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cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER : cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the g...

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admiralyurii: acquaintedwithrask: stoneandbloodandwater: forthegothicheroine: youkoofthelovespot: jali-jali: charmory: this is the most romantic thing i’ve seen all day No shit. That tom cat was like: “This thorn invested wall means nothing.” “I will gladly walk on it a thousand times over, if that means I could be with you, my lady.” and the lady cat was all: “My brave darling.” OOOPS MY HAND SLIPPED!! Suddenly my muse insisted me to draw the personification version of the last pic, and who am I to reject inspiration when it comes so willingly to me? At least this will help with the artblock issue I currently have to deal with. Russian imperial era inspired because hot damn. Note: I tried google reverse image (and other reverse image search engines) those photos and came up with nothing. I wish I knew the original photographer because I want to love hug him/her so hard for capturing such inspiring moments. OMG that’s the cutest thing ever and the best courtly love ah so brilliant. Few romantic heroes could do better. I don’t post cats often but that illustration. that ILLUSTRATION OMG : admiralyurii: acquaintedwithrask: stoneandbloodandwater: forthegothicheroine: youkoofthelovespot: jali-jali: charmory: this is the most romantic thing i’ve seen all day No shit. That tom cat was like: “This thorn invested wall means nothing.” “I will gladly walk on it a thousand times over, if that means I could be with you, my lady.” and the lady cat was all: “My brave darling.” OOOPS MY HAND SLIPPED!! Suddenly my muse insisted me to draw the personification version of the last pic, and who am I to reject inspiration when it comes so willingly to me? At least this will help with the artblock issue I currently have to deal with. Russian imperial era inspired because hot damn. Note: I tried google reverse image (and other reverse image search engines) those photos and came up with nothing. I wish I knew the original photographer because I want to love hug him/her so hard for capturing such inspiring moments. OMG that’s the cutest thing ever and the best courtly love ah so brilliant. Few romantic heroes could do better. I don’t post cats often but that illustration. that ILLUSTRATION OMG
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ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER I love this : ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER I love this

ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: Th...

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this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :): Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)20:56:36 No.55046566 story time because I want to share and it's a special day be me, 22, KHHV, NEET no real purpose in life, autistic >live in a small town but still don't know anyone >down the street is a harvest festival going on go there on a whim see nice old man making caramel apples hand dipped >i go over and buy one with some pocket change l ow saved up >it's really good we talk about caramel apples >his name is Ted >he asks if I'd like to help him make apples enthusiastically say yes, go to a factory next day at 9 AM >I get to dip the apples and put the sticks on them >I box them up and sell them, get to decorate them too Told I would not last longer than a year by floor manager since nobody does >Get to know Ted, he has no kids and his wife died in a boat accident we talk every day about apples and candy >he gets me into football we watch football together, he lets me show him anime >7 years pass >I've been there the longest Ted doesn't come to work, I call him No response, I go to his house >Door unlocked, go in and see him on the floor call 911, he had a stroke and died later that day in the hospital cry for days because my only friend is gone >A few days pass, I learn that he left the factory and the apple shop to me >note says "You're the hardest worker I've ever met, I know you will make me proud" >burst into tears in front of lawyer every day I go to that factory to work hard >l come up with all sorts of ideas to decorate the apples every holiday Still KHHV, but I love making apples >Whole town knows me as the apple man Never been happier making caramel apples Today would have been his 76th birthday. We got a huge catering order done today in time for Halloween. Business is better than ever. I know you're watching me, Ted. I hope I'm making you proud. this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)

this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)

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this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :): Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)20:56:36 No.55046566 story time because I want to share and it's a special day be me, 22, KHHV, NEET no real purpose in life, autistic >live in a small town but still don't know anyone >down the street is a harvest festival going on go there on a whim see nice old man making caramel apples hand dipped >i go over and buy one with some pocket change l ow saved up >it's really good we talk about caramel apples >his name is Ted >he asks if I'd like to help him make apples enthusiastically say yes, go to a factory next day at 9 AM >I get to dip the apples and put the sticks on them >I box them up and sell them, get to decorate them too Told I would not last longer than a year by floor manager since nobody does >Get to know Ted, he has no kids and his wife died in a boat accident we talk every day about apples and candy >he gets me into football we watch football together, he lets me show him anime >7 years pass >I've been there the longest Ted doesn't come to work, I call him No response, I go to his house >Door unlocked, go in and see him on the floor call 911, he had a stroke and died later that day in the hospital cry for days because my only friend is gone >A few days pass, I learn that he left the factory and the apple shop to me >note says "You're the hardest worker I've ever met, I know you will make me proud" >burst into tears in front of lawyer every day I go to that factory to work hard >l come up with all sorts of ideas to decorate the apples every holiday Still KHHV, but I love making apples >Whole town knows me as the apple man Never been happier making caramel apples Today would have been his 76th birthday. We got a huge catering order done today in time for Halloween. Business is better than ever. I know you're watching me, Ted. I hope I'm making you proud. this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)

this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)

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natural–blues: littlesweetspaceprince: bellygangstaboo: bellygangstaboo: I am deceased minor update: reblog to make racists get over 7,500 spam emails and have a well known company make fun of them Yeah there’s a beautiful bot site that if you put an email in it, will subscribe you to thousands of mailing lists. Oops I dropped the site right here use it wisely : Baked AlaskaTM @bakedalaska Netflix announced a new anti- white show (Dear White People) that promotes white genocide. I cancelled my account, do the same. #NoNetflix NETFLIX Browse Kids DVD Your Membership is Canceled An email confirmation will be sent to timothytreadstone@icloud.com. Back to Account Baked AlaskaTM abakedalaska OK WHO TF SIGNED ME UP FOR PLANNED PARENTHOODD THAT IS TOO FAR!!! i nanks Tor signing up: Today at 1:32 PM From: Maurice Smith To: Timothy Treadstne> Dear Tim MS Hide Planned Parenthood Care. No matter what Today at 1:42 PM Dear Timothy Eat a dick Thank you for joining Planned Parenthood's online network, Planned Parenthood is a visible and passionate advocate for policies that enable Americans to access Sent from my iPhone become part or a movement. Today at 1:44 PM Hello Mr. Treadstone, Netflix has carefully reviewed your concerns about the show Dear White People and has decided to cancel it. HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIG N We would like to let you know that your regularly viewed shows are still available: Hello! I'm Triagered" 2/8/17, 4:30 PM From: Netflix Executive NE To: Timothy Treadstone> Hide Our Apologies Mr. Treadstone Today at 1:01 PM Hello Mr. Treadstone, Netflix has carefully reviewed your concerns about the show Dear White People and has decided to cancel it. We would like to let you know that your regularly viewed shows are still available: "I'm Triggered" "Everything Should Be for Me" "I Think I know the Content of a Show Without Watching It" "I Think Transformers Promotes Human Genocide, But I Still Like It Because I Want to Fuck A Truck" natural–blues: littlesweetspaceprince: bellygangstaboo: bellygangstaboo: I am deceased minor update: reblog to make racists get over 7,500 spam emails and have a well known company make fun of them Yeah there’s a beautiful bot site that if you put an email in it, will subscribe you to thousands of mailing lists. Oops I dropped the site right here use it wisely
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happyds: deadwooddross: gullshriek: brideake: dansome0203: carbonoid: I saw a post by @bryborg with the idea of other artists doing side-by-side draws where you all draw [characrer] in your own style and put them together so there’s a line of [character] in different styles. They did Rick from Rick n Morty and it looked FUN and I wanted to do one with Jasper! So like, if you wanna join me, copy my Jasper and draw your Jasper next to her, reblog with a full view of your own and then the line up under that and we’ll see how many Jaspers we can get on the cheeto train :0 @ or inbox me if you do it because I want to seeeee broe pls dont make me colour i hate colouring they’re getting so small oh noooo : Carbonoid happyds: deadwooddross: gullshriek: brideake: dansome0203: carbonoid: I saw a post by @bryborg with the idea of other artists doing side-by-side draws where you all draw [characrer] in your own style and put them together so there’s a line of [character] in different styles. They did Rick from Rick n Morty and it looked FUN and I wanted to do one with Jasper! So like, if you wanna join me, copy my Jasper and draw your Jasper next to her, reblog with a full view of your own and then the line up under that and we’ll see how many Jaspers we can get on the cheeto train :0 @ or inbox me if you do it because I want to seeeee broe pls dont make me colour i hate colouring they’re getting so small oh noooo

happyds: deadwooddross: gullshriek: brideake: dansome0203: carbonoid: I saw a post by @bryborg with the idea of other artists doing...

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natural–blues: littlesweetspaceprince: bellygangstaboo: bellygangstaboo: I am deceased minor update: reblog to make racists get over 7,500 spam emails and have a well known company make fun of them Yeah there’s a beautiful bot site that if you put an email in it, will subscribe you to thousands of mailing lists. Oops I dropped the site right here use it wisely : Baked AlaskaTM @bakedalaska Netflix announced a new anti- white show (Dear White People) that promotes white genocide. I cancelled my account, do the same. #NoNetflix NETFLIX Browse Kids DVD Your Membership is Canceled An email confirmation will be sent to timothytreadstone@icloud.com. Back to Account Baked AlaskaTM abakedalaska OK WHO TF SIGNED ME UP FOR PLANNED PARENTHOODD THAT IS TOO FAR!!! i nanks Tor signing up: Today at 1:32 PM From: Maurice Smith To: Timothy Treadstne> Dear Tim MS Hide Planned Parenthood Care. No matter what Today at 1:42 PM Dear Timothy Eat a dick Thank you for joining Planned Parenthood's online network, Planned Parenthood is a visible and passionate advocate for policies that enable Americans to access Sent from my iPhone become part or a movement. Today at 1:44 PM Hello Mr. Treadstone, Netflix has carefully reviewed your concerns about the show Dear White People and has decided to cancel it. HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIG N We would like to let you know that your regularly viewed shows are still available: Hello! I'm Triagered" 2/8/17, 4:30 PM From: Netflix Executive NE To: Timothy Treadstone> Hide Our Apologies Mr. Treadstone Today at 1:01 PM Hello Mr. Treadstone, Netflix has carefully reviewed your concerns about the show Dear White People and has decided to cancel it. We would like to let you know that your regularly viewed shows are still available: "I'm Triggered" "Everything Should Be for Me" "I Think I know the Content of a Show Without Watching It" "I Think Transformers Promotes Human Genocide, But I Still Like It Because I Want to Fuck A Truck" natural–blues: littlesweetspaceprince: bellygangstaboo: bellygangstaboo: I am deceased minor update: reblog to make racists get over 7,500 spam emails and have a well known company make fun of them Yeah there’s a beautiful bot site that if you put an email in it, will subscribe you to thousands of mailing lists. Oops I dropped the site right here use it wisely
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assasinburrito: acquaintedwithrask: stoneandbloodandwater: forthegothicheroine: youkoofthelovespot: jali-jali: charmory: this is the most romantic thing i’ve seen all day No shit. That tom cat was like: “This thorn invested wall means nothing.” “I will gladly walk on it a thousand times over, if that means I could be with you, my lady.” and the lady cat was all: “My brave darling.” OOOPS MY HAND SLIPPED!! Suddenly my muse insisted me to draw the personification version of the last pic, and who am I to reject inspiration when it comes so willingly to me? At least this will help with the artblock issue I currently have to deal with. Russian imperial era inspired because hot damn. Note: I tried google reverse image (and other reverse image search engines) those photos and came up with nothing. I wish I knew the original photographer because I want to love hug him/her so hard for capturing such inspiring moments. OMG that’s the cutest thing ever and the best courtly love ah so brilliant. Few romantic heroes could do better. I don’t post cats often but that illustration. that ILLUSTRATION I LOVE THISSS : assasinburrito: acquaintedwithrask: stoneandbloodandwater: forthegothicheroine: youkoofthelovespot: jali-jali: charmory: this is the most romantic thing i’ve seen all day No shit. That tom cat was like: “This thorn invested wall means nothing.” “I will gladly walk on it a thousand times over, if that means I could be with you, my lady.” and the lady cat was all: “My brave darling.” OOOPS MY HAND SLIPPED!! Suddenly my muse insisted me to draw the personification version of the last pic, and who am I to reject inspiration when it comes so willingly to me? At least this will help with the artblock issue I currently have to deal with. Russian imperial era inspired because hot damn. Note: I tried google reverse image (and other reverse image search engines) those photos and came up with nothing. I wish I knew the original photographer because I want to love hug him/her so hard for capturing such inspiring moments. OMG that’s the cutest thing ever and the best courtly love ah so brilliant. Few romantic heroes could do better. I don’t post cats often but that illustration. that ILLUSTRATION I LOVE THISSS
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s0manyfandoms: plink79: wild-andfluorescent: syddisheep: mistressofdarkness97: helly-watermelonsmellinfellon: bestviralposts: source/credit Kay, but listen. Nowhere in the USA have I managed to find my name on anything in a shop(usually have to get custom made shit), but I go to the Bahamas for my Senior Trip and my name was on a version of each item available. WTF?  My mom had to spell my got damn name with a y…like why 😎🤣 I got my sister a wine bottle-shaped bottle opener this year for Christmas. She doesn’t drink wine. It was the first item we’ve found in 20 years that had her name on it. So she had to have it. My aunt got me a coke bottle made custom one year for my birthday. My name literally doesn’t exist. This used to be the case for people with made-up names, but nowadays the made-up names are seemingly more common. I can find Brayden and Jakxsen left right and centre, but good luck finding Robert or Steven. What’s more annoying is that it’s my generation who are to blame. My name is Finnish, a couple of years ago we went to Scandinavia and finally *finally* we found something with my name on it! Right now I want to change my name I am now looking for names because I want to change it : here's to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store s0manyfandoms: plink79: wild-andfluorescent: syddisheep: mistressofdarkness97: helly-watermelonsmellinfellon: bestviralposts: source/credit Kay, but listen. Nowhere in the USA have I managed to find my name on anything in a shop(usually have to get custom made shit), but I go to the Bahamas for my Senior Trip and my name was on a version of each item available. WTF?  My mom had to spell my got damn name with a y…like why 😎🤣 I got my sister a wine bottle-shaped bottle opener this year for Christmas. She doesn’t drink wine. It was the first item we’ve found in 20 years that had her name on it. So she had to have it. My aunt got me a coke bottle made custom one year for my birthday. My name literally doesn’t exist. This used to be the case for people with made-up names, but nowadays the made-up names are seemingly more common. I can find Brayden and Jakxsen left right and centre, but good luck finding Robert or Steven. What’s more annoying is that it’s my generation who are to blame. My name is Finnish, a couple of years ago we went to Scandinavia and finally *finally* we found something with my name on it! Right now I want to change my name I am now looking for names because I want to change it
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assasinburrito: acquaintedwithrask: stoneandbloodandwater: forthegothicheroine: youkoofthelovespot: jali-jali: charmory: this is the most romantic thing i’ve seen all day No shit. That tom cat was like: “This thorn invested wall means nothing.” “I will gladly walk on it a thousand times over, if that means I could be with you, my lady.” and the lady cat was all: “My brave darling.” OOOPS MY HAND SLIPPED!! Suddenly my muse insisted me to draw the personification version of the last pic, and who am I to reject inspiration when it comes so willingly to me? At least this will help with the artblock issue I currently have to deal with. Russian imperial era inspired because hot damn. Note: I tried google reverse image (and other reverse image search engines) those photos and came up with nothing. I wish I knew the original photographer because I want to love hug him/her so hard for capturing such inspiring moments. OMG that’s the cutest thing ever and the best courtly love ah so brilliant. Few romantic heroes could do better. I don’t post cats often but that illustration. that ILLUSTRATION I LOVE THISSS : assasinburrito: acquaintedwithrask: stoneandbloodandwater: forthegothicheroine: youkoofthelovespot: jali-jali: charmory: this is the most romantic thing i’ve seen all day No shit. That tom cat was like: “This thorn invested wall means nothing.” “I will gladly walk on it a thousand times over, if that means I could be with you, my lady.” and the lady cat was all: “My brave darling.” OOOPS MY HAND SLIPPED!! Suddenly my muse insisted me to draw the personification version of the last pic, and who am I to reject inspiration when it comes so willingly to me? At least this will help with the artblock issue I currently have to deal with. Russian imperial era inspired because hot damn. Note: I tried google reverse image (and other reverse image search engines) those photos and came up with nothing. I wish I knew the original photographer because I want to love hug him/her so hard for capturing such inspiring moments. OMG that’s the cutest thing ever and the best courtly love ah so brilliant. Few romantic heroes could do better. I don’t post cats often but that illustration. that ILLUSTRATION I LOVE THISSS
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Its that time of year again: Andrew Rannells @AndrewRannells I don't think any more people need to record Baby It's Cold Outside. I think we're good there teachingwithcoffee It's time to bring an end to the Rape Anthem Masquerading As Christmas Carol bigbutterandeggman Hi there! Former English nerd/teacher here Also a big fan of jazz of the 30s and 40s So. Here's the thing. Given a cursory glance and applying today's worldview to the song, yes, you're right, it absolutely *sounds* like a rape anthem. BUT! Let's look closer! "Hey what's in this drink" was a stock joke at the time, and the punchline was invariably that there's actually pretty much nothing in the drink, not even a significant amount of alcohol See, this woman is staying late, unchaperoned, at a dudes house. In the 1940's, that's the kind of thing Good Girls aren't supposed to do-and she wants people to think she's a good girl. The woman in the song says outright, multiple times, that what other people will think of her staying is what shes really concerned about "the neighbors might think" "my maiden aunt's mind is vicious," "there's bound to be talk tomorrow." But she's having a really good time, and she wants to stay, and so she is excusing her uncharacteristically bold behavior (either to the guy or to herself) by blaming it on the drink -unaware that the drink is actually really weak, maybe not even alcoholic at all. That's the joke That is the standard joke that's going on when a woman in media from the early-to-mid 20th century says "hey, what's in this drink?" It is not a joke about how she's drunk and about to be raped. It's a joke about how she's perfectly sober and about to have awesome consensual sex and use the drink for plausible deniability because she's living in a society where women aren't supposed to have sexual agency Basically, the song only makes sense in the context of a society in which women are expected to reject mens advances whether they actually want to or not, and therefore it's normal and expected for a lady's gentleman companion to pressure her despite her protests, because he knows she would have to say that whether or not she meant it, and if she really wants to stay she won't be able to justify doing so unless he offers her an excuse other than "I'm staying because I want to." (That's the main theme of the man's lines in the song, suggesting excuses she can use when people ask later why she spent the night at his house: it was so cold out, there were no cabs available, he simply insisted because he was concerned about my safety in such awful weather, it was perfectly innocent and definitely not about sex at all!) In this particular case, he's pretty clearly right, because the woman has a voice, and she's using it to give all the culturally-understood signals that she actually does want to stay but can't say so She states explicitly that she's resisting because shes supposed to, not because she wants to: "I ought to say no no no..." She states explicitly that she's just putting up a token resistance so she'll be able to claim later that she did whats expected of a decent woman in this situation: "at least I'm gonna say that I tried." And at the end of the song they're singing together, in harmony, because they're both on the same page and they have been all along So it's not actually a song about rape in fact it's a song about a woman finding a way to exercise sexual agency in a patriarchal society designed to stop her from doing so. But it's also, at the same time, one of the best illustrations of rape culture that pop culture has ever produced. It's a song about a society where women aren't allowed to say yes..which happens to mean it's also a society where women don't have a clear and unambiguous way to say no Source: matchingvnecks #baby it's cold outside #not about rape #so tired of having to explain this on 238,267 notes Dec 3rd, 2016 Its that time of year again
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crush-the-matriarchy: bitterseafigtree: thelovelybones124: fuckcornflakes: locallostgyal: neonblak: last-bi-in-town: blackqueerblog: That is CRIMINAL to send him back! That judge must be republican Yo if a child is crying this hard and begging not to go back to their mother’s house, SOMETHING IS CLEARLY WRONG. Protect the kids, man. Smh…. Oh no… my heart aches Poor baby, hurts me bc this is everyday shit… This shit fucked me up….. I always tell myself not to watch these things but always end up watching them crying feeling like a horrible person because I want to help so bad but I know I can’t. Ugh I really hope they fix this help this child There’s a website in the notes: helpussavemikey.com According to this, the dad got in trouble for illegally taking Mikey to Massachusetts without checking with the Illinois judge. They’re trying to terminate the dad’s parental rights because they’re claiming he kidnapped his kid- that he had primary custody of- and instead returning him to his mom who not only demonstrably physically abused him, but it running a fucking meth house. It’s fucking wild. Home | Help Us Save Mikey Please, please sign the petition and help in any way you can : crush-the-matriarchy: bitterseafigtree: thelovelybones124: fuckcornflakes: locallostgyal: neonblak: last-bi-in-town: blackqueerblog: That is CRIMINAL to send him back! That judge must be republican Yo if a child is crying this hard and begging not to go back to their mother’s house, SOMETHING IS CLEARLY WRONG. Protect the kids, man. Smh…. Oh no… my heart aches Poor baby, hurts me bc this is everyday shit… This shit fucked me up….. I always tell myself not to watch these things but always end up watching them crying feeling like a horrible person because I want to help so bad but I know I can’t. Ugh I really hope they fix this help this child There’s a website in the notes: helpussavemikey.com According to this, the dad got in trouble for illegally taking Mikey to Massachusetts without checking with the Illinois judge. They’re trying to terminate the dad’s parental rights because they’re claiming he kidnapped his kid- that he had primary custody of- and instead returning him to his mom who not only demonstrably physically abused him, but it running a fucking meth house. It’s fucking wild. Home | Help Us Save Mikey Please, please sign the petition and help in any way you can
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srsfunny:Some Men Want To See The World Demystified: Myths About Men That Need To Be Eradicated 1. That we don't like cuddlin'. I will cuddle your brains out. I will cuddle you so good you will walk funny the next day 2. We're not all emotionally stunted, sex driven idiots who think that women are some enigma 3. Men are worse parents, and less nurturing, than women 4. Just because I need to be physically attracted to a girl I'd like to date doesn't imply I only like girls for their looks 5. That if we like kids, we're pedophiles. 6. "Men shouldn't cry." Screw you, I ain't made out of stone 7. That men cannot ever be victims of sexual assault. 8. That men cannot ever be the victims of domestic abuse by a female partner. 9. That men can't be affectionate, we just fake it for sex. 10. That we don't get harshly judged for our appearance, and specifically our height. 11. I'm not talking to you just because I want to bone you 12. That, as a man and father, I'm incapable of changing diapers, feeding and nurturing my children, taking my kids to the park, am generally clueless when it comes to making decisions about household matters, can't grocery shop, can't sew or cook, and generally have no clue what to do with my kids/house/money 13. Ladies, really, we have no idea what we did. Stop being mad and explain 14. Commercials make us look like bumbling idiots who can't dress ourselves. 15. When women say we ALL stereotype women, which is really them stereotyping men 16. That men think about sex every 7 seconds I/. All men like sports 18. That by being sexually attracted to you, we are somehow dehumanizing you, or objectifying you. This can happen, but it is not an automatic consequence of a man's sexuality 19. Having a boner doesn't always mean that we're excited, it can just happen for no goddamn reason and it doesn't make us more perverted than you girls! 20. That enjoying effeminate things and enjoying women are mutually exclusive srsfunny:Some Men Want To See The World Demystified
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