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Advice, Alive, and Ass: English Pronunciation If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90 % of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. FeOffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches,breeches, wise, precise Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surp Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. plait, promise, pal. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye,I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bas. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!! you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz: Excellent English Pronunciation Poem
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Bailey Jay, Bones, and Life: S TOME OF BEASTS SKELETON, SHARKJAW orm approaches through the murky ter, but as it nears, it becomes clear that this is no living thing. It is made entirely of sharks'jaws joined together and brought to life with grim maga Made from numerous, interlocking shark's jaws, The bumanoid form approaches through wa these horrors are animated through foul magic into a large, vaguely humanoid shape. Sahuagin priests animate them to guard their sepulchers of bones These sharkjaw skeletons lie among great piles of bones, waiting to rise up and attack any uninvited souls who invade the sanctity of sahuagin holy sites. Others guard pirate treasures or ancient shipwrecks UNDEAD AUTOMATON. Being mindless, sharkjaw skeletons do nothing without orders from their creator, and they follow those instructions explicitly. A sharkjaw skeleton's creator can give it new commands as long as the skeleton s within 60 feet and can see and ear its creator. Otherwise, a arkjaw skeleton follows its last structions to the best of its ability and the exclusion of all else, though it will ays fight back if attacked. DEAD NATURE. A shroud doesn't require ood, drink, or sleep AW SKELETON ad, lawful evil s 13 (natural armor) 15 (6d10 + 12) swim 30 ft. Languages understands the languages of its creator can't speak Challenge 1 (200 XP) X CON NT bunjywunjy: ketchuplaser: bunjywunjy: armchair-factotum: young-replica: ??????? The wizard that made this knew exactly what they wanted …okay my next character is going to be one of these with Groucho Marx glasses @bunjywunjy, I got you. I was going to name them Captain Sharkjaw, but you do you. “I once killed a Owlbear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” now he’s Groucho Sharks

bunjywunjy: ketchuplaser: bunjywunjy: armchair-factotum: young-replica: ??????? The wizard that made this knew exactly what they wanted ...

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