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Dude, Fafsa, and Lawyer: Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.
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Dude, Fafsa, and Lawyer: Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.
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Driving, Friends, and Fuck You: today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said "thanks" and half of me tried to say you're welcome and the other half tried to say "no problem and i ended up saying "your problem Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext playing soccer in gym ball is up in the air think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal -try miss bal >kick goale in the face stry to ask Are you okay and "I'm fucking sorry at the same time sinstead end up yelling "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY? goalie is choking back tears this post had me in tears I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they're not, so i'll add my story for anyone else looking for more laughs: I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between "I have to pay a fine" and "I have to pay a fee" and I walked in and firmly stated "I have to pee" and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago andI still haven't been back, My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so l tried to say "quick" and "fast" at the same time and I ended up screaming "QUACK" which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn philip-the-nickel in volleyball in tenth grade my team lost almost every single game but PRAYING that we would win and all of my teammates started cheering but instead of yelling encouragement I accidentally yelled "DEAR this one time we were ahead and I was sitting on the bench literally for my friend who was about to serve and I tried to join in the cheers HEAVENLY FATHER one of my friends (ankesh) was playing soccer and was about to get nailed in the face and another of my friends tried to say "watch out ankesh" and said "WONKESH" I was in the car with my sister and we were arguing and I was caught between yelling "fight me" and "fuck you" at her, so I just ended up screaming "FUCK ME!" at her aRe YoU fUcKiNg SoRrY?
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Dude, Fafsa, and Lawyer: Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.
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Clothes, College, and Confused: Walmart Dress Code Freedom of Choice Walmart Associate Dress Code Color Guide You have a lot of freedom when dressing for work. Here's a range of the dress-code compliant colors Tops Lightest Darkest amkrii: akornzombie: siryouarebeingmocked: diarrheaworldstarhiphop: siryouarebeingmocked: friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt: thes3nator: counterclockworkminds: the-dao-of-the-zerg: left-reminders: “Freedom of choice” under capitalism Hey now, that looks like nearly 50% of a color! Half a color worth of freedom. You can’t get that with the competition, which requires you to wear exactly one shade. We give you five different shades! Innovation, that’s what this is. Raw, capitalistic innovation. Now you’ve got a full half a color worth of freedom. So, I worked for a big name department store. I was happy when I came in and they said I could pick my own outfits, I just had to stick to ‘dark colors’ (dark blue, red, black, etc) and look business professional. Oh and only ½ print at most (printed top). Coming from a call center (I went into retail to help pay for college) pretty much all of my current clothes were fine. It was great! I even could wear my red dress that everyone loved because it was ‘on brand’.A few months in I find out that the only reason I could wear color at all was because of a state supreme court decision that said forcing only one color counted as a uniform, and that if it was a uniform the company had to pay. So across the river my fellow associates could only wear black, but whatever ‘business professional’ clothes they wanted.What a liberal dress code! /s How come we haven’t seen any walmart employees wear dresscode compliant fursuits yet? wearing a different shade of blue fursuit each day of the work week is direct action. Is there any petty, inane thing that people like OP can’t blame on capitalism? Yes, OP would tooootallyyy love to go into a walmart in a hurry and be fucking confused as to who to ask for help cus every employee wears what ever the fuck they want I somehow got confused for an employee all the time even when my uniform didn’t match the joint I was in. Heck, I got mistaken the other day, when I waited around in a food store for someone in my Sunday best, even though all the employees were in t-shirts.Me, not the person. They must’ve thought I was security. Huh. I’ve been at my weekend job, in my work shirt (black polo with the company name embroidered on the sleeve, with name tag) and had people ask me “ do you work here? ” “No. I just cosplay as a Wal-mart employee because misery is my kink.”
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Bailey Jay, Love, and Phone: r/AskReddit u/ShOtgunLlama 13h What is the dumbest solution to a problem that actually worked? 會27.7h 14.9k Share Stellapotamus 8h I went to cancel a doctor's appointment and they said it was a $200 charge without a week's notice.I asked how much it was to reschedule, they said it was free "Okay, so I need to reschedule for two weeks out." "Is three weeks okay?" "Yep." "Alright, you're all set for three weeks from now Anything else I can do for you?" "Yes, I need to cancel my appointment." "We need a week's notice." "My appointment is three weeks away." "Oh. Okay. Sure." Thank you." Couldn't believe it worked. Reply3 hotmolasses fattyatomicmutant wivernryder The auxiliary water pump on my car broke (the plastic rotted and cracked so it was spewing coolant everywhere) and the mechanic wanted me to pay $300 for a $150 part. I went to an auto store and bought the part for just under $150 and was gonna have the mechanic install it until I called them back and they said they don't install customer parts So I figured if they won't install customer parts, they"ll at least fix existing problems with the vehicle So, naturally I poorly installed the new part myself, then took it to the mechanic saying I had coolant issues and wasn't sure what the problem was. They fixed the problem in under 20 minutes and only charged me $30 for the labor Holy Imma try that last one I went to my doctor's office and asked if they had any slots open for that day They told me they don't take walk-ins, you have to call ahead for an appointment. So I pulled out my phone and called the office. The other receptionist answered the phone and the first one literally WATCHED ME say "ld like to make an appointment today if you have any slots available He said to me (on the phone) all they had available was for 9:00, could I make it in time? l said "Yep, I'm standing right here." He didn't understand what I meant and happily put my appointment down. I hung up and said to the original receptionist, "Hi, I have an appointment in five minutes." She (very angrily) entered me as arrived and gave me my forms I love it when Askreddit discussions spill over to tumblr

I love it when Askreddit discussions spill over to tumblr

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Beautiful, College, and Dude: Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce illicitmemedealer: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages The gay agenda was to legalize same sex marriage so that everyone regardless of sex/gender can scam the government out of money for college, and honestly I think that’s beautiful
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Another One, Bad, and Beef: work theater ab a movie and when sklnny biEches order diet, coke.laive them regular. Wahahahaha pomrania: fibrochemist: iambloggingthat: tired-philosopher: prismatic-bell: trickstersgambit: greenteamoon: 40yodater: fiaspice: carnistprivilege: evilythedwarf: untapdtreasure: willowfae82: minnigem: iopele: obstinate-nocturna: sailornightfury: toboldlygowherethewinchestersare: classykatelyn: housebuiltbyghosts: kimchicutie: acorn-burglar: theforcekeepers: DO NOT DO THIS. This makes me so angry. If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you. My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic. When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die. If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded. Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing. Please signal boost this so people know. This also applies to baristas Fun story about the baristas doing this kind of shit.  I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte. 5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it. Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm. So remember kiddies, if someone is asking for Diet or “Skinny” or “soy” or anything that is not regular, give them what they requested because it may not be them being healthy, but a dietary need that can possibly be life or death also if they ARE trying to be healthy you should give it to them to!! Its not your decision to police or question others food choices!!!  also im lactose intolerant AND ive had stomach infections/ulcers so i feel this.  I have Celiac Disease, so I’m very gluten intolerant. When I go out to eat at restaurants a lot of people just assume that I asked for my food gluten free because of the gluten free diet fad (which is usually a bullshit diet btw).  Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time. But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less). Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal. So PLEASE, if you work at a restaurant or anything with food and someone asks for something a certain way, please listen to them and don’t just disregard someone’s order. It’s not funny and it can have serious consequences. I will reblog this with every single story about someone getting sick because of an asshole giving them the opposite of what they ordered until it sinks in for everyone. Recently on the news a 16 year old boy with a dairy allergy had gone to eat at IHOP with his family. The specifically asked if they could make dairy free pancakes and they said yes. Not too long after he had a reaction and was rushed to the hospital. This kid died because the was dairy in his pancakes that they asked for no dairy. His epi pen that his mother had wasn’t enough to help him. I know working in fast food or any job that’s serves food and beverage sucks but not as much as causing someone to get sick over negligence. My youngest cousin – who is now five, he just started kindergarten – has Celiac’s disease. You would not BELEIVE the amount of times I’ve heard my aunt say she’s ordered something gluten free, only to watch the waiter or waitress’s eyes go huge when she gives it to my cousin – my cousin with the medical id band on his tiny five year old wrist proclaiming I HAVE CELIACS and have to take it back.Shit like this could kill my cousin. Knock it the fuck off. I cannot tolerate caffeine–it makes me have chest pain and a racing pulse, and also gives me horrible body pain, so I always ask for decaf if I order coffee when I’m out, and doublecheck with the waiter/ress when they bring it. but instead of saying “is this decaf like I asked for?” I always say “oh, did I remember to order decaf?” I shouldn’t have to act like I’m the forgetful one (because I know damn well I asked for decaf) but it seems to work better than implying that they screwed up when I take the blame on myself like that. and if there’s any hesitation when they answer, I tell them, “if there’s any doubt, please get another one, or just give me water–if this is regular, it’ll mess up my heart” and lots of times when I say that, they look alarmed and go change it or get another one.  but I shouldn’t HAVE to share my personal medical history with strangers just to get my order right! no one should! how is it their business? it makes me really uncomfortable to have to do that. JUST GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY ORDER! I’ve reblogged this maaaany times before but there’s a few new stories on here so i’m doing it again. cut this shit out don’t be that kind of asshole. As a diabetic, this would make me so beyond angry. Skinny doesn’t mean they don’t have a life threatening illness. Skinny doesn’t mean they can process sugar the way you do. People that do this are the worst kinds of people. DO NOT DO THIS! Me and my family went to a restaurant a few years back and one of the dishes we ordered was made with wine vinegar, which I am allergic to, so we asked the waiter to skip it, and he said sure, no problem, that’s fine.So my food gets to the table, and I start eating and then my throat closes and I can’t breathe and then I start coughing and throwing up right there in the middle of the restaurant and it was very fortunate that I was with my family and they knew what was happening to me. I had to be rushed to the hospital, and admitted, and I came damn near close to having my throat cut open so I could breathe through a whole on my neck. Because they put wine vinegar in my food when I explicitly told them not to, because they were assholes, and I could have died.They probably didn’t mean to hurt me but they did. I missed class, and work, and, again, I COULD HAVE DIED. i have cyclic vomiting syndrome and can’t tolerate dairy or red meat. violating my dietary restrictions triggers an acute episode, and i have to be hospitalized and given iv saline, ativan, and anti-emetics to stop the (extremely painful and incapacitating) vomiting. if somebody put regular milk instead of soy milk in my latte and i didn’t notice the taste immediately, i could wind up in the er and then spend several days in bed recovering, eating nothing but saltines and dry toast and clear liquids until my body was able to tolerate food again, unable to work or go out or do anything besides rest. whenever i go to starbucks, i WATCH them make my drink. cvs episodes are horrible and i hate them, and i can prevent them if i do everything right, but that means my damn barista has to cooperate. if somebody decided i was a stuck up white girl and gave me whole milk instead of soy they could put me in the hospital and cost me days of income. give ppl the food they fuckin order. it’s not that hard. Reblogging because it’s so important. I’m “lucky” I don’t have any food allergies or intolerence, but it makes me mad when people take them not seriously, think you are picky or just following a “white girl diet fad”. 90% of people don’t take my cats and dog allergies seriously when I tell them I’m allergic and wondering if a cat or a dog is present at X place. They think it’s just watery eyes. Nope. Well yeah, watery and itchy eyes, but I start wo wheeze and have trouble breathing. They don’t give epi-pen for those (anyway you have to go to the hospital after) just inhaler. It’s no miracle, specially if I didn’t take other meds before. When people tell you about their allergies or restriction, trust them! Reblogging for all the stories here because this is sooo important!  I have a severe allergy to gluten and relate to MANY of the stories above. My daughter has a severe allergy to milk fat, and I have had to hold her hair many times while she vomits on the side of the road because we couldn’t even make it home from the “accidental” whole milk instead of skim.  I’m super lactose intolerant so accidental milk is always fun. Severe diarrhea, stomach cramps, bloating, and gas like you wouldn’t believe. Better than death you might say but, I have other medical conditions, so that diarrhea could lead to vomiting(it’s so bad the vomit comes out my mouth AND nose) and dehydration that in turn becomes low cortisol and adrenal crisis. A bitchy barista can land me in the hospital with an intramuscular shot and saline iv. Hun, it takes no time to listen and follow my order. It takes me at least 24 hours to get out of the hospital. Be nice. I’m allergic to pork. Legit allergic. I can’t count how many times I’ve had to ask it off my food only to receive it with bacon or ham or something on it. Please respect peoples food requests. It costs 0.00$ to not be a dick. I actually have customers who say they’ll only eat at my restaurant when I’m there, because they know I require all policy to be followed, as in “I will kick you the fuck off your shift if you skimp,” if someone says the words “I have an allergy.” I developed our allergy policies, for that matter, because what we had in place before was “I guess you shouldn’t change your gloves … . ?” On my shifts your gloves get changed, that line gets wiped down with a new cloth, paper under EVERY ITEM for the person with the allergy, bag their food separately to prevent contact. If there’s a risk of cross-contamination with an allergen, like tomatoes in the guac because stuff spills when you’re moving as fast as we do, I’ll open a new bag of food. I learned the ingredients in every item we serve so I could advise people on hidden allergens (e.g., there’s a small amount of wheat in our beef as a thickener; we fry with safflower oil). We have a grease pencil to mark special builds and I use it liberally on allergy orders. If all of this sounds like overkill, you’ve never watched a child suffer from anaphylaxis. I don’t play around. Like, I bitch about my job a lot, but food allergies and special needs are not something I will ever bitch about. Even if you’re a complete asshole I won’t risk contaminating your food. (Although people with allergies seem to be way nicer than the general population, I gotta say.) Don’t do it. If someone’s a petty asshole to you, give them too much ice in their drink. Don’t play with their health. DO NOT FUCKING SCROLL PAST THIS P L E A S E Reblogging this again because it is important. Doing the right thing has no cost but doing the wrong thing can cost a person’s life. Don’t be a dick, give the person what they ordered This is why turning legitimate illness into fad is stupid! You’re fucking killing people. Just don’t be a dick. Seriously, if you hate a customer, just badmouth them once they’re gone, or give them the finger under the counter; you’ll get just as much satisfaction, and you won’t run the risk of accidentally killing someone.
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