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awesomesthesia: SoundSurge 46 Hybrid Active Noise Cancelling Headphones Upgraded active noise cancelling (ANC) technology improved hybrid active noise cancellation significantly reduces low-frequency sound by up to 96% Enjoy the music no matter if you’re on a bus train or plane Customizable comfort super soft protein cushions adjustable headband 90° rotation axis for comfy all day wear safe storage & transportation with the carry case Pure audio power & hassle-free clear calls dual large-aperture 40 mm drivers deliver deep and powerful bass for an all-round impressive HD sound quality built in CVC 6 0 noise cancelling microphone for clear hands-free calls 30% OFF - Promo Code: TB30 : awesomesthesia: SoundSurge 46 Hybrid Active Noise Cancelling Headphones Upgraded active noise cancelling (ANC) technology improved hybrid active noise cancellation significantly reduces low-frequency sound by up to 96% Enjoy the music no matter if you’re on a bus train or plane Customizable comfort super soft protein cushions adjustable headband 90° rotation axis for comfy all day wear safe storage & transportation with the carry case Pure audio power & hassle-free clear calls dual large-aperture 40 mm drivers deliver deep and powerful bass for an all-round impressive HD sound quality built in CVC 6 0 noise cancelling microphone for clear hands-free calls 30% OFF - Promo Code: TB30

awesomesthesia: SoundSurge 46 Hybrid Active Noise Cancelling Headphones Upgraded active noise cancelling (ANC) technology improved hybrid...

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awesomesthesia: SoundSurge 46 Hybrid Active Noise Cancelling Headphones Upgraded active noise cancelling (ANC) technology improved hybrid active noise cancellation significantly reduces low-frequency sound by up to 96% Enjoy the music no matter if you’re on a bus train or plane Customizable comfort super soft protein cushions adjustable headband 90° rotation axis for comfy all day wear safe storage & transportation with the carry case Pure audio power & hassle-free clear calls dual large-aperture 40 mm drivers deliver deep and powerful bass for an all-round impressive HD sound quality built in CVC 6 0 noise cancelling microphone for clear hands-free calls 30% OFF - Promo Code: TB30 : awesomesthesia: SoundSurge 46 Hybrid Active Noise Cancelling Headphones Upgraded active noise cancelling (ANC) technology improved hybrid active noise cancellation significantly reduces low-frequency sound by up to 96% Enjoy the music no matter if you’re on a bus train or plane Customizable comfort super soft protein cushions adjustable headband 90° rotation axis for comfy all day wear safe storage & transportation with the carry case Pure audio power & hassle-free clear calls dual large-aperture 40 mm drivers deliver deep and powerful bass for an all-round impressive HD sound quality built in CVC 6 0 noise cancelling microphone for clear hands-free calls 30% OFF - Promo Code: TB30

awesomesthesia: SoundSurge 46 Hybrid Active Noise Cancelling Headphones Upgraded active noise cancelling (ANC) technology improved hybrid...

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awesomesthesia: SoundSurge 46 Hybrid Active Noise Cancelling Headphones Upgraded active noise cancelling (ANC) technology improved hybrid active noise cancellation significantly reduces low-frequency sound by up to 96% Enjoy the music no matter if you’re on a bus train or plane Customizable comfort super soft protein cushions adjustable headband 90° rotation axis for comfy all day wear safe storage & transportation with the carry case Pure audio power & hassle-free clear calls dual large-aperture 40 mm drivers deliver deep and powerful bass for an all-round impressive HD sound quality built in CVC 6 0 noise cancelling microphone for clear hands-free calls 30% OFF - Promo Code: TB30 : awesomesthesia: SoundSurge 46 Hybrid Active Noise Cancelling Headphones Upgraded active noise cancelling (ANC) technology improved hybrid active noise cancellation significantly reduces low-frequency sound by up to 96% Enjoy the music no matter if you’re on a bus train or plane Customizable comfort super soft protein cushions adjustable headband 90° rotation axis for comfy all day wear safe storage & transportation with the carry case Pure audio power & hassle-free clear calls dual large-aperture 40 mm drivers deliver deep and powerful bass for an all-round impressive HD sound quality built in CVC 6 0 noise cancelling microphone for clear hands-free calls 30% OFF - Promo Code: TB30

awesomesthesia: SoundSurge 46 Hybrid Active Noise Cancelling Headphones Upgraded active noise cancelling (ANC) technology improved hybrid...

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callmeblake: mcrmyhollywoodscans: JUNE 2004 - SKRATCH Photo Credit: Derrick Santini : My Chemical Romace ..usually burn... My Chemical Romance are goniuses. I will say it go) on any givan "roality TV show, which again: geniuses! They wrote this catchy song about one would it be and why? not being okay. Can you imagine anything striking a FRANK: GROWING UP GOTTI, cause I'm a quar- deeper chord with the key high-school-aged record- ter Polish and three-quarters mobster. buying demographic? I swear, they must be managed by Steve Forbes or something. I'm not dissin'-I'm SKRATCH: Does anyone in the band have just jealous! Do you realize how many underage an obnoxious girlfriend? What makes her girls these guys must have swarming around their so lame? tour bus?! It boggles the mind. Anyway, I had a really FRANK: What, are you kidding me? You're gonna great e-mail exchange with guitarist Frank Lero. He's get me into trouble with this one. Fine: Mikey's girl- got a great sense of humor and he believes in evolu- friend. Ha ha, l'm callin' you out, Jeanna bait! Yeah, tion-so, as far as l'm concerned, he deserves to live that's right-I went there. a happy, normal life. Judge for yourself, though. SKRATCH: If you had to wear either high SKRATCH: Late at night when you think heels or a bra on a regular basis, which of the Warped Tour, what do you think of? would you pick, and why? FRANK: The lack of showering, rad Porta-Potties, FRANK: Dang. Neither, really. I have bad ankles, and friendship. so the heels are not even a question; and bras just seem like a hassle, SKRATCH: You guys are kinda pale. Are you worried about sunburn on the SKRATCH: Do you believe in evolution? Warped Tour? What will you do to prevent FRANK: Yes, because it happened. Next it? Or are you looking for a little color? FRANK: Um, I don't know It's really not something SKRATCH: If you killed someone, where I'm too concerned about...butI do usually burn, would you hide the body? Do you think especially on my face, and that's never any fun...so you'd get away with it? maybe I should come up with some sort of a plan. FRANK: I would hide the body in a voting booth. Apparently, intelligent people haven't stepped foot in those things for years. SKRATCH:I love the way your music video looks like a film trailer. If they were to ac- tually make the film being "advertised," what would the plot be? What character And that way, if Ashcroft is running for any sort of office, the body can do a little last-minute campaign FRANK: There would be absolutely no plot whatso- ing! Ha ha ha. Oh, man, I'm fucking funny. Is that too ever. It would be lots of close-ups of Gerard, some heady a reference for a Warped Tour guide? Well, more of Mikey, a car would blow up, and it would be take your mind off it by checking out My Chemical Romance all summer long on this year's Warped Tour! And throw my man Frank some sunscreen when you see him. I worry about hirm, you know? would each member of the band play? over. I would audition for the part of Godzilla. SKRATCH: Man, didn't high school suck? FRANK: [Tou hit the] nail on the head, sister. SKRATCH: If you could go (or had to www.skratchmagazine.com By Jeff Penalty /Photo by Derrick Santini playing 6/18-8/1S www.theimmortalityproject.com callmeblake: mcrmyhollywoodscans: JUNE 2004 - SKRATCH Photo Credit: Derrick Santini
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cherylhelios: Hi everyone, after months of bootstrapping and development, we have just launched our new app, WIZT, a home inventory app that allows one to record, search, and locate their items fast without the hassle. Users can customize their floor plan to the layout of their house, add a digital AR sticker to know the exact location of the item, and share the information with friends, family and roommates (with subscription plan). Create unlimited tags for your labels to know what is in the storage location recorded. WIZT is free for use for the first three labels so have a go at it!Beta Test Links:Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.wiztApple Testflight: https://apple.co/2GTb8ubMore information on our main page: https://helios-eos.comThank you for trying out WIZT and hope you will enjoy it : WIZT WHEREISIT? cherylhelios: Hi everyone, after months of bootstrapping and development, we have just launched our new app, WIZT, a home inventory app that allows one to record, search, and locate their items fast without the hassle. Users can customize their floor plan to the layout of their house, add a digital AR sticker to know the exact location of the item, and share the information with friends, family and roommates (with subscription plan). Create unlimited tags for your labels to know what is in the storage location recorded. WIZT is free for use for the first three labels so have a go at it!Beta Test Links:Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.wiztApple Testflight: https://apple.co/2GTb8ubMore information on our main page: https://helios-eos.comThank you for trying out WIZT and hope you will enjoy it
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cherylhelios: Hi everyone, after months of bootstrapping and development, we have just launched our new app, WIZT, a home inventory app that allows one to record, search, and locate their items fast without the hassle. Users can customize their floor plan to the layout of their house, add a digital AR sticker to know the exact location of the item, and share the information with friends, family and roommates (with subscription plan). Create unlimited tags for your labels to know what is in the storage location recorded. WIZT is free for use for the first three labels so have a go at it!Beta Test Links:Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.wiztApple Testflight: https://apple.co/2GTb8ubMore information on our main page: https://helios-eos.comThank you for trying out WIZT and hope you will enjoy it : WIZT WHEREISIT? cherylhelios: Hi everyone, after months of bootstrapping and development, we have just launched our new app, WIZT, a home inventory app that allows one to record, search, and locate their items fast without the hassle. Users can customize their floor plan to the layout of their house, add a digital AR sticker to know the exact location of the item, and share the information with friends, family and roommates (with subscription plan). Create unlimited tags for your labels to know what is in the storage location recorded. WIZT is free for use for the first three labels so have a go at it!Beta Test Links:Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.wiztApple Testflight: https://apple.co/2GTb8ubMore information on our main page: https://helios-eos.comThank you for trying out WIZT and hope you will enjoy it
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cherylhelios: Hi everyone, after months of bootstrapping and development, we have just launched our new app, WIZT, a home inventory app that allows one to record, search, and locate their items fast without the hassle. Users can customize their floor plan to the layout of their house, add a digital AR sticker to know the exact location of the item, and share the information with friends, family and roommates (with subscription plan). Create unlimited tags for your labels to know what is in the storage location recorded. WIZT is free for use for the first three labels so have a go at it!Beta Test Links:Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.wiztApple Testflight: https://apple.co/2GTb8ubMore information on our main page: https://helios-eos.comThank you for trying out WIZT and hope you will enjoy it : WIZT WHEREISIT? cherylhelios: Hi everyone, after months of bootstrapping and development, we have just launched our new app, WIZT, a home inventory app that allows one to record, search, and locate their items fast without the hassle. Users can customize their floor plan to the layout of their house, add a digital AR sticker to know the exact location of the item, and share the information with friends, family and roommates (with subscription plan). Create unlimited tags for your labels to know what is in the storage location recorded. WIZT is free for use for the first three labels so have a go at it!Beta Test Links:Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.wiztApple Testflight: https://apple.co/2GTb8ubMore information on our main page: https://helios-eos.comThank you for trying out WIZT and hope you will enjoy it
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College Vampires: PIRITS bookhobbit why is "olde vampires in high school" the big thing and not "olde vampires in college" everyone in college is eccentric. everyone you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn't slept in three days supports you everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you're polite and follow class etiquette multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail! wandering around campus at 3am? that's just the lifestyle tm * no matter how old or young you look it's not really that weird, there's sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere big schools are very anonymous so nobody's gonna bother to hassle you * anorthernskyatdawn the girl in pyjamas is the vampire themauvesoul Also: If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it's juice and be Jealous "Oh god I'm a monster" 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say "same simultaniousely and with the exact same tone Everything is a joke so if u say "I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind" someone will go "lol what a mood* It would take u like 100 years to major in everything Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascoft Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they'll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature * e * iterally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that alway:s has qum and a stapler If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major Allergic to crosses? Cool. So r certain stem majors. e * College Vampires
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Important info for our SOLD OUT show this Saturday at Glen Helen Amphitheater (No tickets will be available at the box office!): . . ARRIVE EARLY - Parking lots will open at 9am & we’re expecting a full house (45,000 fans). . . FREE PARK & RIDE - Starting at 9am, the Fontana Auto Club Speedway will offer a free Park & Ride shuttle to the venue. At the Speedway, you can also enter for a chance to win a signed SOAD guitar (winner notified Monday, October 15). The first 500 fans to arrive will each receive a $10 Food & Non-Alcoholic Beverage voucher to use at the show. Swipe up in our story to RSVP for your Park & Ride passes + view the Official Guitar Giveaway rules. . . CARPOOL-RIDESHARE - This will lighten traffic & save you time locating friends. In addition, the first 500 fans to arrive will each receive a $10 Food & Non-Alcoholic Beverage voucher to use at the show. Head over to our Carpool SOAD Giveaway booth in the general parking lot to retrieve your voucher. . REGIONAL SHUTTLE - For those who don’t live near the venue, we’ve partnered with FestDrive to provide direct coach options from all over Southern California, all fully air-conditioned with restrooms. Relax & enjoy a hassle-free ride to & from the venue. Swipe up in our story to get your FestDrive Shuttle pass. . . STAY & CHILL OUT AFTER THE SHOW - We’ll have free coffee (from Serj Tankian’s own @kavatcoffee - www.kavatcoffee.com), donuts,and we'll be screening This Is Spinal Tap on a 50' movie screen down by the lake if you want to hang out while the parking lots clear. . Full info on allowable items at entry, venue rules & more can be found by searching Glen Helen Amphitheater on the Live Nation site!: SYSTEM OFA DOWN ncubus WITH AI THE DRIVE IN CLUTCH PALLBEARER SKELETONWITCH BUY TICA ETMAS OFFICE Important info for our SOLD OUT show this Saturday at Glen Helen Amphitheater (No tickets will be available at the box office!): . . ARRIVE EARLY - Parking lots will open at 9am & we’re expecting a full house (45,000 fans). . . FREE PARK & RIDE - Starting at 9am, the Fontana Auto Club Speedway will offer a free Park & Ride shuttle to the venue. At the Speedway, you can also enter for a chance to win a signed SOAD guitar (winner notified Monday, October 15). The first 500 fans to arrive will each receive a $10 Food & Non-Alcoholic Beverage voucher to use at the show. Swipe up in our story to RSVP for your Park & Ride passes + view the Official Guitar Giveaway rules. . . CARPOOL-RIDESHARE - This will lighten traffic & save you time locating friends. In addition, the first 500 fans to arrive will each receive a $10 Food & Non-Alcoholic Beverage voucher to use at the show. Head over to our Carpool SOAD Giveaway booth in the general parking lot to retrieve your voucher. . REGIONAL SHUTTLE - For those who don’t live near the venue, we’ve partnered with FestDrive to provide direct coach options from all over Southern California, all fully air-conditioned with restrooms. Relax & enjoy a hassle-free ride to & from the venue. Swipe up in our story to get your FestDrive Shuttle pass. . . STAY & CHILL OUT AFTER THE SHOW - We’ll have free coffee (from Serj Tankian’s own @kavatcoffee - www.kavatcoffee.com), donuts,and we'll be screening This Is Spinal Tap on a 50' movie screen down by the lake if you want to hang out while the parking lots clear. . Full info on allowable items at entry, venue rules & more can be found by searching Glen Helen Amphitheater on the Live Nation site!

Important info for our SOLD OUT show this Saturday at Glen Helen Amphitheater (No tickets will be available at the box office!): . . ARRI...

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catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car : . Verizon LTE 12:09 PM a houston.craigslist.org image 1 of 23 TEXAS BNL-2934 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla Let's talk about features Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the- road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Whit Bayou BWa catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car
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hassle: . Verizon LTE 12:09 PM a houston.craigslist.org image 1 of 23 TEXAS BNL-2934 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla Let's talk about features Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the- road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Whit Bayou BWa
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This Craigslist car ad doesn't care about what you want. It knows what you need.: x 0 42%. 12:29 Toyota Avalon-cars & truc. https://louisville.craigslist.org Toyota Avalon - $1800 (Louisville, KY) image 1 of 6 "You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no ther willever compliment you on? further The 1999 Toyota Avalon. Let's talk about features. Bluetooth: nope 101. 42%. 12:30 Aux cord: nope Fancv wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day it started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the watera thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right ujp This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey. 10. 42%. 12:30 Toyota Avalon - cars & truc... https://louisville.craigslist.org color is grey. In the owner's manual, oll is listed as"optional. When this car was unveiled at the Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentarv "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Avalon" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survev Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle- of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert, It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills. When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Toyota. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Tovota Avalon." This Craigslist car ad doesn't care about what you want. It knows what you need.
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hassle: . Verizon LTE 12:09 PM a houston.craigslist.org image 1 of 23 TEXAS BNL-2934 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla Let's talk about features Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the- road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Whit Bayou BWa
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catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car : . Verizon LTE 12:09 PM a houston.craigslist.org image 1 of 23 TEXAS BNL-2934 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla Let's talk about features Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the- road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Whit Bayou BWa catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car
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