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Bailey Jay, Funny, and Target: edbx After every flight, FedEx pilots fill out a form, known as a "gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S") by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense if humour P. Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tyre almost replaced. P Test flight OK, auto-land very rough S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft P Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit P Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back order P Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground. P. Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level P Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick S: That's what friction locks are for. P. IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode P Suspect crack in windshielod S: Suspect you're right P Number 3 engine missing S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious P. Target radar hums S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed in cockpit P Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. Mechanic with a good sense of humor

Mechanic with a good sense of humor

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Bailey Jay, Funny, and Target: FedEX HumOr Fedx FedEx FedEx After every flight, FEDEX pilots fill out a form, known as a "gripe sheet to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S")by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor: P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tire almost replaced. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back order. P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed P: DME volume unbelievably loud S: DME voulme set more believeable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick S: That's what friction locks are for P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspect crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed in cockpit. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer S: Took hammer away from midget. srsfunny:The Fedex Pilots Gripe Sheet

srsfunny:The Fedex Pilots Gripe Sheet

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Animals, Bad, and Children: 61below tumblr Follow lovelylilpup prokopetz I've seen a lot of videos going around of urban-dwelling critters coming to humans for help with various problems, ranging from boxes stuck on their heads to young trapped down a storm drain, and it's gotten me to thinking On the one hand, it's kind of fascinating that they know to do that. On the other hand, setting any questions of how this sort of behaviour must have arisen aside for the nonce, does it ever strike you how weird it is that we've got a whole collection of prey species whose basic problem-solving script ends with the step "if all else fails, go bother one of the local apex predators and maybe they'll fix the problem for no reason"? roachpatrol well, come to think of it, we're at the top of the food chain but we almost exclusively hunt and kill prey out in the country raccoons and possums and foxes and crows all succeed in an urban environment because they're opportunistic and observant. and almost none of them would have observed us pounce on one of their species and then start eating it, you know? a lot of them would have observed that we scream and chase them out of wherever we don't want them to be, but other animals are territorial too. but there's a number of situations where humans feed whoever's bold enough to take them up on the offer, and we do tend to pull garbage off of other animals as soon as they slow down enough for us to catch. 'a human got me but nothing bad happened' is a much more frequent thing than 'a human got me and tried to eat me anyway like, we're masters of our environment, we make weird shit happen all the time, we have lots of great food and sometimes we share, and we almost never eat someone. it makes sense for urban animals, over the last century or so, to just keep an eye out for opportunities to use us, and to pass the habit on to their kids. tsfennec It really is a weird, funny thing. Like yeah, technically they're predators, and they get pretty screamy, especially if you try to take any of their stuff... but given the chance it seems like they'd rather help us out and sometimes they'll just randomly give you food, so??? I mean, I guess in fairytales and myths we've got our fair share of stories about dangerous people/creatures who might well kill you or otherwise ruin your life but to whom people nonetheless turn for help in desperate circumstances. So it's not like the perspective is exactly a foreign thing to our own mindset, really It's just that, y'know, we can't actually go make a deal with the faeries when there's something we can't figure out Which brings me to an interesting thought about the ubiquitous rule about never eating the faery food lest you find yourself forever unsatisfied with anything in the human world- and the potential parallels to the dangers of feeding wildlife human food lest they become addicted and too tame and dependent to be safe for either themselves or us. Hmm.) sapphicaquarius Okay, but that last bit with the Fae... makes almost perfect sense Of the stories I've read, the food of the Fae, its origins and effects, are often strange and/or obscure- Just like our food to most animals. The Fae are strange beings that seem to know weird things that give them power or an edge over us.- Just like us to animals. The Fae work and live by strange rules also ofen nonsensical or obscure to us Just like us to animals. The Fae can easily obtain vast amounts of things we consider rare/precious/desireable, and have no problem with dishing it out wantonly for no other reason than amusement.- Just like us to animals. The Fae sometimes are amused by having us around, but only on their terms and IF it amuses/intrigues them.- Just like us to animals. GUYS, I SENSE A PATTERN.... -they have arcane social conventions and the punishment for not paying the correct respects right is banishment, if you're lucky, and death if you're not -they have wild and unexpected parties where you'd least expect to find them, but if you're bold enough to entertain them they'll feed you and caress you and play with you all night time runs strangely in their realm. their homes are summeriands: warm and bright, no matter the season. there is always fruit on their tables. but not everyone who comes in from the cold is let back out again. -their games are cruel and complex and unfair, but if you can beat them by their own rules you will access riches beyond imagining. sometimes they just fucking fuck with you, the fuckheads -they will absolutely steal your children away. when your children return-if they ever do-they will come back strange. they will know things they shouldn't. they won't know things that they should. your strange children might survive, might even prosper, might take wives and husbands and have children of their own but they will always be marked by their time away from your world. the price for pissing them off is always death. sometimes just you. sometimes your whole community if you are very good, and very smart, and very brave, they will grant your wish. oceaxereturns My eyes just got wider and wider the further down I read. Source:prokopetz #story feels #fae 71,904 notes Humans are the urban fae
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Bailey Jay, Funny, and Target: After every flight, FedEx pilots fill out a form, known as a gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S") by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense if humour. P. Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tyre almost replaced. P Test flight OK, auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back order. P. Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground P. Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level P Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P Suspect crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P Number 3 engine missing S: Engine found on right wing after brief search P Aircraft handles funny S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P Target radar hums S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed in cockpit. P. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. s: Took hammer away from midget. CABAGE or DAMAGE

CABAGE or DAMAGE

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Bailey Jay, Club, and Funny: FedEX HumOr Fedx FedEx FedEx After every flight, FEDEX pilots fill out a form, known as a "gripe sheet to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S")by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor: P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tire almost replaced. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back order. P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed P: DME volume unbelievably loud S: DME voulme set more believeable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick S: That's what friction locks are for P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspect crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed in cockpit. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer S: Took hammer away from midget. laughoutloud-club: The Fedex Pilots Gripe Sheet

laughoutloud-club: The Fedex Pilots Gripe Sheet

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Bailey Jay, Funny, and Target: FedEX HumOr Fedx FedEx FedEx After every flight, FEDEX pilots fill out a form, known as a "gripe sheet to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S")by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor: P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tire almost replaced. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back order. P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed P: DME volume unbelievably loud S: DME voulme set more believeable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick S: That's what friction locks are for P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspect crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed in cockpit. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer S: Took hammer away from midget. <p>The Fedex Pilots Gripe Sheet.</p>

The Fedex Pilots Gripe Sheet.

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Bailey Jay, Funny, and Target: After every flight, FedEx pilots fill out a form, known as a "gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S") by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense if humour P Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tyre almost replaced P Test flight OK, auto-land very rough S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back order P Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground P Evidence of leak on right main landing gear S: Evidence removed P DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P IFF inoperative in OFF mode S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. Suspect crack in windshield S: Suspect you're right. P Number 3 engine missing S: Engine found on right wing after brief search P. Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious P Target radar hums S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics P Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed in cockpit P Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget <p>Have a good one</p>

Have a good one

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Bailey Jay, Funny, and Target: FedEx HumOr Fed x fedEx FedEx After every flight, FEDEX pilots fill out a form, known as a "gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S")by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor: P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tire almost replaced. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back order. P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME voulme set more believeable level P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspect crack in windshield S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed in cockpit. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer S: Took hammer away from midget.
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Bailey Jay, Funny, and Target: FedEx HumOr Fed x fedEx FedEx After every flight, FEDEX pilots fill out a form, known as a "gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S")by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor: P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tire almost replaced. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back order. P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME voulme set more believeable level P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspect crack in windshield S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed in cockpit. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer S: Took hammer away from midget.
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