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Brains, Girls, and Lazy: icecream-eaterrr I just heard this woman say "you procrastinate because you are afraid of rejection. It's a defense mechanism, you are trying to protect yourself without even trying." and I think I just realized what was wrong with me eupheme-butterfly Yep, this is a very, very common reason for procrastinating. It's also why procrastination, even though it's often associated with laziness, is a fairly common trait in a lot of people with anxiety and perfectionism issues dsudis This idea You're not lazy, you're protecting yourself- hit me really hard while reading, of all things, Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, which turns out to be as much about how brains work and how relationships work as how orgasms work. In an early part of the book she talks about Fight/Flight/Freeze responses to threats-the example she uses is being attacked by a lion You fight, if you think you can defeat the lion; you run away, if you think you can escape the lion; and when you think there's nothing you can do, when you feel the lion's jaws closing on your neck, you freeze, because dying will hurt less that way. You just stop and go numb and wait for it to be over, because that is the last way to protect any scrap of yourself Later in the book, she talks about the brain process that motivates you to pursue incentives, describing it as a little monitor that gauges your progress toward a goal versus the effort you're expending. If it feels like too little progress is being made you get frustrated, get angry, and, eventually, you.. despair. You stop trying You go numb and wait for it to be over, because that's the only way left to protect yourself. So it occurred to me that these are basically the same thing-when facing a difficult task, where failure feels like a Threat, you can get frustrated and fight it out-INCREASE DOING THE THING until you get where you're going Or you can flee-try to solve the problem some other way than straight on, changing your goal, changing your approach, whatever. Fight or flight But both of those only apply when you think the problem is solvable, right? If the problem isn't solvable, then you freeze. You despair And if you're one of those Smart Kids (Smart Girls, especially) who was praised for being smart so that all tasks in the world came to be divided between Ooh This Is Easy and I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT AND IF I FUCK UP I WILL DIE, then... it's pretty easy to see how you lose the frustration/anger stage of working toward a goal, because your brain goes straight to freeze/despair every time. Things are easy and routine or they are straight up impossible So, you know, any time you manage to pull yourself up and give that lion a smack on the nose, or go stumbling away from it instead of just falling down like a fainting goat as soon as you spot it on the horizon, give yourself a gold star from me. Because this is some deeply wired survival-brain stuff. Even if logically you know that that term paper is not a lion, it really is like that sometimes Source: icecream-eaterrr 517,124 notes Procrastination
Best Friend, Friends, and Girls: I lke giri A. We are very good triends. A's best friend B likes me. Also, A likes a guy C who is my best bro and C likes another girl D who is in a relationship with another guy. What should we do Priyanka Dhaka 14.4k upvotes by Diksha Bijlani, Sandhya Ramesh, Mukesh Sharma, (more) You can apply Bipartite Matching algorithm of Graph Theory. All you have to do is: 1. Put all girls as vertices (a's) in Part A, and boys as vertices (b's) in Part B. 2. Draw an edge between vertex a to vertex b if a likes b. 3. It will be a bipartite graph (there are no edges within vertices of Part A, and same for Part B) unless your friends are not straight. Maximum Bipartite Matching-GeeksforGeeks the pairs who should be together. much they loe/like each other. In that case, assign weights according to 4. Then find maximum matching for this bipartite graph. (refer this link 5. You will get maximum matching as output and the matched edges will be 6. You can apply weighted bipartite matching algorithm if you know how their amount of love. and repeat step 4 and5 Thanks for asking this question. Finally I have found a real life problem which can be solved by what Prof Panda has been teaching us for 2-3years. P.S. I can provide you code for both weighted and unweighted maximum LIndatad 28 Iul 201 bipartite matching which I made for my project Upvoted 14.4k Downvote Comments 149+ Share 54 When you are love guru but also a programmer

When you are love guru but also a programmer