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Ass, Cinderella , and Click: kaylapocalypse:  ok  so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you should. Like… if you’re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn’t do it justice. The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific.  I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture. This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only like 1 minute long. Highlights/Breakdown The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast.  the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of “Please! Monster!” Fiona’s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around–strength that he disregards which is why hes surprised as hell when he gets his ass beat Just the entire french accent that isn’t even a good french accent at all. The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background  Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore™; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like “yikesssss” shrek’s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the “saucy little maid” bit.  “what hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.”  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging “wtf” gestures.  When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek’s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like “wow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison” which is additionally apart of the above long running joke Fiona interrupting robin with a kick. the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock.  The fight after isn’t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef* Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.
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Amazon, Chrome, and Destiny: a Live Chat with Amazon.com- Google Chrome https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/c45e-9461b3f74d40&token &callMeC2Cld-e7bd2 Sound End Chat 3 Chat You are now connected to Amazon from Amazon.com Me: Tracking shows delivered but shipment not recieved Amazon: Warmest greetingsmy name is Thor Me: Greeting, Thor. Can I be Odin? Odin, Father, How art thy doing on this here fine day? Amazon: Thor, my son. Agony raises upon my life Me: Amazon: This is outrageous! Who dares defy The All Father Odin! What has occured to cause this agony? Me: I am afraid the book I ordered to defeat our enemies has been misplaced. How can we keep Valhalla intact without our sacred book. Amazon: This is blasphemy! Wherever this book has been taken to, I shall make it my duty to get it back to youl I fear it is Loki but I dare not blame him for such things. I shall have your fortune returned to you and thereafter we can begin to create a new quest in order to get the book back to you. Very well my son. Me: Allow me some time to round up my allies and complete this please Father. Amazon: Me: Do it for me Thor, but most imporantly do it for the mortals whose destiny (and grades) rely on this book. Amazon: Alas, the treasure has been returned to you. You now need to reinstate the book into your archive so that you may yet receive it soon I shall have the Valkyrie deliver it to you as fast as their wings can move Me: ok so roleplay aside i have my money back and i reorder the book haha yes I have refunded you and you need to reorder the book Amazon: Me: Great Have you placed the order Amazon: Me: let me do that done Amazon: Okay let me edit it for you That good? Me: Wow hooking me up with one day delivery? Sweet haha yeah man gotta get you your book asap! Amazon: Me: Ive heard Amazon had great customer service and this just proves it! thanks man Amazon: No problemIs there any other issue or question that I can help you with? Me: Nah that was it. Really appreciate it Anytime bro. Have a great day. Goodbye Odin Amazon: Me: Bye my son Send Amazon from Amazon.com is online Secure Connection lolzandtrollz:Best Customer Service Ever

lolzandtrollz:Best Customer Service Ever

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Bad, Definitely, and Google: //sample ansvers from various interviews 178//Question: Write code to find out if a nunber is odd. 179 //Candidate: Qk give me a minute sounds of typing 180 /Candidate: My ansver is voice changes noticeably from speaking-voice to reading-voice //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100 182 //Me suspecting that the candi 183 I/Candidate: It means that ve find the percentage of i in 2 googled it*: ok, and can you explain to me what does that line mean? 2 Why are ve f 14 //I walked the candidate through this code carefully single"in the last two lines. This is a candidate who had 8 years total experience twice. There are no typos, not the " 1", and not the 186 //Me "with a nice voice but nalicious intent* : I understand that it is complicated. Have you ever used this tore //Candidate "with obvious reliet: No,never! This is my first tine using it 18 /Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100 100; rtil) 193 194 //Question: Find all the odd numbers between 0-100 //Candidate: I am sorry, I have forgotten the exact formala for finding odd numbers 23 //candidate said that finding only the odd numbers was too difficult, and this nethod will find ALL numbers, so 196 /Candidate: I understand, but I cannot recall the formala, so I cannot find these numbers 27 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100 200 /Question: Can you tell me about your professional history? //candidate: I try my absolute best to make ธure that my code does not have too many errors before I take it 29 30 the odd numbers between 0 and 205 /Question: Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of coreot'hinunitt? completely the odd numbers between 0-100 211 I/Me: And if I fixed the syntax errors, will it work then? 213 214 //Me: And why is that2 //Candidate: It has logic errors, too you like //Candidate: I have been programming for 10 years. 5 years as a hobby, and 5 professionally. know PHP, Ruby JS (including both node, angular), MongoDB, Myso, PostgresoL, and more /Me: Nice. What have //candidate: In the 5 years where I worked professionally, I have worked in 4 companies as a webdex. I have multiples sites up, all done from scratch. Some I developed solo, and sone as part of a team. I do both front-end and back-end development. I am ready to tackle any challenge! /Me: ok. using your language of choice, can you find all the odd numbers between 0-1002 7 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betwveen 0-100 you used your skills for? 50 I/I asked the candidate what this code was supposed to do, and the candidate replied: "I do not want to ansver 1 //So I tried again. Same candidate, next question: Find the sun of all integers betveen 0-100 3 //Me:"Ok and if I wanted this done in Javascript? more than this." 222 //Candidate: tries for about 3 minutes 223 I/Candidate: I cannot do this. My skill in mathematics is not high enough 6 I/This was the most experienced candidate, with 19 years of professional experience. Nineteen, no typo. This 226 candidate was programming professionally before many of you were born. /This situation happened with two different candidates. Their responses were worded differently, but the was the same //Me: Ok, I want to ask you a couple of programming questions. Do you have a paper and pen or pencil with you? 0 //Question: Assuming you have two integers, x and y, with y bigger than x. Sum all the numbers from x to y 230 //Me: ok.Using your preferred programming language, find all the odd nunbers between 0 and 1002 Example: If x is 1, and y is 5, then sum 1+2+3+4+5 232 /Me: Yes. Write your code down, and when you are done, read it to me, and then ve can go through it 233 //Candidate: But that is impossible! How can I write code without using a computer? 4+i 237 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100. Note that this was a phone interview 67 //What is happening here? Your guess is as good as mine. Candidate had no idea what this code was supposed to do 239 IMe: I am trying to test your programming skills, not your Google-search skills 240 //Candidate: Baha, right! But İf 1 use Google, how will you know? 241 /Me: I wil1 ask you similar questions in the face-to-face interview 1 //Question: Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of 13 246 //One of the worst interviews that I had, that made me feel genuinely bad, was this one.I tried to capture the mood of how it went, as I did not get to see any code Some of the actions I describe are what I assume happened on the other end of the phone, based on the sounds that I heard //Me: Greetings! Thanks for letting me interview you. Are you ready and prepared? 247 249 //Me: Alright! Let us start. *İntroductions and a bit of relaxing amantalk, candidate is very cool. Qk, so your resume lists about 5 different programming languages.Are you good in all of them /candidate: I am good in Javaacript and PHP, and ak in Java 81 //Out of curiosity, I asked: "Why is the answer a double?" 82 //Candidate "Because it needs to store the value taken from _two variables. so which is your f 252 //Candidate: Definitely avascript! I did a lot of work in Javascript! 253 /Me: That is good. Can I ask you a question or two in Tavascript 6 //Make a standard deck of cards. Shuftle the deck, and draw two cards at random. Display the two cards Are you 256 //candidate: Yes, yes. I am on the line! ask you a questi can try my best to ansver gentle gloves, ve are not trying to break the candidate Qk. so you know what odd are, right? for (let count Yes Yes,I know odd number 261 /Me: ok. so ny question is this. Using your favourite language, Javascript, can you find all the odd numbers 8 //This was slowly and painstak used for the second part which only had two cards, while no loop was used for the cards... but I decided against the odd numbers ok. Why don't you t then read fter you are //Candidate 'excited and breathless: YES! Yes,yes! scribbling/scratching for about two minutes, then some furious scribbling for a minute, then the fast breathing, but no seribbling sounds 1 1/9uestion: Find all the odd numbers betuween 03 05 assuming x and lieve the candidate put the phone down, and started writing. I could hear some gentl y, someone crossing out many lines on a paper. Then came a minute /Candidate "voice completely broken //Me "making a fatal error of judgement by asking: Is everything ak the odd numbers...uhh think..L the odd... the odd nunbers alm, polite email, much later that this time I regret that I must decline the perplexing, let me Candidate takes the last once to make not, then you add you add odd, then you add 2 Disregarding the sundry minor errors in the code, the logic behind functional, but ribly inefficient two cards at random. Display the two cards 27 var arr-i,2,3, 4,5, 6,7,,9,10,.0K' ar arrl ar two- 36 t (pos arr pos 50 51 52 ition] push (arrti for (wamath finalArr var indexeeArr.indexof (nevArrti] val 72 //Behold this masterpiece! Read it slow and savour every 1ine, for beauties like this come once fetine SWE interview in Saudi Arabia

SWE interview in Saudi Arabia

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Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story. xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy xxx: You're gonna love this ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time" xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those I found this on an old Git account
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Fucking, Internet, and Lol: tash @yeahstyles * Follow my uber driver just threatened to drive the car off a cliff help me Uber Support e @Uber Support Follow UBER @yeahstyles That is absolutely not okay. Please DM us your email address associated to your Uber account so we can follow up. RETWEETS LIKES 2,780 1,945 2:14 AM-20 Mar 2016 twlboaj: verticalfrontalsomething: yourpaperpal: kirsty-not-kristy: amoxli: ok so I don’t usu reblog this stuff here but last year I had a horrible experience with an Airbnb host who threatened to bust my kneecaps, stalk me and murder me right? And not only did I GO TO THE POLICE before cancelling the reservation, but I also provided copies of that documentation to Airbnb customer service (I should mention after hunting down that number in the depths of the stupid internet and being on hold for an hour). Did they give me a refund for the months I’d paid in advance? No - they accused me of lying! A few weeks later in a fit of desperation, a coworker suggested I tweet to Airbnb. Ok. I have maybe 30 followers on Twitter, and didn’t really use it at the time, but I thought, fuck it. Nothing to lose now. I made a half assed attempt at an overly indignant tweet with plenty of capitalization, and you know what happened? Within the HOUR. It was taken down. I was DMed by a CSR. And I was given a FULL. REFUND. $1500 like THAT. I don’t know what kind of dystopic fucking reality we live in where police reports mean nothing and the PR value from a half assed tweet to 30 followers outweighs the safety of my kneecaps, but. Social media… Lesson learned, I guess. Rebooting this addition because holy shit??? Corporations care way more about their brand than your safety. Exploit that. I had to send an angry tweet at my power company. Within twenty minutes, I was getting a phone call, and my problem was fixed by the time I left the massage appointment I had. Okay so this is important and all but original post is a joke that’s literally a picture of Harry Styles lol
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Children, Christmas, and Cute: BBQ not n ORGY 61 Online now 7 miles away BBQ not n ORGY 61 Online now 1 7 miles away 5th annual 4th of July BBQ June 30th from1 until ? Why do 90% of u think this is an orgy? t's not t's open to all Is it because I'm on this app? I try to invite all types of people men, women, gay, bi, str8, trans doesn't matter to me. Height Weight Ethnicity Body Type 6'0" 240 lbs White Stocky Gender Man BBQ not n ORGY 7 miles away Sun, Jun 17 Hey 2:47 PM Today I'm having my annual BBQ June 30th from 1pm until? slow cook pig, chicken wings, hamburgers, fish and vegetarian meals. No cost just bring your own booze. Sodas, tea, water is provided. Please feel free to bring ur wife, partner or just a date. This party is open to men, women, families. Gay, str8, bi, and the unknown. 3:48 PM Say something i-care-to-live: culdeefell: lumbaghini: consultingdoctorwholock: loki-against-onision: libertarirynn: keyhollow: klubbhead: gaypussyretard: panzerkampfwagentigerrausfb: libertybill: cecaeliawitch: radical-f: girlsmoonsandstars: kittyit: darren-fucking-chriss: verysiriusly: legendarylangst: mnemophile: gonefashion: psyducked: heterophobiac: This is the most bizarre yet pure thing I’ve ever encountered on grindr Are you going? these guys went and said it was wholesome and fun! and look what he said https://www.buzzfeed.com/juliareinstein/grindr-bbq-not-orgy?utm_term=.ur27oKlpv#.yfXpzGdkZ update: he had a thanksgiving dinner and is having a christmas dinner in case y’all missed out on the bbq!! lgb-bq :’) The guy is a registered sex offender. Kidnapping of a minor and sexual assault. http://sexoffender.ncsbi.gov/details.aspx?SRN=011019S7 a serial child rapist trying to get “families” to attend his bbq. jesus christ god damn it it was literally shady from the fact that he posted it to Grindr like of course he was trying to reach a specific audience no wonder his family doesn’t talk to him Holy fuck i used to really like this post, thought it was cute. shame. Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan Well this took an unpleasant turn since the last time I saw it No worries @loki-against-onision , I got one Ok, so, I researched this. I read his court files. What this guy did was he let two young couples who wanted to have sex away from their parents’ eyes into his house. Here’s a “statement of the facts” from an appeal after he was convicted: “Fourteen-year-old Stephanie was dating 18 year-old Timothy Cutshall; fifteen-year-old Rachelle was dating 23 year-old Chris Hall.  On the night in question, Hall and Cutshall asked the defendant to let them use his house for a liaison with the girls. The girls lied to their parents about where they were going, went to the defendant’s house, and had sex with Cutshall and Hall; the defendant never had sex with either girl. “The evidence was in conflict as to whether the defendant knew that the girls were underage.  There was no evidence that he knew they were younger enough than the men to render their otherwise consensual intercourse statutory rape.  Finally, there was no evidence that he knew that the girls did not have their parents’ permission to go to his house. Nonetheless, the defendant was convicted of aiding and abetting statutory rape, second degree kidnapping, and taking indecent liberties with children.” The person who shared his sex offender registry completely made up the “sexual assault” charge, and “kidnapping” didn’t sit right with me, so I looked into it. What actually happened was complicated. What it looks like to me is this dude, possibly under the influence of the alcohol he said ruined his life, made a stupid decision to trust these kids and had some creative prosecutors throw the book at him in every way they could think of. Wow that’s way worse. BBQ man is un-canceled. Let’s try and give him some happiness, he’s had shit luck. can we acknowledge how important CONTEXT is when we are “exposing” peoples lives, past, and especially convictions? thanks.
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