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Dad, Grandma, and Head: Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery On yeah, every time that dad forgets mom is dead, we head to the cemetery so he can see her gravestone. WHAT I can't tell you how many times I've heard some version of this awful story. Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery Seniously, I cringe every single time someone tells me about their plan" to remind a loved one that their loved one is dead I also hear this a lot: 1 keep reminding mom that her sister is dead, and sometimes she recalls it once I've said it. That's still not a good thing. Why are we trying to force people to remember that their loved ones have passed away? If your loved one with dementia has lost track of their timeline, and forgoten that a loved one is dead, don't remind them. What's the point of reintroducing that kind of pain? Here's the thing they will forget again, and they will ask again. You're never, ever, ever, going to "convince them of something permanently Instead, do this Dad, where do you think mom is? When he tells you the answer, repeat that answer to him and assert that it sounds correct. For example, it he says, "1 think mom is at work,"say, "Yes, that sounds right, I think she must be at work. it he says, 1 think she passed away say, Yes, she passed away People like the answer that they gave you. Also, it takes you off the hook to come up with something" that satisfies them. Then, twenty minutes later when they ask where mom is, repeat what they originally told you drgaellon I support this sentiment. Repeatedly reminding someone with faulty memory that a loved one has died isn't a kindness, it's a cruelty. They have to relieve the loss every time, even if they don't remember the grief 15 minutes later In other words, don't try to impose your timeline on them in order to make yourself feel better. Correcting an afflicted dementia patient will not cure them They won't magically return to your real world'. No matter how much you might want them to. It's a kindness of old age, forgetting. Life can be very painful. Don't be the one ripping off the bandage every single time prismatic-bell I used to work as a companion in a nursing home where one of the patients was CONVINCED I was her sister, who'd died 40 years earlier. And every time one of the nurses said ื“hat's not Janet, Janet is dead, Alice, remember?" Alice would start sobbing So finally one day Alice did the whole JANET IS HERE and this nurse rather nastily went Janet is dead and before it could go any furtherI said "excuse mer?? How dare you say something so horrible to my sister?" The nurse was pissed, because I was feeding Alice's delusions. Alice didn't have delusions. Alice had Alzheimer's. But I made sure it went into Alice's chart that she responded positively to being allowed to believe I was Janet. And from that point forward, only my specific patient referred to me as-Nina. in front of Alice-everyone else called me Janet. and when Alice said my name wasn't Nina I just said "oh, it's a nickname, that's all."It kept her calm and happy and not sobbing every time she saw me It costs zero dollars (and maybe a little bit of fast thinking) to not be an asshole to someone wah Alzheimer's or dementia. Be kind I wish I had heard this stuft when Grandma was still here satr9 I read once that you have to treat dementia patilents more like it's improv, like you have to take what they say and say to yourself ok, and" and give them more of a story to occupy them and not just shut it down with something super harsh A nurse I used to work with always told us: Tf a man with dementia is trying to get out of bed to go to work, don't tell him he's 90 and in a nursing home. Tell him it's Sunday and he can stay in bed. If a woman with dementia is trying to stand because she wants to get her husband's dinner out of the oven, don't tel her he's been dead for 20 years. Tell her you'll do for her and she can sit back down Always remembered that, always did it. Nothing worse than hearing someone with memory loss ask the same question over and over again only to be met with: "We already told youl" Just tell them again steel-phoenix I've worked with elderly dementia patients, and I agree with all the above. Treat them as you'd like to be treated in the same situation ruby-white-rabbit Same. I've worked with patients like these and even my grandma was convinced for a day that I was my aunt. Just roll with it lazulisong My go-to response to someone asking if I've seen a dead loved one is "I haven't seen them today, but if I do I'll let them know you were looking for them. Cause you know what, if I DID see them I wouild tell them, so it always comes out sounding truthtul Source dementiabyday.com 99.289 notes PSA for those whose loved ones have dementia
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Animals, Bad, and Cats: vet-and-wild The weird wavs l 've accidentally trained my cat to wake me up I can't stand animals that are obnoxious in the mornings when they want to get up and be fed. So, l've taken a pretty hard stance on ignoring obnoxious morning behavior to avoid reinforcing it. However, Garrus is a very fast learner, and he's noticed that there's a few things I'm really bad at ignoring. I've created the most bizarre alarm 1. Chowing on my phono oord. Ho only dooo it in tho morning when he wants me to get up. I've never seen him do it any other time. It's really hard for me to ignore my cat chewing on something plugged into an outlet. And so I have accidentally trained him to chew on it when I'm being stubborn and I don't want to get out of bed. Solution: unplug the phone and go back to sleep. 2. Swatting at my curtains. He likes to do it when he has the night zoomies and l'm trying to sleep instead of giving him attention. It's a really annoying sound. Like, REALLY annoying. And in my half-asleep state, my initial response was to grumble and tell him to knock it off. Didn't work so well for a cat that is doing an obnoxious behavior to get attention He didn't care that I was yelling at him-he was getting the attention he wanted. The one time l was just too exhausted to deal with him and didn't respond, he gave up pretty quickly. That'o whon I roalizod ho'd boon playing mo. Now I juot ignore it and he stops pretty fast. 3. Changing the temperature on my snake's HerpStat. I don't even know how he started this one, but one day I was lounging in my bed in the morning and I heard the HerpStat beeping like it does when the temp has been changed. And l panicked because I didn't want my snake being burnt to a crisp! Big mistake. My sudden movement out of bed reinforced Garrus, and for the next few days l'd wake up to beeping. I don't know if he was biting it, or nudging it, or what but my attempts to scold him only caused him to make happy "murrrrp" noises because I was acknowledging his presence. I have now placed the HerpStat in a high open drawer so he can't reach it. But I'm still kind of in shock that he learned to do this. Little punk. l think Pavlov is laughing at me clickercake Accidentally reinforced behaviors are an absolute riot clickerpunk Omg my mornings are EXACTLY like this. But my cat has discovered that if she scratches the floor i shoot out of bed because i dont want her peeing on the floor or something.. The moment i sit up in bed she goes "brrrp!" because im awake.. Damn smart cats Source: vet-and-wild 287 notes Cat training

Cat training

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