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Advice, Af, and Bad: hm...buns @coolthottie college really be on some other shit "..and it has to be a minimum of 20 pages." You'll be writing a paper this semester" ft @coolthottie/jadasy ruby-white-rabbit: freddieandersen: inkskinned: HOW TO WRITE 20 PAGES (from one girl w/mental illness 2 the rest of u, but please keep in mind all of this is just personal Stuff That Worked for me n u might be different): first of all, and probably most importantly, make that paper about something you actually give a shit about. if you can write an essay on how long shakespeare’s dick is when you’re talking to your friends, that’s a good topic. don’t choose something u don’t care about, you will Want To Die “okay but the only topics are ones i don’t care about” talk 2 ur teacher 99% of the time if you’re like “here’s a well-thought-out thesis can i talk about this instead” they’re like “sure lmao i just couldn’t think of other paper topics to suggest” “they said no” cool find the one u hate the least and try to tie it into something u like. for example i really hated this stupid paper i had to write about a stupid book so i ended up writing about the food inside the book and whether or not it was a historically accurate depiction of food. turns out i fucking love talking about food. i also remade some of the old recipes and brought them in as part of the presentation of my project and people went fuckken nuts bc BREAD. basically i thought about “what motivates me? uh food” and followed that. it was a 45-page book about bread and i looked like a really good student when really i just love bread (somewhere, oprah smiles over me) the 20-pagers are the ones you Actually Cannot Do the night before. i know we all got real fuckken cocky back in hs when we learned how to do 5 pages in one night w/out trying too hard but 1. as a teacher now i can tell u for sure that teachers do know you rushed it, we just Don’t Care bc We’re Not Paid Enough and 2. twenty pages is not the same thing. you need to actually take the time to do it. this is the actual version of “you’re not in hs anymore” DONT lie to yourself and think “it’s fine i’ll do it in one day” you will !! Regret it!!!!  “raquel. raquel. listen to me. do you actually believe i’m capable of time management. raquel i have depression i barely manage to exist.” same. but the truth is that when i started like?? actually following the rules of timelines and taking my time etc it actually really helps mental illness. you don’t feel pressured all the time by a deadline, so your anxiety chills a little bit. small progress being acceptable means that on depression days, you don’t have to worry you’re fucking it all up. when it’s 15 minutes every day (even if it’s only 1 word a day) it feels a lot better. ask the teacher what timeline they’d recommend. they actually Know. always ask if it’s informal or formal (if you can use “I” statements or not). informal essays can rely on personal feelings and are so much easier and trust me if you find out on the day it’s due that you could have written 12 pages about your feelings instead of 12 pages of research, you will Be Very Upset i lie to myself all the time and move the deadline up. i write it in my agenda as at least 2 days before it’s due. surprise!!! i tricked u, self!!! you can’t procrastinate!!  agendas/planners need to be what actually works for you. i liked to prioritize w/colors + keep lists. i really love crossing things off lists. it’s like… a balm. for me, i usually say i have to finish the first 2 things, start the 3rd thing, and “touch” at least half the list. if i finish the whole list i get a prize. also i get to cross off everything which is so satisfying i’m sure it’s someone’s idea of a rush. there’s so many “how to” documents on these that i won’t get into it but frankly?? if you don’t write it down you will not remember it. “yes i will” no you won’t greg. just do it. write it down. write it where u can see it. not there, greg. greg, somewhere good. my friend is smart af and uses a post-it on her laptop. that doesn’t work for me bc i can just? use my hand to cover the anxiety? so choose somewhere good greg. nervous system, skeleton, meat, skin. nervous system is the thesis. skeleton is quotes/data. meat is the analysis of that data. skin is the fancy transitions + beautification.  meat goes on both sides of bone, and skin goes all around. nervous system has to touch everything. do what your teachers have been begging u to do since 3rd grade and start w/an outline. do this while you read/research. i usually have a starter thesis like “lady macbeth is a feminist ICON” then take the quotes i think fit. but if while you’re reading u realize u wanna talk about the use of feminine language and how shakespeare parallels daintiness w/sharpness, u still have a bunch of quotes you can use or not use. this works also w/research papers. just pull what u think is something u wanna talk about. copy-paste it but leave a link to where u got it. then put a bullet point under that says roughly why u mention it if you just write the outline like you’re keeping notes to yourself you’d be amazed how quickly you write the essay bc we get stuck in academic language but it’s easier to translate “this is why bees are the #bomb” into a paragraph. i mean you just rewrite your notes to yourself in academic speech. “The above passage illustrates the growing necessity of pollinators such as bees in an agricultural environment.” keep track of your sources + label them. don’t just write “(SOURCE)” instead if you’re using multiple sources use the lazygirl way which is (SA1) or whatever shorthand u have for each source. then when you need to finish your sources you go to your little source document, find the one labelled SA1 and then “Find+replace” w/the actual source. integrate quotes so it reads w/clarity which means don’t do this but if you’re running late on it and don’t have time to look up the quote u want to fit this situation, technically you can “use any” word you want (56). so yeah “there is” a moral question about it but you “can” make up quotes (79, 90). don’t “actually” do this unless you’re seriously in a crunch. which u shouldn’t be, bc u managed ur time, right? running late part 2 (which again would never happen bc you followed my advice and made a little time table for yourself but anyway if it does somehow magically happen) i really recommend using school computers to do your work. ur surrounded by people who will hold u accountable + u will focus running late pt3 on the day of it being due, around 5 PM, be honest w/yourself and see where you are. if you’re like “it needs 2 more hours” okay. but if you’re like “this is……… not started” email the teacher. they’ll be so much more receptive the earlier you do this in the process. it looks like “i’m genuinely struggling and i hope to finish this on time but i’m worried i won’t” instead of “i started this at 11:58PM and am asking for an extension”. please also just… be honest?  “my teacher won’t accept late work!” they all say that, he probably will, particularly if you have a note from the school therapist being like “lmao she’s got so many mental illnesses idek how to help her” “no he really doesn’t, he doesn’t care” you can file for disability if you have mental illness, and, in fact, you should if it’s something that often stops you from completing work on time. i didn’t bc i found that it just let me procrastinate for a longer time, but having that on file means you can go to the dean. “no!!! raquel you’re not listening i have 2 pages and he doesn’t take late work!!!!!!!!!”  okay. yeah that’s bad. but nerves, skeleton, meat, skin. what is it that you’re struggling with? is it that your can’t find any quotes to back up your thesis? impossible, tbh, you need to be more willing to purposefully misuse quotes (don’t do that). but the better option is to just change the thesis.  “i don’t even have that!!” did you. do the reading? if you even just watched the movie, you probably have an opinion on something even if it’s “this is bad.” you can use that. use why you didn’t like it to write a hate-fueled examination on how whiny the main character is and why u think the author is trying to point out how miserable cis white boys are to deal with.  “i don’t have enough sources!!!” go to wikipedia’s page about it and look @ the sources. try to like actually read some if you have time but frankly in a hurry a student (me) might be compelled to just slap the source in there.  “how the fuck do i analyze this”. u know how ppl agonize over why an actor breathed in a scene. melt into that kind of thinking. you can literally force the words to mean whatever you want. i’ve talked about word choice so specific that i based a 12-page essay on three separate uses of the words “my dear”. i talked about the possessive “my” and how it developed for like 5 of those pages. and always repeat the thesis like a million times. after every analysis you should talk about how it links to the thesis. that is like a free 3 sentences every paragraph. “i did all that and it’s still 3 pages too short” quick ways to Beef Him Up: definitions are great in research papers + essays bc you can talk about either word choice or like the definition of every process used in getting the data. also make the conclusion hella informative (it should answer “what does this mean moving forwards” most of the time, tie it into modern life or into the past). thicken ur intro with “here’s a quote from this guy about it and what he personally felt about acid-base titrations”, use a paragraph to talk about the history of the data/book, use a paragraph to talk about the modern reception of the data/book. also look for where you can use two words instead of one even tho like grammatically don’t do that. worst comes to worst, brevity is the soul of wit. most teachers prefer concise over rambling and all over the place. if you choose to scoot under the page limit, tho, your writing etc needs to be exceptionally clean. frankly i’ve only done this once and it was terrifying make computer read it aloud 2 u before u submit. “raquel….. i can’t look at it anymore”. you’re not looking @ it, you’re discovering you wrote “breath” not “breathe” and u need to change it tutoring centers exist, i worked in one, and this is how i know they actually Help and have Good Ideas ask about extra credit and do it tbh good luck…. breathe. and remember u are astronomically more important than a grade could ever be. do you have trouble writing words on paper but you know what you want to say? because that’s my personal form of useless perfectionism. like, you can tell your friend all about what you’re planning on writing, and talk about it for like 20 minutes straight? make notes for imaginary slides for an imaginary presentation on the topic oops you have an outline now! your imaginary slides? paragraphs (or if ur paper is long af, each imaginary bullet point is a paragraph and each imaginary slide is a couple pages) credit for this tip goes to my therapist. thanks amy. u solved paper writing for me and at least seven of my friends Partial credit is better than no credit at all. Only have 5 pages the day it’s due? TURN IT IN. It’s better than a zero if the teacher won’t work with you on an extension or late work
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Bad, College, and Driving: GOING To A PARTY WORST-CASE MGH, WHO INVITED BEST-CASE THAT SHIRTTHAI WAS A GOOD IDEA? WHAT'S MOST LIKELy TO HAPPEN I THINK IMIGHT HEAD HOME SOON NEAH ME TOO. College DRIVING WORST-CASE WHAT HAVE You DONE? BEST-CASE FREEDOMI WHAT'S MOST LIKELy TO HAPPEN UGH, I-65 TRAFFIC ALWAyS SUcKS AT THIS TIME AND uPAGAIN, THAT POP SONG YOU'RE INDIFFERENT TO! Colle GOING ON A FIRST DATE WORST-CASE BEST-CASE Well, hello there, Sabella Martinez who lives at 3b5 Sunse+ Avenve BEFORE TONIGHT THOUGHT THE DEA OF A SOULMATE WAS A MYTH WHAT'S MOST LIKELy TO HAPPEN OH, yOU HAVE TWO SISTERS? EAH, THEY'RE FINE oleaelHumon GIVING A SPEECH WORST-CASE BEST-CASE TECHNICAL ERROR: ERY THING IS BAD WORLD PROBLEMS OLVED. NOU'RE A FRAUD HERE'S A B00k DEAL 00! MANE My BABIES Ol WHAT'S MOST LIKELy TO HAPPEN IN CONCLUSION WE SHOULD CHANGE SOME THINGS, BUT NoT EVERYTHING. THAT SOUNDS REASONABLE. TIME paperparachute: castorochiaro: pr1nceshawn: Worst Case vs. Best Case Scenarios by Karina Farek. This is a great joke, but it’s also a wonderful strategy for reducing anxiety that I learned about in therapy. If you’re ever nervous about something, just ask yourself: what’s the best thing that can happen? What’s the worst thing? What will most likely happen? It does wonders for your nerves, really does. My counsellor walks me through this all the time and it works??

paperparachute: castorochiaro: pr1nceshawn: Worst Case vs. Best Case Scenarios by Karina Farek. This is a great joke, but it’s also a ...

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Ass, Children, and Jesus: somecunttookmyurl Listen my dudes Ancient Egypt existed for a really fuckass long time. Literally just Pharaonioc civilization lasted 3,000 years. That's not even including predynastic civilization and Roman rule. If you lump that in you're looking at more like... 5,000 years. Like. If you want a comparison of how long that is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2018. TWO THOUSAND. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE 'BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST We comparatively just entered the Third Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take over for another 700~ years. Cleopatra will not be born until the year 2931. It's a really long time guys. somecunttookmyurl Anyway look. Listen. I sat my ass down and of "when shit happened if you started at 1AD" because I know backwards numbers are hard to process but here's an abridged version. If the first Egyptian Pharaoh came to power in 1AD then... 300: step pyramid built 450: Great Pyramid at Giza built 815: Pepi ll dies and civil war breaks out 950: Egypt re-unified 1350: Middle Kingdom ends 1450: New Kingdom begins 1520: Hatshepsut is on the throne 1650: Ahkenaten switches to monotheistic religion and builds a new city 1680: Tutankhamun dies 1720: Ramesses Il 'the great' ascends to the throne 1740: World's first peace treaty signed 1790: Ramesses Il dies leaving way too many children 1920: Egypt breaks into 2 states again And now we get to the futureIf we started at 1AD all of this stuff hasn't happened yet 2050: Briefly re-united as a single state 2180: Civil war 2250: Nubian kings take over 2335: Assyrian conquest 2665: Alexander the Great conquers Egypt 2930: Cleopatra VII born 2970: Cleopatra VII dies. Egypt falls to Rome. Fin. And that's just starting with the Pharaohs. If you wanted to start with Predynastic Egypt you can go ahead and ADD ONE THOUSAND YEARS to all of those dates somecunttookmyurl I hate that this is still getting notes but that it's getting notes *without the timeline addition* like c'mon, man. I had to do MATHS for this. I DID MATHS FOR YOU PEOPLE AND ALL I GOT WAS A BUNCH OF RACISTS i dont know how to feel about this. it makes my brain hurt. thats concerning because ur brain doesnt have nerves like that and cant actually feel anything like ur hand does.
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Fashion, Food, and Fucking: rockatransky: on occasion, i browse the clearance racks at overpriced hipster-y boutiques cause from time to time you can find amazing deals, but being in Rich People Places always makes me a little nervous- and today when i was picking up a layaway from one of these shops, my nerves resulted in a story the shopkeepers are probably gonna be telling for quite a while. i'd just come from the feed store for lizard food (ie: bugs), and it was like 95F out so they were slowly being smothered to death in my backpack. so when the clerk, who i'd overheard was only on her second day working there, gave me my fancy sundress in a bag way too big for it, i pulled out two dozen crickets in a plastic bag and a tub full of mealworms from my pack and set them gently on the bag so they could breathe better till i got home. this girl's eyes go wide and she looks imploringly back at the equally startled-looking manager helping her through the transaction, and i realize that this might look a little weird to folks who aren't reptile keepers. so, instead of doing the logical thing and explaining that i'm feeding leopard geckos, i sorta chuckled and shrugged apologetically, and just said "dinner, y'know?" for the briefest of moments, there was an awkward silence so sweaty and suffocating you could drown in it, and then, in true daytime comedy fashion, the fucking crickets started chirping so i guess i'm never going back there ever again. Welp, time to go hide under a rock with the lizards
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Head, Target, and Tumblr: Cleveland Clinic ICE VS. HEAT WHAT'S BETTER FOR YOUR PAIN? Ice and heat are easy, natural, affordable ways to relieve pain. Ever wonder which one is better for your particular problem? Here is what our experts recommend PROBLEM SOLUTION Worn-away cartlage inARTHRITIS joints (knee, shoulder, elbow, fingers, etc.) Moist heat eases chronically stiff joints, relaxes tight muscles Chronic, inflammatory arthritis (big toe, instep, ankle, heel, knee, wrist, FLARE-UPSbs pain Ice calms flare-ups, GOUT finger, elbow, etc.) Pain from nerves or blood vessels in the head or from muscles in the neck HEADACHEIce numbs throbbing head pain Moist heat relaxes painful neck spasm Pulled muscles or injured tendons in the thigh, back, calf, etc. STRAINSIce eases inflammation (redness,sweling and or tenderness), numbs pain Heat eases stiffness after inflammation resolves Stretching or tearing of ligaments in joints like the knee, ankle, foot, elbow, etc. SPRAINS Ice eases inflammation numbs pain Heat relieves stiffness after inflammation resolves Acute irrtation afterTENDINITISce eases inflammation activity in tendons attached to joints like the shoulder, elbow, knee, wrist, heel, etc. numbs pain ronic iitation and TENDINOSIS stiffness in tendons Heat relieves stiffness after inflammation resolves attached to joints WHY ICE FOR INJURIES WHY HEAT FOR ARTHRITIS & INJURIES6 WEEKS OLD? 6 WEEKS OLD? Ice constricts blood vessels which numbs pain, relieves inflammation and limits bruising Heat increases blood flow which relaxes tight muscles and relieves aching joints. CAUTION Do not use heat for acute injuries. It increases inflammation and can delay healing. Sources: niams.nih.gov/Health-Info/Bursitis/#6 headaches.org/education/Headache_Topic_Sheets/Hot_and_Cold_Packs/Showers 2014 Cleveland Clinic Learn more at: clevelandclinic.org/HealthHub singingstranger: cranquis: mydrunkkitchen: americaninfographic: Ice or Heat? THIS IS SO INFORMATIVE! I get asked this question at least twice a week. So here ya go. This is really great, especially for a klutz like me!

singingstranger: cranquis: mydrunkkitchen: americaninfographic: Ice or Heat? THIS IS SO INFORMATIVE! I get asked this question at least t...

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