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Ass, Fucking, and Future: fckin-deactivated20171107 I'm thinking about her ghettoinuyasha forbidden fruit saacmemes Why do grown ass adults want to eat Tide pods so much? kitswulf Because a ton of the visual/olfactory/ textural sensory information these pods give me the match nutritionally-dense fruit. It's got the oleic gleam of something high-fat like an avocado, but bright carotenoid-rich coloration like a berry that wants to be eaten by red seeing primates and birds. It tends to smell sweet and slightly floral, enhancing that effect. Similarly, when you hold it, it is quite dense (denser than water), but very soft and liquid, once again reaffirming that this "fruit" has either high sugar or high fat content and almost no cellulose to it. As a result, within me is a less-clever monkey just screaming to eat this delicious fruit in my hand about to go into the laundry, and it does in fact take willpower to tell him he's a stupid monkey and this is a bubble of foul- tasting poison. But every time I do laundry, this fucking limbic monstrosity rises again and assures me it's basically like a cherry but Even Better. I have legitimately debated just biting down on one in the hopes of inducing a deterrent memory to forestall this urge in the future, but that's what my goddamn mammal-brain wants me to fucking do and I refuse to let it win. ciphercoyote Human Brain: Don't eat the posion pod its fucking posion Monkey Brain: Eat the fruit pod its fruit Lizard Brain: The Washing Machine Is Vibrating Give It The Sex Fish Brain: Climb inside the washing machine it is safe 184,928 notes the forbidden fruit
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Fucking, Laundry, and Run: critical-sproongle: failure-to-adult: crowsister: bodecats: onlyblackgirl: coleworld1: thikchikcity3: Projects laundry room cheat codes… Cuh a real one for this! WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY TO DO LAUNDRY IN A BUILDING I’M ALREADY PAYING TO LIVE IN???? This could be important for my fellow poor people who need to save as much as they can @we-are-rogue I did the math.  If I do a load of laundry every week (I technically have to do two, as my undershirts are washed at a different temperature and air dried), so its $6 a week.  That’s $312 per year.  There are six units in my building, assuming they are spending the same on average (but probably more), that’s $1872 per year that my landlord pulls in.  I can FRIGGIN GUARANTEE YOU that the collective building *DOES NOT* spend $1872 per year in water and power to run the washer and dryer.  I also pay $1200 per month in rent, which is $14,400 per year.  Between 6 units that’s $86,400, plus the laundry fees lets call that $88k that the building pulls in per year.  I can FUCKING GUARANTEE YOU this building does *NOT* use that much in water and property taxes, and every unit pays for its own electricity.My landlord owns 10 buildings, all of the same design.  The entire lot of 10 buildings has one superintendent.  The buildings do not have AC, their appliances have not been replaced in a minimum of 20+ years, and the washer and dryer are…well they’re ancient.I feel *ZERO* sympathy if I can make this work in the laundry room. Reblogging again becuase this is great
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Ass, Fucking, and Future: phoqueboi junkirat fckin I'm thinking about her ghettoinuyasha forbidden fruit isaacmemes Why do grown ass adults want to eat Tide pods so much? kitswulf Because a ton of the visual/olfactory/textural sensory information these pods give me the match nutritionally-dense fruit. It's got the oleic gleam of something high-fat like arn avocado, but bright carotenoid-rich coloration like a berry that wants to be eaten by red- seeing primates and birds. It tends to smell sweet and slightly floral, enhancing that effect. Similarly, when you hold it, it is quite dense (denser than water), but very soft and liquid, once again reaffirming that this "fruit" has either high sugar or high fat content and almost no cellulose to it. As a result, within me is a less-clever monkey just screaming to eat this delicious fruit in my hand about to go into the laundry, and it does in fact take willpower to tell him he's a stupid monkey and this is a bubble of foul tasting poison. But every time I do laundry, this fucking limbic monstrosity rises again and assures me it's basically like a cherry but Even Better. I have legitimately debated just biting down on one in the hopes of inducing a deterrent memory to forestall this urge in the future, but that's what my goddamn mammal- brain wants me to fucking do and I refuse to let it win ciphercoyote Human Brain: Don't eat the posion pod its fucking posion Monkey Brain: Eat the fruit pod its fruit Lizard Brain: The Washing Machine Is Vibrating Give It The Sex Fish Brain: Climb inside the washing machine it is safe. The Forbidden Fruit
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Ass, Be Like, and Bless Up: The only glo ups I care about: @DrSmashlove Alright second thing (peep my prior caption for part 1 of this): ladies if Mike making plans with u, he like u. PLANS. PLANS MEAN A RESTAURANT THAT SERVE FOOD. MIKE IN SWEATPANTS AND NIKE FLIP FLOPS at 11:02 pm AIN'T PLANS 😂. U feel me? If he never making plans then he just keeping u warm. If he keeping shit fun, he likely fuck with u and u just give it time and also revert to point 1, above - keep options open - if Ethan who u see in the basement of your building doing laundry who always smile at u finally build up the balls to ask u out, give him a chance - u and Mike ain't married - and make it easy on Ethan, some of these young boys only know how to swipe, they never learned to spit game IRL - tease him a lil bit - tell him he not suppose to leave shit in the dryer for four hours and u could teach him how to time it so he ain't gotta iron - u feel me? Break his balls a lil bit. Go gentle tho some of these young boys are a lil pusspuss so u can't be all "HAHAHA THAT SHIRT IS UGLY WHERE DO U SHOP LOL DEAD WOW BOB SAGET FROM FULL HOUSE CALLED AND HE WANTS HIS SHIRT BACK *DAD* OL 'HEAD OF A HOUSEHOLD' LOOKIN ASS. ALSO, DOCKERS? DOCKER KHAKIS? HAHAHA OLD MAN LOOKIN ASS, GRANDPA MARV LOOKIN ASS, FIX ME A METAMUCIL AND SODA LOLOL." I love a woman who attack me relentlessly, stab me and then twist the knife, and push my buttons until steam coming out of my ears because I'm crazy 🤗 but not all men can handle that 😂. Tease him gently like in a flirty way: "ayeeee u know there's a way to do laundry so it doesn't get wrinkly - if you're lucky maybe I'll teach you some time 😉" then just disappear with your pleasant smelling laundry and a lil switch in your step and fvck his brain up a lil bit u feel me? Have Ethan imagining how he gon ask u out. Then when u see him at the pub up the street be like, under your breath: "AM I GONNA HAVE TO LITERALLY GRAB YOU BY THE DICK AND LEAD YOU BACK TO MY PLACE LOL" and he's like "what??" And you're like "oh I was just saying they got Three Floyds here - I love this place 😀." Fvck with him a lil bit. Leave him a lil something. Ya dig? But just live life and keep options open. God cooked up a plan, jus wait on it 👌. Bless up! 😍
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