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The first conversation between myself and my (now) girlfriend: YOU MATCHED WITH ON 24/10/18 Important question: when you do finger guns, do you stick up both pointer and middle finger or just pointer? Wed, 24 Oct, 8:20 am Both? Haha Wed, 24 Oct, 9:25 pm What about sounds? What do you do when you shoot? Pew pew? Haha Say we had a duel and I whipped out both hands, would that be too far? Hmm...you better be prepared for when i wip out two hands pew pew sounds* "I dodgeroll to the nearest table flipping it in one swift motion for cover * flips table in slow motion puts finger guns to head* Are you feelin lucky...punk? sweat beads down my forehead* Ok, ok, you got me "you feel a finger poke the back of your head* You hear a somewhat familiar Boston accent say "Do you?" You turn around and to your surprise you see Danny Devito standing behind you. He's on my side gulp *slowly lowers fingers guns Chill..violence is NOT the answer, okay?. jumps up and shoots Danny in the shoulder* *you feel a finger gun on your back, you slowly turn to see Clint Eastwood behind you *the cold finger on my back sends a shiver down my spine* "He starts whistling This is the End by The Doors, great song. "This is how I wish to go out"I say calmly, accepting my fate Are you are fucking writer? And then boom I open my eyes to see that I am still alive and well. Not Clint However I look at you in shock as you lower your finger gun. Clint collapses to the ground "You're welcome" you say I wish Imao " wait, why did i shoot him?.."i ask, very confused... "You fall to the ground, you're about to faint I rush over to you to catch you Succeeding You go cold then all of a sudden a shadow rushes over you Danny Devito's possession got it's revenge* We both wave the white flag and go grab a couple of drinks laughing about what just took place " cheers", i say, holding my basic white bitch drink over to yours (vodka soda) The first conversation between myself and my (now) girlfriend
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Yooo I swear porn be so abusive some times. Before ya meat even hard they talking shit to you. I come to porn for a piece of mind and a NUT and here comes the infamous โ€œTired of looking at pornโ€ no bitch Iโ€™m not. If I did I would not be sitting here with my dick in my hand and a towel under me to catch booty sweat. Yo they be lying in all in them ads too. The โ€œWant to chat hot moms in your neighborhood?โ€ Why yes, yes I do. I seen some bad milf titties took up half the profile avatar. You click with hope and excitement then boom they asking for credit card information. Like what if I just want to talk my problems out, someone to be my pen pal. They just assume I want sex. More proof men donโ€™t cheat.: *Gets on Pornhub* Woman on Porn Ad: "Are you serious maturbating right now??.. Yooo I swear porn be so abusive some times. Before ya meat even hard they talking shit to you. I come to porn for a piece of mind and a NUT and here comes the infamous โ€œTired of looking at pornโ€ no bitch Iโ€™m not. If I did I would not be sitting here with my dick in my hand and a towel under me to catch booty sweat. Yo they be lying in all in them ads too. The โ€œWant to chat hot moms in your neighborhood?โ€ Why yes, yes I do. I seen some bad milf titties took up half the profile avatar. You click with hope and excitement then boom they asking for credit card information. Like what if I just want to talk my problems out, someone to be my pen pal. They just assume I want sex. More proof men donโ€™t cheat.
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