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Ass, Cinderella , and Click: kaylapocalypse:  ok  so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you should. Like… if you’re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn’t do it justice. The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific.  I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture. This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only like 1 minute long. Highlights/Breakdown The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast.  the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of “Please! Monster!” Fiona’s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around–strength that he disregards which is why hes surprised as hell when he gets his ass beat Just the entire french accent that isn’t even a good french accent at all. The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background  Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore™; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like “yikesssss” shrek’s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the “saucy little maid” bit.  “what hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.”  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging “wtf” gestures.  When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek’s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like “wow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison” which is additionally apart of the above long running joke Fiona interrupting robin with a kick. the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock.  The fight after isn’t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef* Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.
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Apparently, Head, and Parents: epochayur people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted oonabashed This is true. I once did this to cheat at a pool game, and a kid in goggles saw me do it He wanted to know how, so l told him I was part mermaid. He wanted to call bullshit, but I was like, look kid, I can prove t, but you're not allowed to tell anyone under 18. He said what about his mom, I said, sure, but she won't believe you, so it didn't matter if he ratted on me to an adult. He was skeptical but agreed. For the next ten minutes I executed any number of water related feats-I've been swimming since I was 3 and was on the swimming and diving team in high school I crossed the entire span of the pool underwater without taking a breath. I sat on the bottom of the pool for a minute. I lifted him over my head while only treading water. I floated face down without moving for a convincing stretch of time. I did a pretty choice inward pike off the diving board. This was what really convinced him. He'd seen a dolphin show once, apparently, and thought it was pretty comparable So yeah. This kid was straight up convinced I was a mermaid and was losing his shit and trying to figure out how to get around his promise He went over to the hottub to tell all the parents and they all like, smiled and laughed and nodded. He could tell they didn't believe him. He came back and was like You were right about adults." Yeah kid, I know" "Well but, you're the most important discovery I've ever made! I gotta tell someonel" Well. You need to establish some credibility first, I told him. "You have to prove to people that you're a serious scientific thinker, and then when you say stuff like this, they might believe you. He thought about this for a second. "But what if you just showed them?" and I said it was against half memaid rules to show adults anything that could make them suspicious. He took this seriously He spent the rest of his time in the pool following me around. I taught him how to hold his breath underwater without plugging his nose and how to do a backstroke I'm still proud of this, and regret nothing o marky-mark-quack-quack-quack 698,054 notes 14 Times People On Tumblr Told Really Great Stories
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God, Tumblr, and Adult Swim: the price isrice adult swim] [adult swim] kiyokospeaks: The more I see of Eric Andre the more I’m convinced he is some chaotic neutral trickster god sent to the mortal plane to torment us

kiyokospeaks: The more I see of Eric Andre the more I’m convinced he is some chaotic neutral trickster god sent to the mortal plane to torme...

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Birthday, College, and Elf: r/AskReddit Posted by u/pijeN57.11Hh What's the weird way you met one of your now best friends? Discussion 3.4k Share BEST COMMENTS GarunixReborn 11h We were at year 7 camp, and he ran... MinerOfStarDust 9 . 8h . One of my best friends an I m… CarterMT099 10h We were both trying to get with the sa. DaPretzelBoi 11h I threw a rock. I wasn't aiming at him, Frugal_Midwestern 10h I went to her birthday party in ki... PixelLaurs 10h My therapist told me it would be a good idea to make a friend. I disagreed because I thoughtI was doing just fine by myself, but then again I was in therapy for an attachment disorder so I wasn't really the expert on that. She eventually convinced me to give it a try, which I did mostly just to get her to stop bothering me about it. I had seen a girl walking around my college campus a few times wearing elf ears, so I thought, if I have to have a friend, that's the one I want. I approached her one day at lunch and started a conversation about the ears. As it turns out, she told me one of the reas- ons she wore them was as a conversation starter to help her make friends. I told her it worked and asked her flat out if she wanted to be friends because social interaction is hard and I didn't know how else to go about it. Well, it turns out my therapist was right. The elf-ear girl was my maid of honor when I got married last August, but I had to ask her not to wear them during the ceremony. :) Reply 3.9k This is wholesome in the true sense.

This is wholesome in the true sense.

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Advice, Family, and Friends: r/AskReddit Posted by u/tmurg375 15h What's a secret your SO still doesn't know about you, and why have you kept it secret? Discussion 4 3.0k 2.8k Share BEST COMMENTS Honkey_McCracker.9h I hate her homemade spaghetti s.. Jollyskin 13 6画2-8h About eight years ago I discovered my wife's sister's reddit account accidentally. It was a variation of a username she'd used for AIM before, but with different numbers and no underscore (the numbers were a significant date to her though). There were too many coincidences in her posts for it not to be her. She was posting on the relationship advice sub- reddit. Her (now ex-) husband was abusive. We'd known something was off about him, but couldn't really put our finger on it. I created another ac- count that I only accessed from incognito mode to send her encouragement to leave, and to ask her family or friends (but kinda steered her towards us) for help. She didn't want to impose or be a burden on any of them (we'd just had a kid, and I make a bunch of money but we live well within our means so you wouldn't think this based on ap- pearances, so it was an understandable concern) I slowly, over several weeks and several different posts she made, convinced her that it's possible her family realizes something isn't quite right and would not consider it a burden to help her out. After their divorce I deleted that account, Nobodv will ever know that the random internet stranger who was weirdly persistent in encouraging my SIL to reach out to her family for help and leave her abusive marriage was actually me. Reply 12.0k positive-memes: Wholesome Brother in Law

positive-memes: Wholesome Brother in Law

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Advice, Family, and Friends: r/AskReddit Posted by u/tmurg375 15h What's a secret your SO still doesn't know about you, and why have you kept it secret? Discussion T 3.0k 2.8k Share BEST COMMENTS Honkey_McCracker.9h I hate her homemade spaghetti s... About eight years ago I discovered my wife's sister's reddit account accidentally, It was a variation of a username she'd used for AIM before, but with different numbers and no underscore (the numbers were a significant date to her though). There were too many coincidences in her posts for it not to be her. She was posting on the relationship advice sub- reddit. Her (now ex-) husband was abusive. We'd known something was off about him, but couldn't really put our finger on it. I created another ac- count that I only accessed from incognito mode to send her encouragement to leave, and to ask her family or friends (but kinda steered her towards us) for help. She didn't want to impose or be a burden on any of them (we'd just had a kid, and I make a bunch of money but we live well within our means so you wouldn't think this based on ap- pearances, so it was an understandable concern). I slowly, over several weeks and several different posts she made, convinced her that it's possible her family realizes something isn't quite right and would not consider it a burden to help her out. After their divorce I deleted that account. Nobody will ever know that the random internet stranger who was weirdly persistent in encouraging my SIL to reach out to her family for help and leave her abusive marriage was actually me. * Reply 12.0k
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Advice, Family, and Friends: r/AskReddit Posted by u/tmurg375 15h What's a secret your SO still doesn't know about you, and why have you kept it secret? Discussion 4 3.0k 2.8k Share BEST COMMENTS Honkey_McCracker.9h I hate her homemade spaghetti s.. Jollyskin 13 6画2-8h About eight years ago I discovered my wife's sister's reddit account accidentally. It was a variation of a username she'd used for AIM before, but with different numbers and no underscore (the numbers were a significant date to her though). There were too many coincidences in her posts for it not to be her. She was posting on the relationship advice sub- reddit. Her (now ex-) husband was abusive. We'd known something was off about him, but couldn't really put our finger on it. I created another ac- count that I only accessed from incognito mode to send her encouragement to leave, and to ask her family or friends (but kinda steered her towards us) for help. She didn't want to impose or be a burden on any of them (we'd just had a kid, and I make a bunch of money but we live well within our means so you wouldn't think this based on ap- pearances, so it was an understandable concern) I slowly, over several weeks and several different posts she made, convinced her that it's possible her family realizes something isn't quite right and would not consider it a burden to help her out. After their divorce I deleted that account, Nobodv will ever know that the random internet stranger who was weirdly persistent in encouraging my SIL to reach out to her family for help and leave her abusive marriage was actually me. Reply 12.0k Wholesome Brother in Law

Wholesome Brother in Law

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Being Alone, Cheating, and Crazy: And you guys have the nerve to call me a liar you had the nerve to try and act like my friend stand and see the sadness I was in friend me on Facebook, and then post pictures of my husband that you came from by God knows who to probably purposely interfere and feed him lies or you both were in on it together, COPS thats Who you both probably work for or you recruited him and he really did love me in the beginning your probably not even the real girl he was talking to l bet your whole identity fake, well l'm going to find out everything about you who you both are, and if it's the last thing I ever dol promise you that now l'm taking the private investigatorsrt on A and proof he, hired and sent You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More paid, to purposely inflict mental duress and trigger my PTSD I thought the was you on the nanny cam but see that's why A didn't get a dime, because he Was sloppy in the beginning And betweens, I knew he was cheating and using me and apart of publicly outing me after the wedding to create mental dehabilitation ive got all your names identities and pictures but atleastni figured it out before I was stupid enough to buy a car or pay a attorney it's you and him that hack my electronics vou were the one moving my stuff and hiding it when you were over here fucking him you both are perfect for each other psychopaths liars users and snakes but I promise you if l do it with my last breath I'm going to mak J 'e he goes to jail and if I'm лу I'll get all of You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More jail and if l'm lucky l'll get all of you sent to jail. I just wonder though for he was recruited just b4 the wedding or from the beginning something tells me that it was from the beginning.. Karma so going to get you, and misery you caused and cause others will fall upon your life's and souls the child your bearing will carry your sins, the Hapiness you stole all for money or other things of this world you'll pay for with your souls. But my life long torture ends today no longer will any of you win, no longer will I fall for your mind games I'm going to fight back and win win win, you guys are something else all the proof I have when we go to court and I know that your not the only girl S aka P is involved but vou know what th lians say laugh now cry <er... You think You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More laugh now cry later... You think your going to get away but this isnt American soil this is Canadian land this is the queens country where we are guided by humans rights and truly governed by the UN. And the UN has no tolerance for Gangstalking! And tell A I'm not signing anything 'II see him behind bars I'm going to make sure all the evidence is displayed in divorce court too he can say 911 calls that l abused him little does he know I have recordings of the calls where vou can see him putting on this grandiose display of false crys all while smiling... I know I've been knew he was dirty A with the tiny tinky dick. The life insurance he pulled out in my name, this time I'm not going to let me be the sacrifice because I'm focused sober and mentally grounded no You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More to let me be the sacrifice because I'm focused sober and mentally grounded no longer are my thoughts emotional there logical and intellectual get ready for me to expose who and what you ppl really are with God has my leader and archangel Michael my protectors will conquer and destroy this evil psychopathic cult/USGovt extension although now with proof you exist and names photos recordings I don't think the govt of Canada will be to pleased that the US has beern running unsanctioned operations within their borders.and nowI think it's time for thevUSB to be released You lost your mind. Leave me alone You can't reply to this conversation. Learn More This lady is convinced my fiancé is her husband in disguise. She thinks one of my friends is a bounty hunter from Texas sent by the Mexican cartel to steal her inheritance and ruin her relationship. (Idk if this belongs here, I didn't know where else to post this.)
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