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                            The 'buff guys on laptops' meme is here to offer some wholesome advice
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
        
            
                

                    

                        
                    

                    
                    

                        
                            Kelly's World | Defending the guys with no shot
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
    






    

    
    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-gaudiest-fish:


lipsredasroses:

mayothefirst:


madamehearthwitch:

thegrimmlovely:

riskpig:

endangeredslug:

riskpig:

teamseabreeze:

recycled-soul:

skywritingg:

iloveyournudity:

cuntsoloud-ishere:

pizzaforpresident:

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!




This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.


WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????


Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook


Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. 


WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL


This is very true lol 


Yo what the f u c k 






not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? 

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.



What the fuck



I’m ace but here you guys go
: ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-gaudiest-fish:


lipsredasroses:

mayothefirst:


madamehearthwitch:

thegrimmlovely:

riskpig:

endangeredslug:

riskpig:

teamseabreeze:

recycled-soul:

skywritingg:

iloveyournudity:

cuntsoloud-ishere:

pizzaforpresident:

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!




This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.


WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????


Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook


Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. 


WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL


This is very true lol 


Yo what the f u c k 






not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? 

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.



What the fuck



I’m ace but here you guys go

        

            
            

                
                
                    ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-gaudiest-fish:


lipsredasroses:

mayothefirst:


madamehearthwitch:

thegrimmlovely:

riskpig:

endangeredslug:

riskpig:

teamseabreeze:

recycled-soul:

skywritingg:

iloveyournudity:

cuntsoloud-ishere:

pizzaforpresident:

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!




This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.


WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????


Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook


Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. 


WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL


This is very true lol 


Yo what the f u c k 






not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? 

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.



What the fuck



I’m ace but here you guys go
: ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-gaudiest-fish:


lipsredasroses:

mayothefirst:


madamehearthwitch:

thegrimmlovely:

riskpig:

endangeredslug:

riskpig:

teamseabreeze:

recycled-soul:

skywritingg:

iloveyournudity:

cuntsoloud-ishere:

pizzaforpresident:

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!




This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.


WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????


Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook


Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. 


WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL


This is very true lol 


Yo what the f u c k 






not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? 

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.



What the fuck



I’m ace but here you guys go

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        sirrah1940:

profeminist:

profeminist:

chemicallywrit:

kaylapocalypse:

historicaltimes:


“Crazy Dion” Diamond at one of his sit-ins as a teenager in Arlington, VA. June 10, 1960 via reddit


All of those people around him are demons

hey guys! here’s some fun things i learned from this article about Dion Diamond:
he did these sit-ins by himself. like idk about you, but i always thought of sit-ins as organized by groups, what kind of bravery does it take, man
he didn’t tell anyone about it, like he was no glory-seeker about this. his parents didn’t even know until reporters started calling them up like “hey, did you know your son is in jail?
when someone called the cops he’d skedaddle out the back door although he was sent to prison multiple times
the last time he got arrested was in Baton Rouge, and the cops were so sick of him that they told inmates they’d put in a good word for anyone who gave Diamond a hard time. (the inmates didn’t take the bait.)
he’s still alive!
hark, a hero of our times!




That is unbelievable courage! 
: sirrah1940:

profeminist:

profeminist:

chemicallywrit:

kaylapocalypse:

historicaltimes:


“Crazy Dion” Diamond at one of his sit-ins as a teenager in Arlington, VA. June 10, 1960 via reddit


All of those people around him are demons

hey guys! here’s some fun things i learned from this article about Dion Diamond:
he did these sit-ins by himself. like idk about you, but i always thought of sit-ins as organized by groups, what kind of bravery does it take, man
he didn’t tell anyone about it, like he was no glory-seeker about this. his parents didn’t even know until reporters started calling them up like “hey, did you know your son is in jail?
when someone called the cops he’d skedaddle out the back door although he was sent to prison multiple times
the last time he got arrested was in Baton Rouge, and the cops were so sick of him that they told inmates they’d put in a good word for anyone who gave Diamond a hard time. (the inmates didn’t take the bait.)
he’s still alive!
hark, a hero of our times!




That is unbelievable courage! 

        

            
            

                
                
                    sirrah1940:

profeminist:

profeminist:

chemicallywrit:

kaylapocalypse:

historicaltimes:


“Crazy Dion” Diamond at one of his sit-ins as a teenager in Arlington, VA. June 10, 1960 via reddit


All of those people around him are demons

hey guys! here’s some fun things i learned from this article about Dion Diamond:
he did these sit-ins by himself. like idk about you, but i always thought of sit-ins as organized by groups, what kind of bravery does it take, man
he didn’t tell anyone about it, like he was no glory-seeker about this. his parents didn’t even know until reporters started calling them up like “hey, did you know your son is in jail?
when someone called the cops he’d skedaddle out the back door although he was sent to prison multiple times
the last time he got arrested was in Baton Rouge, and the cops were so sick of him that they told inmates they’d put in a good word for anyone who gave Diamond a hard time. (the inmates didn’t take the bait.)
he’s still alive!
hark, a hero of our times!




That is unbelievable courage! 
: sirrah1940:

profeminist:

profeminist:

chemicallywrit:

kaylapocalypse:

historicaltimes:


“Crazy Dion” Diamond at one of his sit-ins as a teenager in Arlington, VA. June 10, 1960 via reddit


All of those people around him are demons

hey guys! here’s some fun things i learned from this article about Dion Diamond:
he did these sit-ins by himself. like idk about you, but i always thought of sit-ins as organized by groups, what kind of bravery does it take, man
he didn’t tell anyone about it, like he was no glory-seeker about this. his parents didn’t even know until reporters started calling them up like “hey, did you know your son is in jail?
when someone called the cops he’d skedaddle out the back door although he was sent to prison multiple times
the last time he got arrested was in Baton Rouge, and the cops were so sick of him that they told inmates they’d put in a good word for anyone who gave Diamond a hard time. (the inmates didn’t take the bait.)
he’s still alive!
hark, a hero of our times!




That is unbelievable courage! 

                    
                
            

            
                
                
sirrah1940:

profeminist:

profeminist:

chemicallywrit:

kaylapocalypse:

historicaltimes:


“Crazy Dion” Diamond at one of his sit-ins...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        ummmm guys???: ummmm guys???
        

            
            

                
                
                    ummmm guys???: ummmm guys???
                    
                
            

            
                
                
ummmm guys???

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

        

            
            

                
                
                    inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        the-daddypaddy:

disease-danger-darkness-silence:


emptyheadgamer:

pregnantseinfeld:
hell world





*sigh*
Look, I’m as anti-profiteering as the next anarcho-communist, OK? But can you actually look up what’s fucking going on, y'all?
Funko is donating all proceeds from these figurines, which, “includes medical professionals across different races and ethnicities, representing the impact of the pandemic across all spectrums,” to the GlobalGiving Coronavirus Relief fund, to help support frontline workers. GlobalGiving has a fantastic rating on Charity Navigator and is generally speaking a trustworthy organization. Funko is not making any actual profit off of these figurines. 
I hate capitalism. But for once, a company is actually putting their money where their mouth is. So like….can we not? 



Hey guys, reblog this please! 
Make sure not to spread misinformation around! 
: the-daddypaddy:

disease-danger-darkness-silence:


emptyheadgamer:

pregnantseinfeld:
hell world





*sigh*
Look, I’m as anti-profiteering as the next anarcho-communist, OK? But can you actually look up what’s fucking going on, y'all?
Funko is donating all proceeds from these figurines, which, “includes medical professionals across different races and ethnicities, representing the impact of the pandemic across all spectrums,” to the GlobalGiving Coronavirus Relief fund, to help support frontline workers. GlobalGiving has a fantastic rating on Charity Navigator and is generally speaking a trustworthy organization. Funko is not making any actual profit off of these figurines. 
I hate capitalism. But for once, a company is actually putting their money where their mouth is. So like….can we not? 



Hey guys, reblog this please! 
Make sure not to spread misinformation around! 

        

            
            

                
                
                    the-daddypaddy:

disease-danger-darkness-silence:


emptyheadgamer:

pregnantseinfeld:
hell world





*sigh*
Look, I’m as anti-profiteering as the next anarcho-communist, OK? But can you actually look up what’s fucking going on, y'all?
Funko is donating all proceeds from these figurines, which, “includes medical professionals across different races and ethnicities, representing the impact of the pandemic across all spectrums,” to the GlobalGiving Coronavirus Relief fund, to help support frontline workers. GlobalGiving has a fantastic rating on Charity Navigator and is generally speaking a trustworthy organization. Funko is not making any actual profit off of these figurines. 
I hate capitalism. But for once, a company is actually putting their money where their mouth is. So like….can we not? 



Hey guys, reblog this please! 
Make sure not to spread misinformation around! 
: the-daddypaddy:

disease-danger-darkness-silence:


emptyheadgamer:

pregnantseinfeld:
hell world





*sigh*
Look, I’m as anti-profiteering as the next anarcho-communist, OK? But can you actually look up what’s fucking going on, y'all?
Funko is donating all proceeds from these figurines, which, “includes medical professionals across different races and ethnicities, representing the impact of the pandemic across all spectrums,” to the GlobalGiving Coronavirus Relief fund, to help support frontline workers. GlobalGiving has a fantastic rating on Charity Navigator and is generally speaking a trustworthy organization. Funko is not making any actual profit off of these figurines. 
I hate capitalism. But for once, a company is actually putting their money where their mouth is. So like….can we not? 



Hey guys, reblog this please! 
Make sure not to spread misinformation around! 

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    


    
	

        
	

    




                    

                

                

                    




    

        
        

            
            

              
            

        

        
        
        

            

            
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
                                    20 Billie Eilish Memes That'll Make Bad Guys ROFL
                                
                            

                            
                        

                    
                
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                                
                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
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