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Baseball, Head, and Black: An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: he bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat 1. T 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you sll wanna tell that joke?' The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.' Classic Joke
Memes, Sex, and Gas Station: Warning be careful with these two women. they come to you to ask for a lift to a gas station. When in the car the blonde woman proceeds to giving you oral sex, while the brunette takes your wallet. I have already been robbed six times
Ass, Bad, and Beautiful: teaboot I swear to God I'm going to kill my pothead stoner asshole neighbors. This apartment has no fucking air circulation and it's hot as Lucifer's tits in here so I open window and it's fucking 25/7around-the-clock goddamned fucking CLOUDS of fucking weed coming up the side of the building, fucking hotboxes by proxy two stories up. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Like I could not physically give less of a steaming shit that they're smoking pot, I don't care, I don't give a FUUUUCK, but it's a beautiful 3 in the afternoon or pouring rain at 1 AM and ITS PRECIPITATING WEED SWEAT IN MY LIVIBG ROOM I swear to God they're just chucking it by the kilo onto the barbecue at this point. They've got to be hosting a fucking White Trash Bob Marley revival tour on their fucking balcony and broadcasting it live to Hoboken They're doing a goddamned kush marathon fundraiser to raise awareness for discontinued Doritos flavours I can hear them coughing smoke. FROM MY BATHROOM Every so often I hear a loud ass *wheeeeze*, and I pray to the Lord that one of them has finally Gone Home To Jesus There is no reason in the entire known universe for three people to consume this much fucking devil lettuce per day. They should be dead. They're going to be the first known death caused by a marijuana overdose I cannot overstate how bad it smells When I open my window, I'm immediately astral-projected into the body of a 43 year old blonde woman with dreadlocks named Amethystglow Phoenixfire. She has an OM tattoo on top of her left foot and sells decorative gourds online. Her "spirit animal" is a tiger. She has a rescue dog and feeds it on a strict vegan diet. She doesn't believe in soap An hour later I emerge from my vision wearing a triple X size mumu, one burkinstock, and a Lulu lemon headband. I didn't own a bongo before, but I do now teaboot I promised my mama I wouldn't grow up to be a violet person but Its past midnight on a Thursday and I'm about to go downstairs and strangle these shit spewing smog muppets with my own two bare hands teaboot I have to get up at 6 AM for work tomorrow morning and I'm going to have to walk past a crime scene that looks like three oily sheepdogs were beaten to death by Oscar the grouch and I'm going to have to pretend I have no idea what happened teaboot I'm so fucking high right now teaboot HOLY FUCK THIS IS STILL MY LIFE BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE THEIR COUGHS ARE NOW A LONG, WHISTLING WHEEZE SO MAYBE GOD IS HERE TO INTERVENE Source: teaboot The neighbors are doing the weed.
Baseball, Head, and Tumblr: An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde oke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartende r is a blonde girl with a baseball bat 2. The bouncer is a blonde irl 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt ir karate 4. T he woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. 'Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind cowboy thinks for a second shakes his head, and mutters, No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.' srsfunny:Do You Want To Hear A Blonde Joke?
srsfunny:Do You Want To Hear A Blonde Joke?
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