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Being Alone, Charlie, and Facebook: toddler facebook from MOMMYSHORTS.com Ava B My mom thinks I'm going down for a nap when we get home. Bwahahaha. She's hilarious. Like Comment 2 minutes ago 15 toddlers like this. 1 minute ago Like 3 Luke A FYI- I convinced my mom I don't need a nap. Now she lets me watch TV every afternoon because SHE needs a break! WIN 23 seconds ago Like 14 Write a comment... Kara G I pooped in the bath tub while taking a bath last night and my mom had to scoop it up with a cup and flush it down the toilet. LMAO! Like Comment 4 minutes ago 12 toddlers like this Lila G I hope it wasn't one of my sippy cups, sis! 3 minutes ago via mobile Like s 2 Write a comment... Owen G Forgot the teacher's name at Gymboree today so called her Mommy. What's the big deal? Isn't that every woman's name? Like Comment 10 minutes ago 21 toddlers like this. Gillian H It's the woman in my house's name. 9 minutes ago Like 5 Thomas L Mine too! 5 minutes ago Like. Write a comment... Lee P My cat really looks like it needs it's tail pulled. Repeatedly. Like Comment 18 minutes ago 34 toddlers like this. Martin D So, here's the thing. I totally know how to use the potty. But Mommy keeps giving me treats if I make it seem like a surprise when I go. Psht. Diapers for life, yo. Like Comment 30 minutes ago 47 toddlers like this. Hannah W I stopped using diapers at 15 months. 22 minutes ago Like Charlie G UNLIKE 15 minutes ago Like 32 Write a comment.. KortneyA I opened all of my mom's tampons today and watched them expand in the toilet. It was awesome. You should all try this at home. Like Comment 34 minutes ago 16 toddlers like this. Cassie S Why did mommy walk into the laundry room?! Oh no, I don't think she's ever coming back! I'm going to be in the living room alone Like Comment 45 minutes ago 1 toddler likes this. Thomas L UPDATE: She came back. Sorry for the false alarm. 44 minutes ago Write a comment... Shelley B It's fun to ask for "no bubbles" once my bubble bath is ready. Like Comment 48 minutes ago 33 toddlers like this. Lucas N Is it bedtime yet? Because that's the time I like to announce I'm ready to eat my dinner Like Comment 1 hour ago 10 toddlers like this. Mark T I'm about to pretend I need to poop on the potty so... YES. 50 minutes ago Like 1 Write a comment... Nikki S Watch, I'm gonna ask for a red popsicle and when mom gives it to me, I'm going to scream 'I SAID PURPLE' and have a fit. Like Comment 1 hour ago 44 toddlers like this. Ella B Ha. I tried that yesterday with the blue sippy cup instead of the green one. SO MUCH FUN!!!! 54 minutes ago Like 4 Daniel N LOL. Moms are so easy to piss off 24 minutes ago Like- 23 Write a comment... MOMMYSHORTS.com you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny:If Toddlers Could Actually Post On Facebook

srsfunny:If Toddlers Could Actually Post On Facebook

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Bad, Family, and Phone: 2 When my grandfather was young he owned a roadside motel, and my mother used to do work around the motel for the family. The building was old and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber were a fairly regular occurrence over there At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest checked out, so they called the plumber to come and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the snake I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical powered snake with a big motor on the back and a little grabby claw on the end So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the control to open the mechanical claw at the end of the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in reverse and starts to pull it back up By now a couple of members of the staff have gathered in the room to try and tigure out what the hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant machine couldn't remove. The motor is really straining you know that sound an electric motor makes when it's working really hard? The whole machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back up through the pipes and into the roonm Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's a shower curtain, The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure out how this could have happened. It would be weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be even weirder if the guest had brought their own shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down the toilet, but it's clearly one of their shower curtains. Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that the shower curtain had already been replaced, and then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide the evidence? While they're discussing this, the room phone rings The person on the other end is screaming, hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to figure out that it's the housekeeper who was cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, the manage to get the story out of her: The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than spiraling down into the plumbing where it was intended to go, it had wound its way into the central line, and then back up the pipes in the room next door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and then started flailing wildly around the next-door bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw opened on the end of it and snagged the shower curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it around the room until it was coiled tightly around the cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl The actual clog was never found 10980 Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

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Target, Tumblr, and Blog: preoprix: Trying to make backgrounds I made in some 3D program look nice. Aaaand all my effort went down the toilet augh.

preoprix: Trying to make backgrounds I made in some 3D program look nice. Aaaand all my effort went down the toilet augh.

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