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Advice, Alive, and Ass: English Pronunciation If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90 % of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. FeOffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches,breeches, wise, precise Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surp Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. plait, promise, pal. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye,I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bas. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!! you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz: Excellent English Pronunciation Poem
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Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how car anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of cörrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes,the pestilent slithy regex-infection wil I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Bąsic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his unholy radiance destroying all enlightenment, HTML tags leakjng frqm your eyes/like liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see i it is beautiful the f inal 4421 snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL IS LOST ALL IS LOST the pory he comes he comese comes tge ichor permeates all MY FACE MY F Fish god no NO NOOOO ΝΘ stop the anges . ạre not rea) ZALGo is TOM) THE PONY HEgOMES Unicöde
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Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regēx-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of corrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes, the pestilent-slithy regex-infection wil I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comøs, his unholy radiañcé destroying all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking from your eyeslike liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see ft it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ISLOSTALL IS LOST the pony h comes he com t egichor permeates al My FACE tyEACE b god no NO NOOOO NO stop the an les are not 4422 DA Have you tried using an XML parser instead? How do I replace XHTML tags with RegEx?
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Bored, Life, and Love: updatebug Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship's spending allowance? Like "I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?" "Oh well, if we don't rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth Noted." "I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries." "Ah, yeah, it's not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it" .. that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard." Yeah." "Does such a process not hurt?" That'l be what the medication's for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process." and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?" "Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo'Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?" ..I believe I should speak with my superiors." batzendrick I love how Stabby the Roomba has become such a consistent in-joke among these sorts of blogs tumblunni Galactic hero stabby the roomba: his legend continues brunhiddensmusings you cant tell me that if in fifty years we actually have scpaceship crews and not one of the dorks in space would remember stabby as the best possible joke to bring into space. even if stabby the roomba has been forgotten humans will immediately create some other harmlessly violent robotic equivalent and then be surprised their grandparents joked about the same thing back in 2017 insanity-keeps-things-fun Stabby will outlive us all Source: updatebug 55,580 notes Jun 27th, 2018 I hope life imitates HFY fiction someday

I hope life imitates HFY fiction someday

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Bodies , Paradise, and Tumblr: ZITZIMITL <p><a href="http://nathanandersonart.tumblr.com/post/121323771254/name-tzitzimitl-roughly-pronounced-zee-zee-meel" class="tumblr_blog">nathanandersonart</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b>Name:</b> Tzitzimitl (roughly pronounced Zee Zee Meel)<br/><b>Area of Origin:</b> Central Mexico; The Aztecs<br/><br/>In Aztec Mythology, A Tzitzimitl (plural: Tzitzimimeh) is a female deity associated with the stars. They were usually depicted as skeletal figures, often wearing skirts and decorative headdresses. In the most famous depictions, adorning their bodies are severed hands, and cut-out hearts, and appear to have pointed claws on both their hands and feet. Another odd detail is that they seem to have eyeballs growing out of different joints, such as the ankles, knees, wrists and elbows, though this differs between the different portrayals. They’ve been decribed as demons, though this doesn’t necessarily reflect their function in the Aztec belief system. Because the Tzitzimimeh were female, they were also related to fertility, and as such associated with other female deities such as Tlaltecuhtli and Coatlicue. They were worshipped by midwives and women in labor. Their leader was the goddess, Itzpapalotl who ruled over Tamoanchan, the paradise where these deities resided. Being associated with the stars, when stars would not be seen in the sky during solar eclipses, this was intepreted as Tzitzimimeh attacking the sun. This caused a belief that during an eclipse, they would descend down to earth to devour humans. They were seen as both protectors of the feminine and progenitors of mankind, and as such, were powerful and dangerous, especially in periods of cosmic instability.<br/></p></blockquote>

nathanandersonart:Name: Tzitzimitl (roughly pronounced Zee Zee Meel)Area of Origin: Central Mexico; The AztecsIn Aztec Mythology, A Tzitzimi...

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Goals, Memes, and Success: MILLIONAIRE MENTOR ISET GOALS AND DEVOUR THEM The week is almost over! How are your goals coming along?comment below the goals you have achieved this week!👇 goals success millionairementor

The week is almost over! How are your goals coming along?comment below the goals you have achieved this week!👇 goals success millionairement...

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Memes, Work, and Animal: Just look at her eyes after the boop Her eyes after I tell her I wanna devour the Nani from behind AFTER she work out because I'm an animal 🤗 LemmeTasteThatMarinade BlessUp 👅😂😂😂

Her eyes after I tell her I wanna devour the Nani from behind AFTER she work out because I'm an animal 🤗 LemmeTasteThatMarinade BlessUp 👅😂😂😂

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Ass, Bitch, and Children: When you forget to order your izza boneless Your family should have grinded you into fine powder for ramen packets shitcunt you slanty eyed sushi chomping shit drive, sorry could you repeat that sentence? oh wait i dont speak poverty or third worlder. I hope you outlive your children you idiotic dunce. Your entire being is one big waste of atoms. You probably came out of your mothers ass because her cunt was too busy. If you were twice as smart you'd still be fucking incompetent. I'm amazed you got out of bed this morning you fucking vegetable. I hope the person closest to you dies you turtleneck looking bitch. They say you are what you eat but when the did you devour the entire special ed class? And you're so fucking fat I'm surprised you haven't collapsed into a singularity by now. Do you really think you could talk shit to me and get away with? How many times does your Uncle have to molest you to realize you're a pathetic piece of shit? You're about as useful as a sundial in a black hole. I hope hot water comes out of every water fountain you use. I think that pencil next to you has a slightly higher IQ than you. Your father would probably be disappointed in you, if he actually stayed in your life. You're proof that constant masturbation doesn't burn calories you hentai watching fuck tard. No wonder your Mom killed herself you worthless sack of shit. Are you crying now? Or is that the saturated fat running down your face from sweating? Next time don't comment stupid shit on the internet, dumbass.
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