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Alive, Anaconda, and Animals: i-should-be-writing-rn: inlovewithaleheather: thecuckoohaslanded: gerbthenerd: alexander-lamington: thelizardprincess: biglawbear: blacksirencry: swaglexander-the-great: #That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfc via platonic-rabbit  me tryna find out if this fool died “The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.” Holy shit And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!! Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this #AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY IS  I mean OP pretty much covered it.  A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. But ask and you shall receive,  On this episode of “Fun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD.  YOU’RE DEAD.  EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN. There are many things that will kill you. [citation needed] There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST. There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in. Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLE OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you).  THE. WHOLE. OCEAN. Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus. It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these.  But not without immediate medical attention.  Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish. The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you.  There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide.  It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis.  It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly.  It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm.  Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the LD50 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)).  This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you. DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS. Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE. A cone snail walks into a bar.  You’d expect the bartender to ask, “what’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND. Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra.  Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin.  Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it.  Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough. I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin: “Conotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.” “The LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.” Remember how the LD50 of tetrodotoxin is 8μg/kg?  Conotoxin is 160 times more potent.  FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN.   I DID SOME MATH.   IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.) Conus geographus is so fucking deadly that “In two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.” THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRST “MORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY. And guess what?  Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging.  Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you.  Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight.  Oh no.  It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON.  It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria. Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever.  “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask.  And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra.  Well, it turns out the answer is “Research shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.”  That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine. Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin.  In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock.  BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE. IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off.  And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST. And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death. Don’t touch the pretty shells. I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have. You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌
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Life, Memes, and Phone: "The one who truly loves you is the one who pushes you forward on your path to Allah and gets in your way and stops you from going backwards in life." Husband Have you prayed Asr? Wife No Husband Why? Wife I got back from work tired a bit so I took me a nap. Husband Ok... Go pray Asr and Maghrib before its time for Isha. The next day... the husband leaves town on a business trip... But a few hours after his flight was scheduled to arrive he didn't call or even her like he usually does to let her know that he had arrived safely..!! The wife calls to check up on her husband but he doesn't pick up.. She calls again; the phone rings but no reply what so ever. She was starting to get worried after many attempts of calling her beloved husband and no reply at all... She thinks to herself something must have went wrong he never does that. He always calls as soon as he lands. A few hours pass by... and suddenly the phone rings and its the husband. Wife all worried says have you arrived safely?? Husband Yes, Alhamdulillah. Wife When? Husband About 4 hours ago. Wife in an angered tone 4 hours ago? And you don't call? Husband I was tired so decided to take a nap. Wife A few minutes wouldn't have hurt you if you were to call me and let me know you'v arrived... Plus haven't you heard the phone ringing over and over again as I was calling you..?? Husband Yes, I heard it.. Wife And you don't pick up..?? What are my calls not important enough for you..?? Husband You're calls are important to me, but yesterday you didn't seem to mind not answering the calls of Athan.. Allah's call... Wife with watery eyes and after a short silence says Yes, you have a point.. I'm sorry.. Husband Why are you apologizing to me? You should seek Allah's forgiveness and don't repeat the same mistake twice. All what I want out of this world is that Allah unites us both in a palace in Jannah where in it we can start our eternal life together. Ever since that day the wife never delayed any of her prayers. "The one who truly loves you is the one who pushes you forward on your path to Allah and gets in your way and stops you from going backwards in life."

Husband Have you prayed Asr? Wife No Husband Why? Wife I got back from work tired a bit so I took me a nap. Husband Ok... Go pray Asr and Ma...

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Bitch, College, and Dildo: SUPERWHOLOCK IS FUCCIN TRASH 89 sirthane: i-fear-neither-death-nor-pain: personsonable: cobracommanderofficial: thiswebsitenamesareweird: electricdoc: itsmeganonthemoon: electricdoc: jensenacklesmeltsmyheart: electricdoc: alonelyangel6: electricdoc: thesweetandawesomeqinn: electricdoc: stabble1234: electricdoc: slendersummerseve: BITCH I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU YOU’VE ANGERED THE WRONG FANDOM You’re going down punk, just you FUCKNG WAIT!! You will learn that this fandom is far worse than you will ever want to know. We may seem soft and shy, but we’re just being NICE! We can be cold, cruel, mean, and make you suffer and wish you had never said what you said. We can send you into the farthest most empty reaches of the galaxy, summon demons to our disposal to make you suffer, and make you feel the feelings that we experience, and don’t fucking think for a single goddamn second that’s easy! The amount of emotions that would boil inside of you would literally kill you. So keep your motherfucking distance and we won’t hurt you, so stay the hell back, asshole. If you so much as insult us one more time, we will bring firey hell upon you and bitch slap you into oblivion. Your move, dildo. We know how to kill a human and hide the evidence. Your body will never be found, and that is a promise. You do realize a majority of the fandom are 20 somethings right? or at least in college. We can find you, kill you, and make it look like you killed yourself. Don’t try us :) Shut up.We can exorcise a demon from you faster than Dean and Sam, believe me you need it.We can toss you into a supernova, never to be seen again, or banish you to the end of the universe where you would explode to create a new one.We can murder you and destroy all evidence of you ever existing.Basically- D-O-N-T-C-R-O-S-S-U-S This is like finding a lost family heirloom you’ve been hearing about finally…. important relic from the Tumblr Dark Ages Tumblarcheology
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Being Alone, Bad, and Funny: reddit Hello, A few months ago l captured an American Cockroach in my studio apartment. In my apartment, I see a roach from time to time. Nota ton of bunches of roaches, like say, 2 or 3 a month. Most often I smashed them or sprayeda poison on them. But one time l thought, maybe this is a bad thing? Why should a roach be killed ust because it is a bug? Well I decided to capture that roach and I made him my pet. I name him Big Alan I keep Big Alan in a little aquarium, but I also take him out a lot to hold him, pet him, speak to him, etc. Well, let me tell you in my life I have had only3 dates, and before this new date my last prior date was in October 2009. So may I say that, of course, I admit I was very nervous to go on this new date I find that Big Alan keeps me very calm when I have him with me. He is like a good luck charm of sorts, and as my pet he is my good friend, so l know that if he is with me I am not alone. It may seem silly but it is like he is a courage bug So on my date I kept Big Alan in my front shirt pocket, and I put bacon bits in there so he would have a good meal and he would be distracted b that and not crawl awav. Well it did not work exactly this way. You see, a roach like Big Alan has very long antennae. If you have ever seen a cockroach you know that's a fact. Well at some point I guess this damned rascal was tired of his bacon bits and his antennae were poking up out of my pocket. Well I have to tell you that she did see this. I did not want to cause a fright so l explained it is just my pet, and I took Big Alan out of my pocket to show her. Well let me tell you she did react very oorly to this, and even screamed. And everyone turned and saw I had a roach in my hands and just about everyone reacted very badly. I had to explain to everyone he is just my pet. Well I was finding this extremely embarrassing and also l feared for the safety of Big Alan to be honest. So I ran out of that place. Yes, ran. Well now I am quite shamed and angered by all of this. I have resolved I will not do any more dates. That's for sure. But I wish Big Alan had not poked his antennae out. He didn't know the deal but even so T am slightly annoyed at him. I know this is unfair. But it's how I feel. tripropellant: mysteryho: yeezusplease: big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality telling an ambling story this is such a powerful example of how tone and phrasing can be jokes on their own. if this guy wrote this like a normal person it’d be mildly funny but mostly a little sad but because he wrote it how he did it’s indescribably funny

tripropellant: mysteryho: yeezusplease: big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality t...

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Bitch, College, and Dildo: SUPERWHOLOCK IS FUCCIN TRASH 89 someoneintheshadow456: angrybeardedbastard: cobracommanderofficial: thiswebsitenamesareweird: electricdoc: itsmeganonthemoon: electricdoc: jensenacklesmeltsmyheart: electricdoc: alonelyangel6: electricdoc: thesweetandawesomeqinn: electricdoc: stabble1234: electricdoc: slendersummerseve: BITCH I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU YOU’VE ANGERED THE WRONG FANDOM You’re going down punk, just you FUCKNG WAIT!! You will learn that this fandom is far worse than you will ever want to know. We may seem soft and shy, but we’re just being NICE! We can be cold, cruel, mean, and make you suffer and wish you had never said what you said. We can send you into the farthest most empty reaches of the galaxy, summon demons to our disposal to make you suffer, and make you feel the feelings that we experience, and don’t fucking think for a single goddamn second that’s easy! The amount of emotions that would boil inside of you would literally kill you. So keep your motherfucking distance and we won’t hurt you, so stay the hell back, asshole. If you so much as insult us one more time, we will bring firey hell upon you and bitch slap you into oblivion. Your move, dildo. We know how to kill a human and hide the evidence. Your body will never be found, and that is a promise. You do realize a majority of the fandom are 20 somethings right? or at least in college. We can find you, kill you, and make it look like you killed yourself. Don’t try us :) Shut up.We can exorcise a demon from you faster than Dean and Sam, believe me you need it.We can toss you into a supernova, never to be seen again, or banish you to the end of the universe where you would explode to create a new one.We can murder you and destroy all evidence of you ever existing.Basically- D-O-N-T-C-R-O-S-S-U-S This is like finding a lost family heirloom you’ve been hearing about finally…. I will reblog this every single fucking time I miss when tumblr was like this
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Bad, Cars, and Friends: poerobots: The first hint that something might be different this time came the morning after the shootings, from a Douglas High School sophomore named Sarah Chadwick, who informed the President of the United States, via his favorite medium, in words that quickly went viral, “I don’t want your condolences you fucking piece of shit, my friends and teachers were shot.”Their grief was raw, their rage palpable. Emma Gonzalez, a senior at Douglas, had the most searing indictment:“The people in the government who were voted into power are lying to us. And us kids seem to be the only ones who notice and are prepared to call B.S.“Companies, trying to make caricatures of the teen-agers nowadays, saying that all we are are self-involved and trend-obsessed and they hush us into submissions when our message doesn’t reach the ears of the nation, we are prepared to call B.S.“Politicians who sit in their gilded House and Senate seats funded by the N.R.A., telling us nothing could ever be done to prevent this: we call B.S.“They say that tougher gun laws do not prevent gun violence: we call B.S.”The crowd was now joining in.“They say a good guy with a gun stops a bad guy with a gun: we call B.S.“They say guns are just tools, like knives, and are as dangerous as cars: we call B.S.“They say that no laws would have been able to prevent the hundreds of senseless tragedies that occur: we call B.S.“That us kids don’t know what we’re talking about, that we’re too young to understand how the government works.” The crowd was now in a frenzy of anger and sadness, the people around me were tearing up as they yelled, “We call B.S.”And then, in unison, the people gathered began to chant, “Vote them out, vote them out, vote them out.”– Emily Witt, The New Yorker
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Arguing, College, and Donald Trump: Joy Reid * @JoyAnnReid Now that l've read the entire transcript of @nytmike's Trump interview, a few observations: 1. Trump speaks a lot like a child does. Lots of focus on who likes him, who loves him who is his friend... his biographers all emphasize his deep desire to be loved & it comes through. 11:13 PM-28 Dec 17 9,632 Retweets 20.8K Likes Joy Reid Ф @JoyAnn Reid-11 h 2. Trump repeats whatever he is fixated on over and over again. I counted 15 "no collusion" repeats, sometimes two or three times in a single paragraph. And he keeps returning over and over again to the election and how he managed to win via the Electoral College. He's fixated. 162 Π1,477 6,139 Joy Reid Ф @JoyAnnReid-11 h 3. Trump things being president means he can do whatever he wants. He has an autocrat's impulse, and believes literally everyone in government, from the attorney general to every member of Congress, essentially works for him, owes him loyalty, and must "come to him for mercy. 147 t 1,737 6,341 Joy Reid @JoyAnnReid 11h He literally adopted a "Godfather" phraseology to all but say Democrats could have avoided blue state tax hikes via SALT if they had "come to him" to plead for his largesse. It's a combination of the impulses of 1. and 3. 42 п1310 5,103 Joy Reid * @JoyAnnReid 4. Trump thinks he is still the star of a TV show, and that the media has the power to decide who wins elections, based on ratings. Seriously: TRUMP: We're going to win another four years for a lot of reasons, most importantly because our country is starting to do well again and we're being respected again. But another reason that I'm going to win another four years is because newspapers, television, all forms of medit will tank if I'm not there because without me, their ratings are going down the tubes. Without me, The New York Times will indeed be not the failing New York Times, but the failed New York Times. So they basically have to let me win. And eventually, probably six months befor the election, they'll be loving me because they're saying, "Please, please don't lose Donald Trump." О.К. 11:20 PM 28 Dec 17 1,607 Retweets 5,528 Likes Joy Reid @JoyAnnReid 5. Trump invents his own reality, and then states that everybody else believes his version of reality too. And since he is so transparent, it's hard to argue that this is a strategy, rather than a form of self-delusion or just stubborn refusal to accept what is real. TRUMP: Yeah. Virtually every Democrat has said there is no collusion. There is no collusion. And even these committees that have been set up. If you look at what's going on - and in fact, what it's done is, it's really angered the base and made the base stronger. My base is stronger than it's ever been. Great congressmen, in particular, some of the congressmen have been unbelievable in pointing out what a witch hunt the whole thing is. So, I think it's been proven that there is no collusion. 11:23 PM-28 Dec 17 1,438 Retweets 5,252 Likes Joy Reid@JoyAnnReid.11h There are literally no Democrats who believe that. None. But he repeats that over and over in the interview. 0988 5,828 Joy Reid Ф @JoyAnnReid-11 h l've never observed anyone who is more precisely like his biographers have described him. And Trump's biographers have, to put it mildly, not been kind. He lives inside his own reality, where he is part beloved autocrat/dictator and part main character in a never-ending TV show. 112 п2,018 7,835 Joy Reid Ф @JoyAnnReid-11 h It is absolutely stunning that this person is president of the United States. bookahplease: passingafternoons: ICYMI: Trump’s latest uncensored, unsupervised interview with a NYTIMES reporter should be required reading for every American.

bookahplease: passingafternoons: ICYMI: Trump’s latest uncensored, unsupervised interview with a NYTIMES reporter should be required readin...

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Bored, Children, and Drunk: thecheshiresmiles everytime I hear about children of the corn I think about the guy I met at comic con who actually lived in the town they filmed that movie at, and on the farm where they filmed in the corn. he was a teenager at the time and him and his friends would get drunk on moonshine and rustle the corn and let the air out of the tires of the production team's trailers and shit. and now there's Wikipedia pages about how the children of the corn set was haunted and they thought they angered god but it was really just drunk hillbillies trashcandean I don't like adding to posts but I also have a funny story like this, so lI was watching the movie the Blair witch which takes place in burkettsville maryland which to me is so funny because that is were my grandfather lives and the town is literally just old people and cows with their main street consisting of a post office. Well anyway he told me that after it came out people were coming in like bus loads to the town to find the witch and my grandfather lives up in the Mountain area and people were up in his property trying to find the witch and it made him angry so he went out and hung up stick people and stacked rocks and it freaked the people out so they started thinking something was out there when really it was my 80 year old Italian grandpa who wanted people out of his woods ginathethundergoddess We had ghost hunters come to a historic house in my town to film and if you think every high school kid in town respectfully stayed at home that night instead of going to fuck up that filming you're dead wrong animentality this is comforting, actually, sometimes paranormal things are just a bunch of bored people dicking around in the woods thepoorgroomsbrideisatrot New favorite cryptid: locals Source:thecheshir esmiles The Hillbilly Horror Picture Show
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