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image-descriptions: chauvinistsushi: moonside-tim: sparksd2145: Brian Kane hacked this into the funniest thing I have seen in a while. i have reblogged this before but have i mentioned that i love how it opens its mouth when it makes that tone that signifies that it’s ready for use? it’s small, but it’s there, and it amuses me every time THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN [Video of a Big Mouth Billy Bass toy.Off-screen speaker: Alexa. (Bass turns its head to the left, “looking” at the camera, and opens and shuts its mouth while making the Alexa startup sound) Off-screen speaker: What’s the weather? Bass: Currently in Cambridge, it’s 45 degrees with showers. Tonight, you can look for rainy weather, with a low of 43 degrees. (Bass abruptly turns its head so it’s facing forward again)] : image-descriptions: chauvinistsushi: moonside-tim: sparksd2145: Brian Kane hacked this into the funniest thing I have seen in a while. i have reblogged this before but have i mentioned that i love how it opens its mouth when it makes that tone that signifies that it’s ready for use? it’s small, but it’s there, and it amuses me every time THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN [Video of a Big Mouth Billy Bass toy.Off-screen speaker: Alexa. (Bass turns its head to the left, “looking” at the camera, and opens and shuts its mouth while making the Alexa startup sound) Off-screen speaker: What’s the weather? Bass: Currently in Cambridge, it’s 45 degrees with showers. Tonight, you can look for rainy weather, with a low of 43 degrees. (Bass abruptly turns its head so it’s facing forward again)]
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lowoncliches: note-a-bear: My mom sent this to me and i’m howling White woman: Hi fellow white people. Are you having a sad because that family is enjoying a picnic in the park while being black? Did that customer in front of you just speak a language that makes you irrationally angry? Well this is a great time to try *holds up bottle* Mind Your Own Fucking Business. With Mind Your Own Fucking Business you’ll be able to grow the fuck up and act like a decent fucking human being. Our patented technology allows you to pull your head out of your ass and see the world beyond the brim of your MAGA hat. White man: Hi honey, I saw some black people at the Starbucks today. Woman: Did you mind your own fucking business? Man: I sure fucking did. *both laughing* Woman: Stop bothering those nice people today with Mind Your Own Fucking Business. Man: Side effects may include not harassing people, no one getting arrested or murdered by police, a general sense of well-being for people of color, a lack of Internet fame and or trolling, and coexistence. Please consult a doctor if you are still a piece of shit after Minding Your Own Fucking Business as the symptoms may be result of a deeper problem and require further treatment. Woman: Now available at Anthropology in Whole Foods. [Censoring beeps removed for better readability.] : lowoncliches: note-a-bear: My mom sent this to me and i’m howling White woman: Hi fellow white people. Are you having a sad because that family is enjoying a picnic in the park while being black? Did that customer in front of you just speak a language that makes you irrationally angry? Well this is a great time to try *holds up bottle* Mind Your Own Fucking Business. With Mind Your Own Fucking Business you’ll be able to grow the fuck up and act like a decent fucking human being. Our patented technology allows you to pull your head out of your ass and see the world beyond the brim of your MAGA hat. White man: Hi honey, I saw some black people at the Starbucks today. Woman: Did you mind your own fucking business? Man: I sure fucking did. *both laughing* Woman: Stop bothering those nice people today with Mind Your Own Fucking Business. Man: Side effects may include not harassing people, no one getting arrested or murdered by police, a general sense of well-being for people of color, a lack of Internet fame and or trolling, and coexistence. Please consult a doctor if you are still a piece of shit after Minding Your Own Fucking Business as the symptoms may be result of a deeper problem and require further treatment. Woman: Now available at Anthropology in Whole Foods. [Censoring beeps removed for better readability.]
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quicksillver: rise-up-ting-ting-like-glitter: quicksillver: [ID two versions of the same inked drawing of the comic versions of Clint Barton and Bucky Barnes. One is colored, the other is black and white. Bucky has on a blue jacket and tac pants. He’s also wearing a belt that’s attached to a thigh holster and a shoulder holster. His right arm is draped around Clint’s shoulders. His head is tilted and he has a small smirk on his face. Clint is dressed in a tight-fitting long sleeved purple shirt with his light purple chevron on his chest. He has olive green joggers on and a hip quiver. He’s holding his right arm close to him and has a sort of shy or embarrassed look on his face. end ID] I thought Clint’s chest chevron was a boob window in the uncoloured version XD [ID same drawing as above except now Clint’s chevron is a titty window, like it should be. end ID] : quicksillver: rise-up-ting-ting-like-glitter: quicksillver: [ID two versions of the same inked drawing of the comic versions of Clint Barton and Bucky Barnes. One is colored, the other is black and white. Bucky has on a blue jacket and tac pants. He’s also wearing a belt that’s attached to a thigh holster and a shoulder holster. His right arm is draped around Clint’s shoulders. His head is tilted and he has a small smirk on his face. Clint is dressed in a tight-fitting long sleeved purple shirt with his light purple chevron on his chest. He has olive green joggers on and a hip quiver. He’s holding his right arm close to him and has a sort of shy or embarrassed look on his face. end ID] I thought Clint’s chest chevron was a boob window in the uncoloured version XD [ID same drawing as above except now Clint’s chevron is a titty window, like it should be. end ID]
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genericdubstep: daughterofthestars08: bellaxiao: Self-defense? He’s 6 years old ffs…I can’t More infuriating info: The boy is autistic The boy and his father were in a truck The father stopped the vehicle and raised his arms to show he was unarmed ONE OF THE ARRESTED OFFICERS WAS ACTIVELY STALKING THE FATHER’S FIANCE They are trying to claim self defense AND claim they didn’t know there was a child in the truck They fired “no less than 18 rounds” into the truck The father was hit but still alive. The boy ended up being shot in the head multiple times. There is bodycam footage of the incident and every official/lawyer that has seen and spoken on it has called it horrific. 50% of all police violence victims are autistic or mentally ill. If an autistic person starts screaming or can’t look a cop in the eyes, they use that as an excuse to shoot. I hope Black Lives Matter starts talking about that, too. Police violence hurts the mentally ill a lot and of course that also means black autistic / mentally ill kids are getting hurt and killed. Ableism is deadly. : genericdubstep: daughterofthestars08: bellaxiao: Self-defense? He’s 6 years old ffs…I can’t More infuriating info: The boy is autistic The boy and his father were in a truck The father stopped the vehicle and raised his arms to show he was unarmed ONE OF THE ARRESTED OFFICERS WAS ACTIVELY STALKING THE FATHER’S FIANCE They are trying to claim self defense AND claim they didn’t know there was a child in the truck They fired “no less than 18 rounds” into the truck The father was hit but still alive. The boy ended up being shot in the head multiple times. There is bodycam footage of the incident and every official/lawyer that has seen and spoken on it has called it horrific. 50% of all police violence victims are autistic or mentally ill. If an autistic person starts screaming or can’t look a cop in the eyes, they use that as an excuse to shoot. I hope Black Lives Matter starts talking about that, too. Police violence hurts the mentally ill a lot and of course that also means black autistic / mentally ill kids are getting hurt and killed. Ableism is deadly.

genericdubstep: daughterofthestars08: bellaxiao: Self-defense? He’s 6 years old ffs…I can’t More infuriating info: The boy is autistic...

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cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER : cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the g...

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ups-dogs:So, my name is Ron. I go by RJ on Instagram. A UPSer from Chula Vista, California. It’s a city 20 min south of San Diego proper.Here are 3 pics of my new friend Neon. While delivering in an area we affectionately call “the Dirt”, due to most roads are not paved and not maintained. 60 stops can take 5 to 8 hours depending on weather and road conditions. Very rural. Anyway… it was down pouring rain yesterday and I was near the end of my day. Came back to my truck to find this dude curled up just inside the bulk head door. He was soaked. Obviously very friendly and just trying to get out of the rain, I assume. Long story, I know. Sorry. Well, I called the numbers on his tag and found out he lived about a mile or so down the road. Owner wasn’t sure how he got out. Neon was still a pup! He’s gonna be a huge boy! He’s already about 60 pounds. So, I drove him home where he was welcomed by his sister who scolded (barked) him for leaving. But he is now my newest UPS dog friend on route!Cheers!Ron JimenezUPSer La Mesa hub@rcj65_imagery: ups-dogs:So, my name is Ron. I go by RJ on Instagram. A UPSer from Chula Vista, California. It’s a city 20 min south of San Diego proper.Here are 3 pics of my new friend Neon. While delivering in an area we affectionately call “the Dirt”, due to most roads are not paved and not maintained. 60 stops can take 5 to 8 hours depending on weather and road conditions. Very rural. Anyway… it was down pouring rain yesterday and I was near the end of my day. Came back to my truck to find this dude curled up just inside the bulk head door. He was soaked. Obviously very friendly and just trying to get out of the rain, I assume. Long story, I know. Sorry. Well, I called the numbers on his tag and found out he lived about a mile or so down the road. Owner wasn’t sure how he got out. Neon was still a pup! He’s gonna be a huge boy! He’s already about 60 pounds. So, I drove him home where he was welcomed by his sister who scolded (barked) him for leaving. But he is now my newest UPS dog friend on route!Cheers!Ron JimenezUPSer La Mesa hub@rcj65_imagery

ups-dogs:So, my name is Ron. I go by RJ on Instagram. A UPSer from Chula Vista, California. It’s a city 20 min south of San Diego proper....

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