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Be Like, Club, and Fake: a tale of trees and espionage okay story time: my professor (lovely man, married to our TA, 52", about as So studies trees. it was about three hours into our social sciences course, last lecture before exams, everyone was frazzled and exhausted, so he told us about his most exciting/in-depth research to date to cheer us up. (the few of us who actually showed up were like ok sir im sure its fascinating but in our minds we were totally like its trees what. is. exciting. about trees. You might be wondering the same thing-the acorns? the leaves? the roots? BUT NO. IMMA FUCKIN TELL YA.) ANYWAY we settle in, he had a few pictures loaded up from his field work (we were chuckling at this point.... 'hehehe field work' i giggled to my frend. its trees.) and began to tell his tale. it's long, imma warn you, but.... god. just read it theres an species of tree called the cucumber tree(Magnolia in our region there's only-280 that are registered by the government, yadda yadda yadda, my prof thought that was tragic (i know) but also strange, because when he was writing his thesis about local trees years ago, he kept coming across cucumber trees in really random places. we're talking like etc. IMPOSSIBLE because, according to tree very strictly protected by the govenment, and thus super legai to possess, transport, collect, buy or sell any part of a living or dead member of a listed species if it originates from sources. essentially, the govt takes control over g the trees and anyone who independently raises them is breaking the law (i kno) so he'd ask people "do you have a permit for these trees?" and they were like "uh no, it's just a tree someone sold me,i think it looks nice, are you gonna arrest me?" so he'd be like nah nah nah just tell me who sold it to you" eventually, months/years later, someone did, and turns out it was like this underground sort-of illegal tree dealing club (i know). so my prof went, got a bit of funding from the government, who were getting pissed at independent cucumber tree numbers, and THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTO THE GOOD SHIT I STS he infitrates the tree trafficking organization. he buys a cucumber tree from an independent nursery, raises it for months, ensures he gets noticed by the traffickers, and then INFILTRATES it and convinces its leader to LET HIM JOIN he has to pay like a steep entrance fee, which he does (and it blows my mind that the government of my country paid money to illegal tree dealers), but then he is given full access to records and maps because they think he's one of them, not now this part blows my mind because the tree lords don't even have to try very hard to find cucumber trees because government agents MARK THE TREES AND DISTINCTLY TAG THEM SAYING THIS IS ENDANGERED DO NOT hangs out with the members so much that he figures out their hit spots". these are where the trees are relatively secluded and unguarded. (he writes all this shit and numbers down for BUT THATS NOT ENOUGH BECAUSE THE GOVT SAYS HES WASTING THEIR FUNDING IF HE DOESNT HAVE PROOF and they are willing to take LEGAL ACTION for misuse of funding (my prof doesn't have the money nore time nor power to take them to court, which would also blow his cover). so my prof literally STAKES OUT a copse of cucumber trees at a recognized wildlife reserve for. DAYS. he camps there, and watches the trees, is about to give up, he's going off an unreliable rumor from the traffickers that a harvester would be going there within the next week. finally, this guy comes and takes the cucumber tree seeds from the CLEARLY MARKED trees by the government, and my prof takes pictures (we are shown these pictures, most of us are speechless at this point). dozens of candid shots of a man my grandpa's age with a grocery store bag, garden shears, and a ladder, clipping away the illegal seeds and then going on his way so my prof has the proof, he's been undercover for months now at this point, he writes up his report, gives it to the government who is likeoh shit", helps them draft up a new LESS COMPLETELY FUCKING OBVious way of marking e wouldn't damage them further, etc.), and then never retuns to the tree traffickers. he'd given them a fake name, address, (so that way there was a full minute of stunned silence from us students at this point, during which he grew more and more nervous (again, he's a muffin) and all of us students are just like whoa. we asked him what happened to the remaining illegal cucumber trees & if he turned the tree dealers in to the government, and that is when he smiles a little bit and shows us the last few pictures. because here's the kicker... he never turned the smugglers in. he burned all the data he collected, defied the government pressuring him to turn them in, and the only reason he's not incarcerated is because his work is so prominent in certain circles now & universities love him, that there would be an uproar if he got arrested. he's like a fucking anti-hero and then he tells us (ill never forget, it's the most inspirational green-thumb thing in the world) "it may be illegal', but those who risk their liberty to-save the world- should never be reprimanded, no matter what we are all stunned. some of us are considering dendrology as a field we'd now be interested in pursuing. he clicks his slide one final time, before we leave our last lecture and, since he had an asthma attack (lil muffin) he didn't attend our exam, so and there, on the slides, the last picture? THERE HE IS. in his own backyard. with his equally lovely TA wife. both grinning GROWN. ILLEGAL. CUCUMBER TREE 72,767 Tree espionage
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Children, God, and Life: wikipedia brown @eveewing I just thought about this today and dug through my pictures to find it: a letter from a black soldier in the Civil War to the person who owns his daughter. "The longer you keep my child from me the longer you will have to burn in Hell and the quicker you will get there ETTER FROM A BLACK SOLDIER O THE OWNER OF HIS DAUGHTER Kitey Dice r såane. holding rebbels for we dont ex to get them and when I get redy t to leave there root neor to come after mary I will have anch but we thinke how ever bout a powrer and autherity to letter from Cari that we that have Children in the bring hear away and to exacute you say 1 hands of you devels we will trie o steal to plunder my child your the day that we enter Glas I want you to understand diggs that where ever you given rite and I meets we are enmays to own and you may hold on each orthere I offered once to pay to hear as long as you can but I you forty dollars for my own want you to remembor this one Child but I am glad now that you vengencens on them that holds my Child you will then know how to talke to me I will asure that and you will know how to talk rite too I want you now to just hold to hear if you want to iff your conchosence tells thats the road go that road and what it to understand that mary is my Child and she is a God longor you keep did not accept it Just hold on will brig you to kittey diggs I from me the longor now as long as you can and the have no fears about getting mary out of your hands this whole Govenment gives chear to me worse it will be for you you I came to burn in hell and the quicer youll get their for we never in you life befor are now makeing up a bout one down hear did you give Children and you cannot help your self Come up tharough and wont to not even a dollars worth of ex Source: Ira Berlin, ed., Freedom, A Doc when we come wo be to Coppe hood rabbels your property not so with me my 1861-1867. Cambridge: Cambridge and to the Slave Children is my own and I expect University, 1982. 690
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Blackpeopletwitter, Children, and God: wikipedia brown @eveewing I just thought about this today and dug through my pictures to find it: a letter from a black soldier in the Civil War to the person who owns his daughter. "The longer you keep my child from me the longer you will have to burn in Hell and the quicker you will get there ETTER FROM A BLACK SOLDIER O THE OWNER OF HIS DAUGHTER Kitey Dice r såane. holding rebbels for we dont ex to get them and when I get redy t to leave there root neor to come after mary I will have anch but we thinke how ever bout a powrer and autherity to letter from Cari that we that have Children in the bring hear away and to exacute you say 1 hands of you devels we will trie o steal to plunder my child your the day that we enter Glas I want you to understand diggs that where ever you given rite and I meets we are enmays to own and you may hold on each orthere I offered once to pay to hear as long as you can but I you forty dollars for my own want you to remembor this one Child but I am glad now that you vengencens on them that holds my Child you will then know how to talke to me I will asure that and you will know how to talk rite too I want you now to just hold to hear if you want to iff your conchosence tells thats the road go that road and what it to understand that mary is my Child and she is a God longor you keep did not accept it Just hold on will brig you to kittey diggs I from me the longor now as long as you can and the have no fears about getting mary out of your hands this whole Govenment gives chear to me worse it will be for you you I came to burn in hell and the quicer youll get their for we never in you life befor are now makeing up a bout one down hear did you give Children and you cannot help your self Come up tharough and wont to not even a dollars worth of ex Source: Ira Berlin, ed., Freedom, A Doc when we come wo be to Coppe hood rabbels your property not so with me my 1861-1867. Cambridge: Cambridge and to the Slave Children is my own and I expect University, 1982. 690 <p>Zoom in to FEEL the POWER. (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)</p>

Zoom in to FEEL the POWER. (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)

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Children, God, and Life: wikipedia brown @eveewing I just thought about this today and dug through my pictures to find it: a letter from a black soldier in the Civil War to the person who owns his daughter. "The longer you keep my child from me the longer you will have to burn in Hell and the quicker you will get there ETTER FROM A BLACK SOLDIER O THE OWNER OF HIS DAUGHTER Kitey Dice r såane. holding rebbels for we dont ex to get them and when I get redy t to leave there root neor to come after mary I will have anch but we thinke how ever bout a powrer and autherity to letter from Cari that we that have Children in the bring hear away and to exacute you say 1 hands of you devels we will trie o steal to plunder my child your the day that we enter Glas I want you to understand diggs that where ever you given rite and I meets we are enmays to own and you may hold on each orthere I offered once to pay to hear as long as you can but I you forty dollars for my own want you to remembor this one Child but I am glad now that you vengencens on them that holds my Child you will then know how to talke to me I will asure that and you will know how to talk rite too I want you now to just hold to hear if you want to iff your conchosence tells thats the road go that road and what it to understand that mary is my Child and she is a God longor you keep did not accept it Just hold on will brig you to kittey diggs I from me the longor now as long as you can and the have no fears about getting mary out of your hands this whole Govenment gives chear to me worse it will be for you you I came to burn in hell and the quicer youll get their for we never in you life befor are now makeing up a bout one down hear did you give Children and you cannot help your self Come up tharough and wont to not even a dollars worth of ex Source: Ira Berlin, ed., Freedom, A Doc when we come wo be to Coppe hood rabbels your property not so with me my 1861-1867. Cambridge: Cambridge and to the Slave Children is my own and I expect University, 1982. 690 Zoom in to FEEL the POWER.

Zoom in to FEEL the POWER.

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Children, Dank, and God: wikipedia brown @eveewing I just thought about this today and dug through my pictures to find it: a letter from a black soldier in the Civil War to the person who owns his daughter. "The longer you keep my child from me the longer you will have to burn in Hell and the quicker you will get there ETTER FROM A BLACK SOLDIER O THE OWNER OF HIS DAUGHTER Kitey Dice r såane. holding rebbels for we dont ex to get them and when I get redy t to leave there root neor to come after mary I will have anch but we thinke how ever bout a powrer and autherity to letter from Cari that we that have Children in the bring hear away and to exacute you say 1 hands of you devels we will trie o steal to plunder my child your the day that we enter Glas I want you to understand diggs that where ever you given rite and I meets we are enmays to own and you may hold on each orthere I offered once to pay to hear as long as you can but I you forty dollars for my own want you to remembor this one Child but I am glad now that you vengencens on them that holds my Child you will then know how to talke to me I will asure that and you will know how to talk rite too I want you now to just hold to hear if you want to iff your conchosence tells thats the road go that road and what it to understand that mary is my Child and she is a God longor you keep did not accept it Just hold on will brig you to kittey diggs I from me the longor now as long as you can and the have no fears about getting mary out of your hands this whole Govenment gives chear to me worse it will be for you you I came to burn in hell and the quicer youll get their for we never in you life befor are now makeing up a bout one down hear did you give Children and you cannot help your self Come up tharough and wont to not even a dollars worth of ex Source: Ira Berlin, ed., Freedom, A Doc when we come wo be to Coppe hood rabbels your property not so with me my 1861-1867. Cambridge: Cambridge and to the Slave Children is my own and I expect University, 1982. 690 Zoom in to FEEL the POWER. by Eagle_215 FOLLOW HERE 4 MORE MEMES.

Zoom in to FEEL the POWER. by Eagle_215 FOLLOW HERE 4 MORE MEMES.

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Children, Dude, and Dumb: webelieveinyoukris Being gay is natural? Okay You have three islands. Divide them into groups of one. The straight island, the gay island, and the lesbian island. The straight island is going to reproduce and keep going strong for millions of generations to come. The gay and lesbian islands will both wipe out in not even one century. This isn't just about religion or t simple common sense. Bei ing gay is unnatural, and not just because God said so, but because you yourself wouldn't even be born without a REAL natural man and woman. And no, there is no such thing as a lesbian bone marrow "thing to have children. That's a biased fact that came from a lesbian scientist who has false opinions. If it's not a real penis or vagina, then it's fucking false and you're just opinionated by dumb facts. I'm done here. Read over what I said and if you still think that being gay is normal and natural, then I hope you achieve some common sense one day. Bye yeinns Where is this gay island located.. asking for a friend queercakes just have SO MANY questions. Why were we all separated onto different islands? Did the government sanction this? If so, why? Why didn't we revolt against this tyrannical government? Where are these islands? How were they chosen? Are the continents of the world abandoned? What kind of resources are on each island? Are they the same or different? Does each island have a right to form its own govenment or does the government that segregated us still rule? If so, what island do they rule from and how do they communicate with the other two islands? If they can communicate with the other two islands, can all three islands communicate with each other? If the straight people keep reproducing won't their island become overpopulated and their resources depleted? Islands only have so much space right? Do straight people stop having gay kids? Isn't it a fact that, to date, straight people are the largest manufacturers of gay kids? If a gay kid is born on straight island, do they get sent to their appropriate island? Wouldn't that aid in the re-population of gay and lesbian island? What about people who are attracted to more than one gender? Are they just lost at sea floating aimlessly? Is the ocean full of listless pansexuals, fioating nowhere? Or are they trapped in some sort of purgatory because they don't fit on any one island? Are there trees on lesbian island? Is it conceivable that if there were, a arge group of lesbians could build a boat? Have you ever seen lesbians around timber? If they built a boat, could they travel to gay island? How far apart are the islands? If they could travel to gay island, would they be able to collect semen return to lesbian island, and repopulate the island? Would they be able to send some of those children to gay island? Do trans people exist in this world? If so wouldn't they be able to aid in repopulation? If the lesbians decided to declare war on the heterosexuals, would they be able to reach their island? On the way to heterosexual island, could the lesbians pick up the gays and scoop the floating bisexuals from the sea? If so, would they all be able to go and attack heterosexual island together, wiping out its people's, stealing its children and taking all its resources? Does this fantasy world get you off at night? Please write back soon fieldbears Speaking up from the pansexual archipelago: i too have these questions hellisbucky Checking in from bisexual bay: The boats are nearly complete and are equipped with a special invisibility function. We attack at dawn fieldbears Fuck the questions, lemme on that boat, I'm coming with you singoallala random ace just floating away into the sky like a balloon* jezunya I am so here for an asexual sky nation. We live in fioating cities and master the wind currents. Newly minted ace youths are sent up to us in baskets suspended under hot air balloons. We breed giant birds to bear us through the skies, or else build ourselves wings and gliders to fly in their midst. The only land we know are the tallest mountain peaks and the world is a bright blue gem spreading out beneath us And we will of course be providing air support for the impending attack on Straight Island) homieomorphism Long ago, the four nations lived in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Hetero Nation attacked Source:webelieveinyoukris #just. …like DUDE #also i love how absokuteky zero of this post's replies actually explain to op hiw they were dumb #instead they built the premise of a tv show that frankly needs to be funded asap 435,477 notes Sometimes a post is so freaking dumb that the only response is ridiculousness
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Children, Dude, and Dumb: webelieveinyoukris Being gay is natural? Okay You have three islands. Divide them into groups of one. The straight island, the gay island, and the lesbian island. The straight island is going to reproduce and keep going strong for millions of generations to come. The gay and lesbian islands will both wipe out in not even one century. This isn't just about religion or t simple common sense. Bei ing gay is unnatural, and not just because God said so, but because you yourself wouldn't even be born without a REAL natural man and woman. And no, there is no such thing as a lesbian bone marrow "thing to have children. That's a biased fact that came from a lesbian scientist who has false opinions. If it's not a real penis or vagina, then it's fucking false and you're just opinionated by dumb facts. I'm done here. Read over what I said and if you still think that being gay is normal and natural, then I hope you achieve some common sense one day. Bye yeinns Where is this gay island located.. asking for a friend queercakes just have SO MANY questions. Why were we all separated onto different islands? Did the government sanction this? If so, why? Why didn't we revolt against this tyrannical government? Where are these islands? How were they chosen? Are the continents of the world abandoned? What kind of resources are on each island? Are they the same or different? Does each island have a right to form its own govenment or does the government that segregated us still rule? If so, what island do they rule from and how do they communicate with the other two islands? If they can communicate with the other two islands, can all three islands communicate with each other? If the straight people keep reproducing won't their island become overpopulated and their resources depleted? Islands only have so much space right? Do straight people stop having gay kids? Isn't it a fact that, to date, straight people are the largest manufacturers of gay kids? If a gay kid is born on straight island, do they get sent to their appropriate island? Wouldn't that aid in the re-population of gay and lesbian island? What about people who are attracted to more than one gender? Are they just lost at sea floating aimlessly? Is the ocean full of listless pansexuals, fioating nowhere? Or are they trapped in some sort of purgatory because they don't fit on any one island? Are there trees on lesbian island? Is it conceivable that if there were, a arge group of lesbians could build a boat? Have you ever seen lesbians around timber? If they built a boat, could they travel to gay island? How far apart are the islands? If they could travel to gay island, would they be able to collect semen return to lesbian island, and repopulate the island? Would they be able to send some of those children to gay island? Do trans people exist in this world? If so wouldn't they be able to aid in repopulation? If the lesbians decided to declare war on the heterosexuals, would they be able to reach their island? On the way to heterosexual island, could the lesbians pick up the gays and scoop the floating bisexuals from the sea? If so, would they all be able to go and attack heterosexual island together, wiping out its people's, stealing its children and taking all its resources? Does this fantasy world get you off at night? Please write back soon fieldbears Speaking up from the pansexual archipelago: i too have these questions hellisbucky Checking in from bisexual bay: The boats are nearly complete and are equipped with a special invisibility function. We attack at dawn fieldbears Fuck the questions, lemme on that boat, I'm coming with you singoallala random ace just floating away into the sky like a balloon* jezunya I am so here for an asexual sky nation. We live in fioating cities and master the wind currents. Newly minted ace youths are sent up to us in baskets suspended under hot air balloons. We breed giant birds to bear us through the skies, or else build ourselves wings and gliders to fly in their midst. The only land we know are the tallest mountain peaks and the world is a bright blue gem spreading out beneath us And we will of course be providing air support for the impending attack on Straight Island) homieomorphism Long ago, the four nations lived in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Hetero Nation attacked Source:webelieveinyoukris #just. …like DUDE #also i love how absokuteky zero of this post's replies actually explain to op hiw they were dumb #instead they built the premise of a tv show that frankly needs to be funded asap 435,477 notes Sometimes a post is so freaking dumb that the only response is ridiculousness
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