutes
Was
Was
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Are
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Have
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Tumblr Com
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The People
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America, Apparently, and Ass: zornsable:
reversingyourpolarity:

elidyce:

seananmcguire:

priscellie:

ecnamor-lacimehc-ym:

gallifrey-feels:

sociopathic-italian-grandmas:

millshouse:

meganiun:

happyvegetable:

kennilworthy-thisp:

derinthemadscientist:

lumoslouis:

soloontherocks:

amour-vengeance:

later-homenuggets:

my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
motherfucking australia

if there was a post to describe australia, this is it

wait. 
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?

wake up australia 

That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit

It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.

Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do

yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes

why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.

My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.

no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange

what the actual fuck australia 

I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke.

Nope.
Went there.
Parrots tried to take our car.
Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY.

Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile.
There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started. 
I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool. 
Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots. 

Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled. 

They did lose the Emu War, after all.

zornsable: reversingyourpolarity: elidyce: seananmcguire: priscellie: ecnamor-lacimehc-ym: gallifrey-feels: sociopathic-italian-grandmas: millshouse: meganiun: happyvegetable: kennilworthy-thisp: derinthemadscientist: lumoslouis: soloontherocks: amour-vengeance: later-homenuggets: my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait.  you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? wake up australia  That’s what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal. My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange what the actual fuck australia  I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke. Nope. Went there. Parrots tried to take our car. Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY. Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile. There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started.  I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool.  Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots.  Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled. They did lose the Emu War, after all.

zornsable reversingyourpolarity elidyce seananmcguire priscellie ecnamor-lacimehc-ym gallifrey-feels sociopathic-italian-grandmas millshouse meganiun happyvegetable kennilworthy-thisp derinthemadscientist lumoslouis soloontherocks amour-vengeance later-homenuggets my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face the cheeky shit motherfucking australia if there was a post to describe australia this is it wait you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird? that in australia you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia what is wrong with you? wake up australia That’s what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit It’s cold here so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face and people get their eyes ripped out and shit it’s fucking brutal My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange what the actual fuck australia I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive globally-spanning trolling effort and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke Nope Went there Parrots tried to take our car Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human In the spirit of inquiry I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned I was fine Every time the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I we were cool Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation and the little bastards travel in flocks Beware the parrots Australia the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled They did lose the Emu War after all Meme

found @ 26 likes ON 2019-02-14 01:44:20 BY ME.ME

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